Speedy, Meri & Me Martha Rose Crow

 

ACT 10: WINTER IN WONDERLAND

 

LONG SHOT OF SINGLE IN A GRAY, COLD DAY.

 

DIVA(narrating) It got cold after New Yea r's and stayed cold enough for the water to freeze. When the water freezes, everyone

comes out with skates.

 

DISSOLVE PEOPLE AND ACTIVITY ON ICE. LOTS OF CHILDREN ON SKATES.

 

DIVA (narrating) Being a true Dutchman, Speedy had to skate, too. He took us to skate with him under a full moon.

 

DISSOLVE PEOPLE AND ACTIVITY ON ICE AT NIGHT. FULL MOON SHINES ABOVE THE WINDMILL ON THE

SINGEL. LOTS OF ADULTS ON SKATES.

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEED, MERI AND ME SKATING. EVERYONE HAS A GOOD TIME.

 

DISSOLVE TO INSIDE OF COFFEE SHOP. THE PLACE IS FULL OF PEOPLE, MOSTLY MEN AND IT IS VERY

NOISY. FADE NOISE TO HEAR DIVA.

 

DIVA (narrating) When winter is at its peak, Patty has her annual

Dutch Joint Rolling Contest. Dutch people come from all over the country to try to win in such categories as Fastest Joint, Most

Creative Joint, Fattest Joint, Smallest Joint and Most Lekker Joint. Women have the same categories, but fewer sign up than

men.

 

FOUR SHOT OF MEN ROLLING A JOINT VERY FAST. SPEEDY IS ONE OF THEM AND HE WINS.

 

DIVA(narrating) Speedy usually wins the "Fastest Joint" contest. (Laughs) Most of the guys here are from out of town and

they don't think that Speedy gets his name because he's so fast at rolling joints.

 

ONE-SHOT OF MERI ROLLING A JOINT WITH THREE OTHER LADIES.

 

DIVA(narrating) Meri took first place in the women's 'Perfect Joint' category.

 

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA ROLLING A JOINT BY THE BAR.

 

DIVA (narrating) Me, I still can't roll a decent joint.

 

< DT>ONE-SHOT OF WEAK JOINT IN DIVA'S HAND, FALLING OVER.

 

DIVA (narrating and laughing) That is why Speedy or Meri usually roll at home. Everyone makes it look so easy when it isn't . .

.

 

ONE-SHOT OF A JOINT WITH A CROWN.

 

DIVA(narrating) Some of these guys have a real skill and get to show it off to other Dutchmen instead of tourists that wander

into their coffee shops.

 

ONE-SHOT OF DUTCHMAN ROLLING JOINT SHAPED LIKE A TULIP.

 

DIVA(narrating) So many contestants come that it takes two days to hold all the contests. Afterwards, everyone parties as the

cold, North Sea wind blows hard outside.

 

GROUP-SHOT OF EVERYONE HAVING A GOOD TIME IN THE COFFEE SHOP, CAMERA ZOOMS IN TO SEE

SPEEDY AND MERI'S LITTLE TROPHIES WITH LITTLE MARIJUANA LEAVES SITTING ON THE BAR IN FRONT

OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME. CAMERA MOVES PAST THEM AND TOWARDS THE FROSTED WINDOW,

MOVING UP INTO THE SKY TO SEE A COLD, FROSTY ALKMAAR IN WINTER. SOUNDS OF COFFEE SHOP

LAUGHTER AND REGGAE MUSIC-BECOME FADED.

 

DISSOLVE TO TWO SHOT OF SPEEDY AND MERI IN BAR.

 

DIVA (narrating) I've been in Holland a long time now and I still struggle to

speak the language. I always get it mixed up

 

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA WALKING WITH FOUR BEERS. THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME WHILE DIVA

PUTS THE FOUR BEERS DOWN.

 

SPDY(to Diva) Did you order in Dutch again? (Diva nods a little sadly and Meri laughs)

 

DIVA (narrating) I can't read it very well, either.

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA IN GROC ERY STORE STUDYING MEAT IN WRAPPERS.

