Speedy, Meri & Me Martha Rose Crow

 

ACT 8: HOLIDAYS IN HOLLAND

 

FADE-IN TO STARRY SKY:

A COUPLE OF WHITE FIREWORKS GOING UP, LIKE REVERSE COMETS.

 

DIVA (narrating) The neighbors in the neighborhood couldn't wait for New Year's so they started lighting their firecrackers

around Christmas.

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND DIVA IN SPEEDY'S LIVING ROOM. THE BROWN WRAPPING ON THE

COFFEE TABLE SHOWS THAT SOMEONE GOT A PACKAGE IN THE MAIL. SPEEDY, MERI AND DIVA ARE

OPENING PRESENTS WITH A LITTLE APPREHENSION.

 

DIVA (narrating) My mother sent us some Christmas presents and we were opening them up.

 

SPEEDY OPENS HIS PRESENT FASTER THAN DIVA AND MERI. THEY L OOK TO SEE WHAT HE GOT.

IRONICALLY, ITS A T-SHIRT WITH BIG ORANGE AND RED FLAMES OF FIRE THAT SAYS "SINNERS WILL

BURN IN HELL."

 

SPDY (shrugging) I needed a new bike rag . . .

 

MERI FINISHES OPENING HER PRESENT AND ITS A BLACK T-SHIRT WITH A LARGE FACE OF A DEMON ON

IT. HIS EYES GLOW RED AS HE BARES HIS YELLOW TEETH MENACINGLY. IT SAYS "SATAN WANTS YOUR

SOUL." MERI HOLDS THE T-SHIRT AWAY FROM HER AS SHE DISPLAYS HER PRESENT TO SPEEDY AND

MERI.

 

MERI Your m other really scares me. (Looks at Speedy) Here's another rag for your bike (throws t-shirt to him, he catches it).

 

 

 

SPEEDY AND MERI LOOK AT DIVA'S SHIRT AND IT IS ONE OF A LAKE OF FIRE WITH SULFUR FUMES WITH

A LOT OF PEOPLE IN IT, WRITHING AND SCREAMING IN PAIN.

 

MERI(shakes her head in disbelief as she asks Diva) You're not traumatized from having a mother like that are you? I would be.

 

DIVA(starts to laugh) You mean other people don't have mothers like mine? You mean other people don't get these kind of

presents for Christmas?

 

MERIYour mother is depressing. Doesn't she know that Christmas is supposed to be happy?

 

DIVA OPENS UP A SMALL PRESENT AND STARTS TO LAUGH AGAIN.

 

DIVA(holding up an earring in each hand) Check this out, Meri. I've got new earrings to match my new t-shirt (holds up the

earring in her right hand that says "Say No To Satan") (holds up the other earring in her left hand that says "Say Yes to Jesus")

 

SPEEDY AND MERI ROLL THEIR EYES AND SHAKE THEIR HEADS IN WONDER AND DISBELIEF. DIVA IS

EMBARRASSED. SPEEDY AND MERI KEEP LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND THE T-SHIRTS UNTIL THE

BURST OUT LAUGHING. DIVA LAUGHS WITH THEM.

 

SPDY (holding up Meri's t-shirt) I think Meri got the best one. (To Meri) You should keep it.

 

MERI(shaking head) No, thanks. It's too big and its something I'd never wear.

 

DIVA You could use it to sleep in.

 

MERI LOOKS AT THE DEMON IN HORROR AND DISBELIEF.

 

MERIWould you sleep in something with a face like that? It would give me nightmares. Its already giving me nightmares and

I'm not sleeping. (Looks at Speedy) You keep it.

 

(DIVA OPENS UP A CHRISTMAS CARD)

 

SPDY What does it say?

 

DIVA You don't want to know.

 

SPDY It can't be worse than these t-shirts or those earrings.

 

DIVA (hesitant) Maybe it is.

 

MERI How bad is it?

 

DIVADo you guys want to hear a poem called, "Twas the Night Before Jesus Came?" (Meri and Speedy's face s show disbelief,

disgust and pity for Diva)

 

MERI Your mother really scares me. Are there other Americans like her?

 

DIVA All over the place.

 

MERI As religious as she is?

 

DIVA Worse. I could tell you all kinds of stories.

 

MERI(shaking head) No, don't tell me. I don't think I want to hear them . .

 

FADE TO A ONE-SHOT OF SPEEDY DRINKING COFFEE IN THE

COFFEE SHOP.< /DT>

 

DIVA(narrating) A couple of days later, Speedy was wearing Meri's t-shirt in the coffee shop.

