Where paradise turns to hell
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Los Angeles already has its hook on me
I don’t want to fall in love again!
Permanent Summer with Palm Trees and Canyons
My Great Shitting and Peeing Period
I can
kiss my career in politics goodbye
Why have I not thought of that first?
Whatever it is you couldn’t stand about me
My new big venture will destroy everything
How and why has this reached me?
Can I be even more metaphysical than that?
Los Angeles does not really exist
One billion
deaths is not enough for me
Private Equity, our New Religion
We may still save humanity in America
Hail to the bugs, the true leaders of this world
Do I have to be completely off my mind?
I must be drunk to provoke you like that
I came to Los Angeles to
become a positive force
Beyond that Californian Mountain
I want
to be a Damn Modern Californian Hippy!
Study your
symbolism, for god’s sake!
You tried to get me sacked, this is War
The
World is filled with Backstabbers
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, I’ve been told to stop talking about
my sexuality
Drinking yourself to death in L.A.
They’ve
been testing me, like a rat!
Oh my God! How will I survive this?
I finally
went to Disney Land, Heek!
Got to get
back to some sense of normality
It always
comes back to that, isn’t it?
Feeling orgasmic about… another project
500,000 people in New Orleans need mental health services
The
Decline of the Gay American Empire
Tomorrow will be such a great day all over L.A.!
I can
get away with murder, remember that
One more day in the Bible Belt, and I might have to shoot
you all
Desperate for a gun in America
The Mormon’s
Disney Land in Utah
What Salt
Lake City has got to offer
Let me
buy you out just to shut you up
Just
continue to follow the trends
Compensating for being Extra Fat
I’ve survived
another suicide attempt
I cannot be trusted, I will fail every time
Another legal action against me
Desperately
Seeking Pubic Lice Lotion in L.A.
You must think I’m an old pervert
Notice of Resignation, The Perfect Sample Letter
Whatever your achievements, it will always be useless
Living
beyond everyone’s expectations
Do we need
to alienate the whole world?
I have lived! And now I can die…
I am lost
Took a wrong turn at some point
And now I have been shipped to
Without my will
Without being aware
Just followed destiny
The path all laid out for me
Destiny must be wrong
I don’t feel right
I belong to
I belong to
Oh my King, will you ever forgive me
For abandoning you like this
Sacrificing everything for something I
don’t believe in
Seemed so attractive at the time
Seemed so promising and filled with opportunities
Which have not materialized
Perhaps it is because I have done nothing
since I am here
I have not tried to connect to anyone
I am so tired
Just thinking about doing anything is a
killer
I just want to go to bed and sleep forever
I have no more dreams
No more goals
I am as good as dead
Killed my last hope
You can have all the talent in the world
You can have all the potential that you
will ever need
You can be driven to madness with your work
And write and write and write until you
drop dead
You can have produced everything there is
under the sun
You can have done it all and then done it
all again
And yet, you are not going anywhere anytime
soon
You can move closer to the buzz
You can be right in the middle of it all
Where it is all happening
And yet, nothing is happening
Nothing will ever happen
You are stuck on this planet forever
With nowhere to go
Nothing to hope for
Disillusioned by what life has to offer
For your happiness at least
The void, the big large void
You have never existed
You will never exist
Thirty years completely wasted
Where would I be today
Without those stupid dreams
That drove me to insanity?
Not in
What was I thinking?
I must be mad
How can I correct my mistake?
How can I go back in time
And stop this from ever happening
How can I just erase those last few months
How can I change my life for the better?
Is there not a quick guide
An instruction book somewhere?
To make everything easier
To prevent you from destroying your life
And the life of others who love you?