 

DIVA(narrating) Speedy will send me to the store to get ground beef for

meatballs and I always get it wrong

 

DIVA STOPS MEAT GUY IN WALKING BY HER FAST IN HIS WHITE COAT.

 

DIVAAstublieft, is this cow? Cow for gehaktballens?

 

MEAT (nodding fast) Ja.

 

ONE-SHOT OF SPEEDY LOOKING AT THE MEAT UNHAPPILY.

 

SPDYThis is not cow meat, Diva. This is pig meat. Now how am I supposed to make me atballs with this?

 

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA LOOKING A LITTLE UNHAPPY.

 

DIVAStill, Speedy keeps sending me to the store, hoping that I will get it right

 

DIVA STOPS MEAT GUY IN WALKING BY HER FAST IN HIS WHITE COAT.

 

DIVAAstublieft, is this cow? You know, (puffs her face up) like "moooo?" "Mooooo.....mooooo?"

 

MEAT (not paying attention) Ja, ja.

 

DIVA PUTS THE PACKAGE IN FRONT OF HIS FACE

 

DIV A Last time I asked you this, you told me it was, but it wasn't. I really need to know if this is cow? Do you understand?

"Moooooo"

"Moooooo" "Mooooooooooooooooo" Not, niet a pig. They go like this, "Oink, Oink." "Oink, oink." They also make sounds

like this (hog-hog sound through the nose)

 

MEAT (pointing at package) Koe

 

DIVA Are you sure?

 

MEAT (doesn't care) Ja.

 

ONE-SHOT OF SPEEDY LOOKING AT THE MEAT UNHAPPILY.

 

SPDYWell you got it half-right this time, Diva. It's half-cow and it's half pig. Now how am I supposed to make meatballs with

this?

 

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA LOOKING A LITTLE MISERABLE.

 

DIVASpeedy won't teach me Dutch. He doesn't have the patience. He once tried a few times to speak it

 

TWO-SHOT OF SPEEDY AND DIVA RECITING THE ALPHABET.

 

SPDY It's ghaaa, not gak

 

DIVA Okay, let me try again. Kahak.

 

SPDY (putting hands on ears) It's ghaaa, ghaaa

 

DIVA Ghagak

 

SPDY(keeping hands on ears) Aye, yaye, yaye. That sounds terrible! Try another letter

 

DIVA (with a bad accent) H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R

 

SPDY It's rrrrrrrr, not errrrrr

 

DIVA Errrk

 

SDPYStop! I can't stand this anymore. I'm not a teacher. Particularly a language teacher. Have someone else teach you Dutch.

 

GROUP-SHOT OF A FIFTY -MEMBER CHOIR IN AN OLD CHURCH.

 

DIVA(narrating) I thought maybe I could learn some of the language by joining the Seaside Singers. Guess what? Most of the

songs they sing are in English. Spirituals from the American Deep South. Ones I grew up with. Songs like

 

QUICK CLIPS OF CHOIR SINGING, 'When the Saints Go Marching In', 'I Saw the Light' and 'Battle Hymn of the Republic'

 

DIVA(narrating) So I haven't learned much Dutch from joining the choir and after sing, I am always hungry for grits, greens,

buttermilk bisquits, chicken-friend steak with southern-style gravy, fried apples and sweet potato pie.

 

ONE-SHOT OF TABLE FULL OF SOUTHERN FOODS.

 

DIVA(narrating) Food that is almost impossible to get in Holland. But Speedy would never eat that kind of food anyway. He

always says,

 

ONE-SHOT OF SPEEDY.

 

SPDYAmerican food, ugh! American food is too greasy and dirty. I only eat Dutch food.

 

ONE-SHOT OF MEATBALLS IN A DUTCH MEATBALL PAN.

 

DIVA(narrating) Meri and me always know what we are going to have ev ery evening for dinner

 

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA IN THE MEAT SECTION OF THE GROCERY STORE.

 

DIVA(narrating) Unless I get the wrong meat at the store and it gets too late to get some more

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI & ME EATING AT A KIOSK.

 

 

DIVA(narrating) Then we go out and eat loempias and bami. Not grits or buttermilk bisquits, but I'm adjusting. . .

 

DISSOLVE TO NEXT SCENE.

 

 

 

 

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