Speedy, Meri & Me Martha Rose Crow

ACT 2: WHERE IS HOLLAND?

FADE IN:

DIVA DIALS A NUMBER ON A PHONE IN HER HOME IN AMERICA.

 

SCREEN SPLITS IN TWO, DIVA ON LEFT, MOTHER ON RIGHT. MID-SHOT. MOTHER IS 65 YEARS OLD,

WEARS A DRESS AND HER HAIR IS IN A BUN ON HER HEAD. A BIG GOLD CRUCIFIX HANGS ON HER NECK

AND A BIG WOODEN ONE HANGS ON THE WALL BEHIND HER. MOTHER PICKS UP THE RINGING PHONE.

THEY TALK AS DIVA CONTINUES TO NARRATE.

 

DIVA (narrating) When I told my mother in Texas that I was leaving my husband and going to the Netherlands, the first thing she asked

was

 

CLOSEUP OF MOTHER TALKING INTO PHONE

 

MOM Where is The Netherlands? Somewhere back east?

 

DIVA When I told her that it was Holland she said

 

MOMThat's by Russia! The people in Russia are starving. I saw it on the Christian Television Channel. The people in Holland

are so poor that they have to wear wooden shoes! They can't even afford regular shoes. You're going to starve and wear wooden

shoes. (Stops for a moment). Wait! I know what country you're talking about. (Grabs Bible beside her and clutches it to her

chest. Face fills with belief as she begins to preach like a hell and damnation preacher). I know what country you're talking

about now. It's that heathen, godless, secular humanist, socialist, satanic country where they have brick streets and everyone l ives

in old brick houses by windmills.

 

DIVA Mom, it's a modern country, probably more modern than this one.

 

MOM(holding her Bible upward in the air) Everyone in America knows how they live over there.

 

DIVA Oh, and how is that?

 

MOMEveryone in America knows that all Dutch people do in Holland is party naked streets with a beer in one hand and a

marijuana cigarette in the other, while they dance in their wooden shoes.

 

CUT TO SCENE A STREET WITH OLD DUTCH BRICK HOUSES WITH WINDMILLS IN THE BACKGROUND.

STREET IS FULL OF NAKED PEOPLE PARTYING IN WOODEN SHOES.

 

CUT TO SPLIT SCREEN OF DIVA AND MOM.

 

DIVA (tries to muffle her laughing) Sure, Mom. And how do they party naked in the streets during winter?

 

MOM They wear hats!

 

CUT TO SCENE A STREET WITH OLD DUTCH BRICK HOUSES WITH WINDMILLS IN THE BACKGROUND.

STREET IS MORE FULL OF NAKED PEOPLE PARTYING IN WOODEN SHOES AND THIS TIME THEY ARE

WEARING HATS. DUTCH BOY HATS FOR THE MEN AND WHITE TRADITIONAL HATS FOR THE WOMEN.

 

CUT BACK TO SPLIT SCREEN OF DIVA AND MOM.

 

MOMYou need to come to Texas and live with me so I can show you the Lord. You can come to church with me four times a

week! You need Jesus to save you. All you have to do is give yourself to Him and He will save you.

 

DIVA That plan didn't work for me. I think I'll stick with my plans to go to Holland.

 

MOM(beginning to preach) No, No! The Lord is the Only Way. You are going to go to hell if you go to Holland! Satan wants

to take your soul and that's why he is leading you there! (Shaking with conviction) Why do you want to go a Sodom that God is

going to judge and bring his wrath upon?

 

DIVA We're from there. Its our "Old Country."

 

MOM (face reveals horror that a family secret has been revealed) How do you know?

 

DIVAGrandpa told me before he died. He wrote it in his last letter. I have it somewhere around here.

 

MOM (worried) You didn't tell anyone, did you?

 

DIVA No, nobody ever asked. I'm just a white American to most people.

 

MOM(anxious to get rid of Diva so she won't tell anyone they're Dutch) Maybe you should go there, then. At least you won't

have to worry about clothes and I hear those wooden shoes are warm in the winter. (Pauses for a moment and changes mind)

But you're going to go to hell if you go there.

 

DIVAI'm already in hell, so I'll just be moving to a better one. (Smiles) Maybe I'll even have some fun there.

 

MOM(outraged and enraged) You're gonna burn for this! Satan has got your mind and soon he will own your soul! (Preaching

and shaking) I have the Holy Book in my hand and it says . . .

 

DIVA (shaking her head in disgust) What did you say? I can barely hear you (holds phone away from her and hears her mother

preaching loudly on the other end). I think we have a bad connection . . . What, what did you say? Are you there?

 

CAMERA CUTS TO BLACK WHEN DIVA HANGS UP THE PHONE.

 

 

  

 

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