I am in a Black Hole
The biggest of all
At the end of the funnel
I’ll be crushed
I think I’ve reached that point
There is no going back
No one escapes Black Holes
You would have thought I would have seen it
coming
You would have thought I would have found a
way out
Dreams make you blind
Dreams bring your downfall
I will have to pay for my mistakes
I will never go anywhere
Ever again
I told myself
No more will I think of suicide
No more will I be so depressed
I need some positivism in my life
It is all psychological anyway
I just have to change my attitude towards
life
I was going to become alive
Under the great Californian sun
I was going to grow
Be more mature
Finally become an adult
Take my responsibilities
Sort myself out
You don’t change
You can move
You can forget your past
You can re-organize your life
You never change
At least I am not suicidal anymore
It is all psychological anyway
I do not let these thoughts come alive
I no longer drink myself to death
And let the devil in
Temptation, temptation, temptation
The little devil is coming back in
I can’t stop him
I’ll have to become suicidal again
I have not found what I was looking for in
A few palm trees out of my window
A Californian driving license
A tour of all the studios in
Just won’t do the trick
I don’t belong to this world
Even if I were to belong
I cannot belong in just a small capacity
That’s not me, that’s not what I want
I don’t want to be a name in the final
generic
I want to be central to my revolution
I want to create the biggest revolution
ever
I want to have such an impact
It will shake the planet
Oh, now I understand what my problem is
Of course there’s no solution
To my insatiable thirst for power
I want to be a force of nature
Who could ever be a force of nature?
I could not, it is impossible
Anyway
I’m afraid
Palm trees
Just won’t do
Work tomorrow
I would do anything not to go
I’ve got to work on my other projects
tonight
I would do anything not to
I’ve got some dreams to make come true
I would do anything to just forget about it
all
I wish I was a bum
With no jobs
With no aspirations
Without a dream
So simple life could have been
Just be a bum
Don’t worry about anything
No more stupid ideas
No more obligations
No more anything
Just live your day to day bum’s life
What a wonderful concept!
Instead of being a corporate drone
Instead of being an industry whore
Instead of being a bitch and be control by
bitches
Just be a bum!
Save yourself the trouble
No more work ever!
No more responsibilities ever!
No more goals to achieve, ever!
Just go back where you came from
And just die there on some social
securities
Or just make your bed somewhere on a lost
street
Or in a park in the woods
Eat from the garbage cans
Or find some eatable roots or something
Or just let yourself die in the gutter
Perfect for me
That’s what I’ll do next
Let me work on it
Let me reorganize my schedule to make it
come true
Let me start dreaming about it
It is my next big goal in life
I’ll become a bum
Your first rate bum
And I’ll be the happiest bum alive
Without the faculty of thinking
How I wish I was a bum…
I’m afraid to admit it
I don’t want to realize it
Dear, dear, dear
I would not be able to live without it
And yet, I am already in love with
What am I gonna do?
I cannot have a home in both places
Though I think this is what I will have to
do
Six months here, six months there
No other solutions
I now have two lovers
Too much love that I can deal with
Extraordinary how one little trip downtown
can do to you
When you feel you are right in the center
of the universe
There is nothing beyond
Anyone of any importance is here
No ideas go anywhere if it does not first
go through
It is so well concentrated in the same area
I wonder why terrorists never thought of
launching an attack
It is where the real power is
Can I be so easily impressed?
Am I such a loser?
Weak
Impressionable
I have not learned anything, have I?
I won’t leave this place
Better work at bringing my other lover here
Let’s work it out somehow
I’m not going back
And I don’t like it
And I thought I could never fall in love
again
I
don’t want to fall in love again!
I am guilty!
I have betrayed everything that I loved!
I secretly wanted it so badly
And now that it has happened
I can’t stand it!
It is tearing me apart!
I don’t want to fall in love again!
God please help me
Make sense of it all
What is it that I fell in love with?
Is it just an idea, a concept?
Is it more profound than that?
This history of places, of people, of deaths?
Somewhere in
Having
Losing myself in the dunes, the sun, the
infinite…
Is this what I fell in love with? Tell me
Is there a cure?
Was I allowed to see too much?
Was it too soon?
Was I ready to fall in love again?
I don’t think so
Now it has happened
I have to deal with it
I have to
Somehow
I was already in love with the greatest
cutest little thing
It was called
It was my playing field
And believe me I played hard there
I am crying again, and again, and again
Everything there is to cry
The most beautiful thing ever
So sweet and so much in love with me
How could I ever trade you for anything
else?