 

A YOUNG SATANIST WITH A BLACK T-SHIRT AND AN UPSIDE-DOWN CRUCIFIX COMES UP TO SPEEDY. HE

IS WITH A COUPLE OF OTHER "DARK DUDES"

 

SATE Waar heb je dat gave t-shirt gekocht?

(Where did you get that cool t-shirt?)

 

SPDY Het was een kerst geshcenk van mijn vriendins moeder.

(It was a Christmas gift from my girlfriend's mother in the States.)

 

SATEWil je dat verkopen? Ik geef je er vijftig euro voor. Okee, zeventig eruo, maar ik heb het wel nu nodig!

 

(Do you want to sell it? (Speedy wants to say yes, but is cut off) I'll give you fifty euros for it. (Speedy is surprised and his face

reflects it). Okay, seventy-five euros. But you have to give it to me now.)

 

SPEEDY TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF AND GIVES IT TO THE SATANIST. THE TWO SATANIST FRIENDS LOOK

JEALOUS

 

SHOT OF SPEEDY'S LIVING ROOM. DIVA IS WRITING ON HER COMPUTER IN THE CORNER. SPEEDY

RUSHES IN. THREE GUYS ARE WAITING BY THE BACKDOOR IN THE KITCHEN FOR HIM. DIVA SEES THAT

HE'S IN HIS UNDER SHIRT

 

DIVA Where's your shirt?

 

SPDY Wait, I'll tell you in a minute.

 

SPEEDY RACES UP THE STAIRS AND COMES DOWN WITH THE OTHER T-SHIRTS. BEFORE DIVA CAN SAY

SOMETHING, HE'S GIVING THEM TO THE GUYS IN THE KITCHEN. ONE OF THEM IS PROUDLY WEARING

THE SATAN SHIRT. SHE HEARS THEM SAYING

 

GUY1 Bedankt, mon.

(Thanks, man.)

 

GUY2 Hier is je geld.

(Here's your money.)

 

SATE Bel me als je er meer van heb.

(Call us if you get any more of them.)

 

GROUP SHOT OF APPRECIATIVE SATANISTS BUYING THE T-SHIRTS.

 

DIVA(narrating and chuckling) One man's bike rags is another man's treasure. (chuckle) Those Satanists had a good sense of

humor, plus they saved us. They gave us enough money to buy some things we really needed

 

ONE-SHOT OF DIVA PUTTING GROCERIES INTO A NEAR-EMPTY REFRIGERATOR.

 

DIVA (narrating) And it paid for our New Year's party

 

TWO SHOT OF SPEEDY AND MERI CARRYING IN TWO BOXES OF BEER.

 

DIVA (narrating) We got invited to several parties, but we decided to stay home. Besides, the best New Year's Eve show is in the

Centrum where we live.

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY AND DIVA DRINKING A BEER AS MERI DANCES IN THE BACKGROUND.

 

DIVA (narrating) Right before midnight, Meri and me were talking

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM TALKING. SPEEDY IS ROLLING A

JOINT.

 

DIVA (to Meri) Do you ever miss Croatia?

 

MERI All the time. It is my country, but I just can not live there.

 

DIVA Why?

 

MERINo work. Until the war, I had two jobs. Then came the war and I had no jobs. There wasn't enough work left for women

that paid enough to live on.

 

DIVAI know what you're talking about. If you can' t buy your daily bread, you can't eat. If you don't eat, you die.

 

MERIYou always have a creative way of explaining things. Are all Americans like that? No, don't tell me, it may confirm my

fears.

 

DIVA (laughing) I don't know. Must be because I think like a philosopher. But I know what you are talking about when you are

talking about women and work. I had the same problem. I couldn't get enough work. Four university degrees in all kinds of

things, but I was lucky if I could get one day of work a week. My husband was an asshole and I wanted to leave him, but I

neede d a job to support myself on. He wasn't going to support me and there were no social service programs to help me. I

desperately tried to get work and I couldn't get it. (Eyes become excited) Check this out! The government and media said that

there were all kinds of great jobs all over the place that were going unfilled. But they didn't exist. My friends and I looked all

over for them and we never found them. We'd call TV stations and newspaper offices, write government offices, talk to

politicians. No one knew where those jobs were. No one. Except . . .

All of them told me that McDonald's always needed help.

 

MERI You can't live on that.