I could never
I would prefer to die
The floodgate is opened
The tornadoes are raging
The earthquakes are comin’
I am at the dawn of a new life
I can see it emerging in front of my eyes
It is huge
It is powerful
It is far reaching
It is all I have ever hoped for
The price to pay might just be too much
It is too late now
I’m already in love
Again
Permanent Summer with Palm Trees and
Canyons
What is there not to love in the
It is always sunny
From whatever direction you look at
Sure enough you will see
Palm Trees
Mountains
Clean sidewalks
Little white houses
Purity to infinity
Innocence of a world
That has nothing to do with
My universe is of a bright white
Immaculate
Puts all your thoughts in order
Of a tranquility not found in
Suburbs of
With canyons in every directions
Huge rock face with weird flowers and cacti
After it is
Miles of sand with blue water
The Californian coast a few miles away
The heat of the sun keeps my balcony floor
warm at night
And when it rains, it is a nice little rain
My simple little life
Without any worry whatsoever
It could easily be
If I would let it be
I can tell the time by where the sun or the
moon is in the sky
Right over my head, it is noon or midnight
The shadow of the trees can also tell me
Where I am
What I am thinking
Inspiration for a lifetime
The kind of surge I get only years later
Once I have lost it all
I could never come back
It would never be the same anyway
These magical moments only exist at that
very second
After that it is gone forever
And you have to go for the adventure
To find new inspirations
If ever you can find such moments again
I am about to lose it all
I can feel it
Got to cherish those moments while they
last
They won’t last much longer
It could never be the same
It’s great when you don’t have to wait
Until you have lost it
To understand
That peaceful existence
Of a perfect moment in time
Bitch
I can’t believe you called me a pussy
When your own definition of a man being a
pussy
Is a man that acts like a woman
So you are a pussy then
And that is acceptable by your definition
Because you are a woman
And all women by your definition
Are pussies
Great!
I want to be a pussy too
And it is my right
It is not reserved for bitches like you
I won’t act the man thing for you
I won’t do what I’m supposed to do
I won’t be what society tells me to be
So if I want to be a pussy like you
I will
And you better get use to it
Bitch
I will be as pussy as I always wanted to be
As deep as I feel it necessary to be
It is not a woman thing
It is my thing
I’m pussy!
And I love it!
You bitch!
So maybe you will now have to take the
strong role
Be manly for a change
Call me after 48 hours following our first
date, why not?
You are strong
You are the woman
You’re in control now
Over the pussies that we have become
I don’t care if I have to carry that baby
Change the nappies
Stay home and enjoy life while you go to
work
And suffer those bastards
I don’t mind at all
Bitch
Be strong for a change
You’ve always worn the trousers anyway
You have always been dictating around here,
haven’t you?
Well, you might as well be called the man
of the house then
So I can be a pussy all I like
Bitch
You will never have that excuse again
You will never be a pussy in my eyes ever
again
You are stronger than I am
So start acting like it
Start acting like a man!
Like the man you are!
Don’t be a pussy anymore
And let me be a pussy for a while
And you’ll see
It will change the world
I’m a pussy!
And I’m proud of it!
And it will change the world!
My Great Shitting and Peeing Period
I don’t know about you
But when I go to the toilets
I first have a shitting period
Then I have a peeing period
And then it is all over and I feel good
again
I feel much better now
That I have shat that here
I bet these few lines have disturbed you a
bit
I guess you probably don’t feel great naked
then
Fully feeling sexual and ready to fuck all
night long
Feeling great in your own skin
That needs feeding and drinking
Taking care of
Before the wrinkles of old age
Make you ugly and disgusting
You easily forget these wonderful
Shitting and peeing periods
And then it is over
And you can feel great again
You easily forget you even shit and pee
sometimes
You are so perfect, aren’t ya?
Pure and innocent!
Must be disturbing when we think of you as on
the toilets
Having a great shit
It comes out of you, you know
It is you
It is one of the processes that make you a
human being
And that is all we are
Shitting and peeing people on the toilets
Feeling bad all the time
Until we satisfy these most basic processes
That define who we are as a species
Well, I am not hypocrite
I go to the bog
I shit and I pee and I feel better
afterwards
I am a naked person
I feel great in my skin
I feel sexual all night long
I do not deny who I am
I have no taboo like you
And hence
I have no deep psychological problem either
Stopping every great project in its track
I am getting somewhere
You are not
Because you cannot accept the fact
That you shit and pee and are sexual beings
Like every other person on the planet
And that is what defines
You
Scandalizing you?
Impossible…
God
I don’t know what to invent anymore
To scandalize you
You are made of steel
Nothing has reached you so far
How many of these texts have I written in
the last ten years?
I’ve lost count
And yet, you are still here reading this
Or are you?
Maybe why you are not scandalized yet
Is that you never read me before now
That would explain everything
And I’m still there trying
To be more extreme
Since the first time it obviously did not
work
Without understanding
That it will one day
Beyond any hope
Just need a big publicity machine
I will be branded
As the most scandalizing author ever
Without even having mentioned once the word
Pedophile
You’ve got to give me credit for that
Sometimes I think it might be the only
thing
That could really scandalize you
I won’t say it
Don’t worry
No need to go to prison just yet
Pedophile, pedophile, pedophile…
I’m just flirting with you
I am having you going there
For a while
I’m laughing at you
I’m not laughing with you
That’s for sure
I thought it was easy to scandalize you
I now understand that it is impossible
My years of writing
Have been in vain
Somehow describing to you
Me having sex with a little boy
Would not scandalize you either
It will just bring me to prison
If I can admit that I desire that
After saying this
Surely I am it
I am a pedophile
Yet you would have a hard time proving it
Do you need proof?
Perhaps not
Oh well
Let’s go to prison then
To protect your children
Against monsters like me
Fuck you!
I never had any desire for your children
They can all die peacefully in their bed
tonight
I don’t give a toss
Yeah, I guess I could be blamed
For wishing their early death
And somehow
That must feel nicer to your ears
Than if I wanted to have sex with them
So be it
I would settle for the eradication
Of all children
That’s a nice compromise
No more winging ever!
Oh my god!
What a paradise!
Perhaps we should also include all old
people
I would not mind eradicating them as well
They serve no purpose
They smell bad and are annoying with their
long gone memories
And their pension is just a drain on my
taxes
They think they know everything
They don’t even know how the computer works
Let alone DVD recorders
They know shit
And we are supposed to trust them?
No way!
Kill them all!
Are you scandalized now?
No?
Damn!
It is getting harder and harder…
I can kiss my career in politics
goodbye
I was so looking forward to it
I wanted to be Governor of California
And from there jump higher
And be second in command
Until they change the law
And take full power
I was so looking forward to it!
I had it all planned in my head
Take over
And then the world!
My motivations after all
Are the same as the actual President
I want to be rich
I want to be powerful
I want to kill everyone else
And steal their natural resources and money
You cannot deny that this is what we have
been doing for centuries now
So as I am just a normal person
There is nothing that should prevent me
from becoming President
Oops!
I was not supposed to admit to it?
I was just supposed to do it
Having all these journalists denouncing it
But yet never confirm it?
And then it would be acceptable?
Silly me
I guess I can kiss my career in politics
goodbye
Why have I not thought of that first?
So many great ideas out there
Genius lurking in every corner
More imagination than the ocean has water
It is all there for me to grab
To hear, to watch, to eat
Oh oh
Burp!
Indigestion… heart burns…
Need a Zantac again
Why have I not thought of that?
I’m supposed to be the genius here
To have written every single book
On every single subject
And yet!
That escaped me!
I did not think of it first
It is a killer
So many great ideas out there
So much imagination
Cool, perfect, genius
Why, oh why, oh why?
Have I not thought of it first?
Is it that killing job I have?
No time to think anymore?
No more inspiration?
Quick quick…
I need to come up with something
Some genius thought
I need to think of that one first
I need to think of the next great idea
There are still plenty out there
Not everything has already been thought of
I can still claim being a genius
I hope I am not too late
I hope I will find the investors to get it
out there
The marketing and PR machine to prove
That I thought of it first
And then collect my pay check
But what about everything else out there?