 

DIVAI know, but those guys don't have to work there so they feel they have every right to tell you that you have to. They don't

have to grovel while dying of poverty, but they want you to. I had this terrible husband and I wanted to get away from him. All I

needed was one decent job so I could leave him and I just couldn't get one. In the end, I had sixteen part-time jobs-I was a

substitute teacher signed up with eleven school districts and five Catholic schools and I was lucky if I could get one day of work

a week.

 

MERI Is that why you came here to North Holland, looking for work?

 

DIVAIn the beginning, I never planned to go anywhere. I wanted to work and live in my own country. But because I was born a

hillbilly, I was born at the bottom of society. They award and reward jobs in America by class lines. I had no class, therefore I

had no right to jobs except the lowest of all jobs. After I got my education, I was locked out of all jobs, including the shit ones.

Employers were afraid that people like me would count injuries and profits, then organize the workers. One day, after trying

everything I could to get a decent job, I realized that I would never get one.

 

A poor woman in America without the guardianship of a primary male is homeless in the streets. I knew where it was all going.

But then the police kidnapped me after I had called them earlier for help. Although I acted cool as a cucumber, it scared the shit

out of me. I felt so betrayed, too. They tried to have me hospitalized because the officer said I had a 'victim' mentality. He said

that I had to have some kind of great character defect because I couldn't find one of those fabulous jobs that the media and

government said existed. The hospital wouldn't admit me. They gave me a clean bill of health and the police weren' t happy.

Everyone knows that once the police start harassing you . . .

 

SPDY They never stop. (Meri nods in agreement)

 

MERIThat's one of the many reasons I never wanted to go to America. I grew up in a communist country and I think our police

were less violent than yours still are.

 

SPDY (to Meri) I don't even like Americans, but Diva is different.

 

MERI (smiling) Ja, Diva is different.

 

DIVA To finish answering your question: I came here to put an ocean between me and my husband and my country. I came

here to figure out what happened to me and why. I came to North Holland because I followed my psychic feelings. (Looks at

Speedy, then Meri) Best thing I ever did.

 

CLOSEUP OF DIVA.

 

DIVA(happily and sincerely) This is the best New Years Eve I ever had, although I do miss my kids. But they're grown up, so

everything's cool.

 

CLOSEUP OF MERI.

 

MERIWhat about your little grandson Nakota? The one you raised from a newborn? Do you still plan to get him some day?

 

TWO-SHOT OF DIVA AND MERI. EVERYONE IS SMOKING A JOINT AND OCCASIONALLY TAKING A DRINK

OF BEER.

 

DIVASomeday, when I get a white job so I can be absolutely legal. That way, he won't have to feel like an illegal refugee. You

know the feeling.

 

MERI (shrugging and a little sadly) I know the feeling.

 

DIVAHe's a nice little boy and I don't want him to suffer the humiliation of being deported.

 

TH REE-SHOT.

 

SPDY If Nakota ever comes, I will protect him.

 

DIVA(smiling) I know you would. (Sighing happily) This really is the best New Year's Eve I've ever had.

 

MERI (to Speedy) Does Diva know about the light show?

 

SPDY (putting index finger to lips) Shhh . . .

 

MERI (smiling) Okay . . .

 

DIVA What are you talking about?

 

SPDY (smiling) You'll soon see . . .

 

DIVA You're not going to spit fire are you? Kind of bring in the New Year creatively or something are you?

 

SPDY(shaking head left to right) Nee, Diva. But you know I would do it if we really needed the money.

 

DIVA (laughing) We always really need money. (Speedy and Meri laugh with her)

 

SPDY That's true, but my mother is old and I don't want to worry her anymore.

 

DIVAYou're right. You shouldn't worry her. You're lucky you have such a nice mother.

 

SPDY That's because she's not religious.

 

DIVANo, you just have a nice mother. (Thinking for a moment) You know, all of us are entertainers, of a sort. You spit fire and

Meri's a gymnast.

 

MERI I'm also an escort.

 

DIVA(laughing) You're right. That's entertainment, too. Then I'm a writer and poet dreamer. (Remembers something) I'm also a

magician, too.

 

MERI (looking at Diva's pentagram necklace) We know.

 

DIVA(laughing) I am also this kind of magician, too. (Diva splays her hands and shows nothing hidden between her fingers.

She puts her right hand behind Meri's ear and pulls out a coin. She puts it in the palm of her hand and makes a fist. When she

opens her hand the coin is gone. She splays her fingers to show that she isn't hiding the coin between her fingers.)

 

SPDY Hey, how did you do that?