That I have not thought of?
I guess you were mistaken
That’s no great idea
That’s not imagination
That’s no genius
It’s nothing
Anyway
I thought of it first
Otherwise, it just does not exist
It puts me to sleep
Yawn!
Oh god, oh god, oh god…
It is not true
Where was I when they thought of that?
Dead or dying, surely
So many great ideas out there
Why have I not thought of it?
A sea of great ideas remain to be uncovered
I’ll get right on it
You can be sure
That from now on
I’ll be the one to think of that first
Whatever it is you couldn’t stand about
me
Is it the packaging?
I know, pretty cheap, got no money
But you are rich I hear?
The sell by date?
I’ve long passed my sell by date
But never mind
You are rotten to the core
My frontal bar code?
Well, I’m sure it would not work with your
mind reader
Is it my third eye?
My big mouth?
My bad teeth?
Do I have bad breath?
Oh, must be my brain
I was born deformed, I know
Compared to your perfection, that is
Is it my personality?
When I did not laugh at your boring jokes?
They put me to sleep, dear
Sorry
Is it because I’m always drunk?
Well, feel yourself lucky
To do what you ask of me
I would need to be drugged to full capacity
at all time
What is it?
Tell me! Tell me!
My lack of enthusiasm when you wanted to
enslave me?
I was sick that day
You make me sick, dear
Just for being you
Maybe this is what you could not stand
about me
That I could not stand you in the first
place
She is legendary
She is powerful
Intelligent
My imaginary girlfriend
She wants sex all the time
She begs for more
She wants to be fucked up the arse
My imaginary girlfriend
She’s filthy rich
More successful than Madonna
And pure of heart
My imaginary girlfriend
I can depend on her
I love her and she truly loves me
She even knows how to shut up
My imaginary girlfriend
She does not smoke
She does not drink
She’s certainly not a drug addict
My imaginary girlfriend
She’s not a bitch
She’s not killing me
She does not need to be shot in the head
My imaginary girlfriend
Just as well
Being so unremarkable
That my imaginary girlfriend
Is just imaginary
He remains unknown
He is weak
Dyslexic
My real boyfriend
He never wants sex
I have to beg for more
He does not want to be fucked up the arse
My real boyfriend
He’s disgustingly poor
As successful as an escargot
As dirty at heart as a worm
My real boyfriend
I cannot depend on him
I love him and he truly loves me
But he does not know how to shut up
My real boyfriend
He does smoke
He does drink
He is a drug addict
My real boyfriend
He’s a bitch
He’s killing me
He does need to be shot in the head
My real boyfriend
Just my luck
Being so remarkable
My real boyfriend
Is not imaginary
You can rape me
Violate me all you want
Shoot me in the head afterwards
I’m so beyond caring
Make me your slave
Ask me to suck your dick
Suck your brain
I’m so beyond caring
Tell me all your bullshit, I can take it
Only need to drink myself to death
afterwards
To forget that…
I’m so beyond caring
Walk all over me!
Destroy me!
Kill me!
I’m so beyond caring!
What is worse that you could ask from me?
You will think of something
I’m sure
I’m so beyond caring
One day I’ll put a stop to this
One day I’ll be the one dictating
One day I will kill you where you stand
One day…
I won’t be beyond caring
My new big venture will destroy
everything
Another big crazy idea
Just have to pursue it
Until it drains all my energy
And destroy just about
Everything else that is still standing in
my life
My new big venture!
It will revolutionize everything
Once again
Never mind that none of my other big
ventures
Never went anywhere
This time I will hit it big
It will be huge
It will change everything
By destroying
Just about
Everything else
Still standing
In my life…
I won’t stop now!
I have another big venture idea
That will change everyone’s life
For the worst
It is in the nature
Of every new big venture
Just have to be crazy enough
To sacrifice everything
Once again
For just any
New great big venture
Maybe
Just Maybe
One day
It will revolutionize everything
How and why has this reached me?
Is it possible that I am not wasting my
time?
Is it just possible that I am reaching out
To at least one of you?
Years and years
Of working so hard
To accomplish that great destiny
That I thought I was building for myself
Could it be all wasted?