 

DIVA (reaching for Speedy's ear) Do what? Do this? (Pulls the coin out from behind his ear)

 

MERI(laughing) that's pretty good. You're going to have to show me how to do that and Speedy, you're going to have to show

me how to spit fire.

 

SPDY You really want to learn?

 

MERI Yes, it would be fun.

 

SPDYIt's dangerous. You've got to know what you're doing because the wind in Holland is always changing.

 

MERI(purring at the prospects of danger) I vant to learn it. That, and the cool trick Diva just showed us.

 

DIVA I know more simple tricks like that, too. Just Magick 101 stuff.

 

LOVE KEEPS ME DANCING by Third World comes on the radio.

 

MERI (to Diva) Cool song, let's dance.

 

 

DIVA (smiling and thinking) We're also entertainers because all of us can dance really well. Ever notice how everyone likes to

watch us dance? You're a trained dancer because you're a gymnast and Speedy is also a trained dancer. (Meri looks at Speedy

with questioning eyes). Speedy is the only boy to graduate from the soul dancing school that used to be in Alkmaar.

 

MERI (eyebrows raise) Really? (Speedy shrugs) That explains why he dances so well. How did you learn? You dance better

than all of us.

 

DIVA I dance from my spirit.

 

CAMERA SLOWLY ZOOMS OUT TO WATCH ALL THREE DANCE IN THE LITTLE LIVING ROOM OF THE

LITTLE DUTCH HOUSE.

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME SITTING AT TABLE. THEY ARE TALKING, BUT IT IS INAUDIBLE,

UNDER THE SOUND OF MUSIC PLAYING. ALL OF THE SUDDEN, THE ROOM FILLS WITH A THUMP-THUMP

SOUND AND THE AFRICAN MASK ON THE WALL STARTS TO SHAKE. SPEEDY, MERI AND ME LOOK AT

EACH OTHER AND START TO LAUGH.

 

DIVASounds like the neighbors are getting one more lekker nokken in before the New Year.

 

MERI (rolling her big cat eyes, afterwards says to Speedy) You mean you've lived here over two years and you've never seen

those people?

 

SPDY(shaking head) Nee, I told you, they enter their house on the other street.

 

DIVAI wonder what they look like? I wonder what they're doing that could create so much noise and energy. Do you think they

have orgies next door?

 

MERIWho cares? (Rolling her eyes) They're getting more than some people around here. ( Wishfully) I'm going to have to

find me a woman soon. . .

 

 

SONG 'AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME' BY BACKSTREET BOYS COMES ON. MERI GETS UP TO CHANGE IT.

 

DIVA Leave it! I like this song!

 

SPDY It's for teenagers . . .

 

DIVASo what, I like it. I once wrote a story about a magickal lover and it ended with this song. (Looks at Speedy and Meri)

Besides, we're teenagers here. Speedy always tells me that life begins at 40 and I he's right.

 

DISSOLVE TO DANCING ELVIS CLOCK ON WALL. IT SAYS '11:45'. SEVERAL LOUD FIREWORK NOISES ARE

HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND.

 

THREE-SHOT OF SPEEDY, MERI AND ME SITTING IN THE LIVING ROOM.

THE NOISE OF FIREWORKS GET LOUDER, SPEEDY AND MERI LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND SMILE.

 

SPDY (to Diva) Now it's time to show you what Meri and I were talking about. Get your coat! Let's go outside. (Diva gets coat

and starts walking towards the door)

 

SPDYNo! Let's go upstairs, on top of the flat roof. (Speedy and Meri have coats on, Speedy is carr ying a portable boombox,

everyone's got a beer).

 

CAMERA FOLLOWS THE THREE UPSTAIRS AND OUT THE DOOR AT THE END OF THE HALL THAT LEADS

TO A OPEN PORCH ON TOP OF THE ROOF.

 

DIVA (narrating) I knew that we were going to see fireworks, but I never expected to see what I saw next . . .

 

THE THREE WALK OUT ON THE ROOF AND THE SKY IS FULL OF COLOR AGAINST A WHITE SKY FROM

SMOKE.

 

DIVA (narrating) It was the most fantastic fireworks display I ever saw.

Everyone in the neighborhood was shooting off rockets and fireworks. It was spontaneous and unorganized and it was one of

the most beautiful things I ever saw.

 

ALL KINDS OF SHOTS OF FIREWORKS.

 

DIVA (narrating) They sky was like that all night. I felt that I was in a magickal dream as I watched with wonder. Yes, it really

was the best New Years I ever had.

 

MORE SHOTS OF FIREWORKS. DISSOLVE TO NEXT SCENE.

 

 

 

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