Really?
How and why has this reached me then?
I bought it
I played it
It made my life more bearable for a moment
Might even had a bigger impact
My escape from reality
My dream world
Someone thought of it
Got it started
Managed to get a team around it
They all made a difference
To my l
It is now a little bit more bearable
It has reached me!
It had an impact!
It was an idea someone had
Not even a good one
By my standards
And yet
It helped me escaped my life
It means something
It means everything to me
I cannot think
For one moment
That I am wasting my time
Wasting my life
I am building something
That could potentially reach
A few of you out there
And then you can ask
How and why has this reached you?
You’ve got to let me know
If it has helped you
Escape your life
Your mental disorder
Your hell of an existence
You have to suffer every day
Then I’ll know
That it is no coincidence
Everything exists for a purpose
Every life there is
Who contributes
To alleviate my pain
Deserves to exist
You worked on this
Which had a big impact on my life
It has reached me
It meant something for a while
It was the perfect moment in time
For me to receive it
I’m grateful
And I know now
That I’m not wasting my time
Creativity serves a purpose
No matter how small a part
You play in it
For it to come to life
This has not reached me by accident
This has not reached you by accident
I’m told
I’m closer than ever
Of achieving all that I have been working for
In the last two decades
Somehow I can’t believe it
Somehow I feel it is just not true
I’ve been disappointed before
I’ve been deceived before
This time around
Is no different
How could it be?
Just because I am now living in
What are you talking about?
It makes no difference
Not to me anyway
Not to anyone else anyway
I’m not closer than ever
To achieving my dreams
If anything
I am now completely disillusioned
It won’t happen
Perhaps I lack the determination
Maybe I lack the strength
I don’t know
I’m ready to let it all die
Quietly
As if it had never existed
My achievements
My future ones as well
All dead
I’m just too tired
To even think about it
I have already accepted my failure
I’m ready to go back
To wherever it is that I come from
If one can tell me
I just forgot
Through all my endeavors
Where it is that I come from
It must not have been anywhere
Of any real significance
Or else, I would remember
Where it is that I come from
I guess that
When you reach
Nothing that came before
Still exists
I am a nobody
From nowhere
Never did anything worthwhile
And I will die as such
As quickly as possible
Would be fine by me
I’m closer than ever
Somehow just
Does not ring true
Sorry
Can I be even more metaphysical than
that?
Do you have any clue
About what it is that
I’m talking about here?
No?
That’s what I thought
Don’t worry
I have no intention
To let you know
About what it is that
I am talking about here
The more in the dark you remain
The better it is for me
If I were to tell you everything
There would be no more mystery
You would quickly say
That my life is just as identical
As yours
When really
How could it be?
You are such a loser
I’m not a loser
You’re such a wimp
I’m not a wimp
You’re so hypocrite
I’m no hypocrite
You don’t deserve to live
I don’t either
But let’s not go there
Can I be even more metaphysical than that?
Oh yes I can
As metaphysical
As it is necessary
For you
To have no clue
About what it is that I am talking about
here
What purpose would it serve anyway?
For you to be able to criticize
Destroy me in a few sentences
I don’t need that
Better be cryptic
Pretend that I am talking to God himself
About eternal stuff
The stuff that causes wars
You know what I mean
Or perhaps you don’t
Sorry
For being too metaphysical
For your poor mind
Trying to keep up
With what I’m not trying to say here
There are green fields somewhere around
here
I have noticed them before
One morning that I was desperate
For anything
To connect me
To ancient dreams I had years ago
A beach!
A long one
No deepness
Three of my cats
I dreamt about last night
Made my cry this morning
While waiting at the light
Being so disconnected with reality
My dreams
Are all that I have left
To remember my life
My past life
The one I’m crying for every day
I miss it more than I can express here
That it has to come to me in weird dreams
Green fields have been replaced
By water and castles
And my cats playing around
While I don’t pay attention
When I could take them in my arms instead
Crying
And telling them how much I love them
How much I miss them
And I know they miss me
That’s why they come to me in dreams
And yet
Even there
I take them for granted
I do not realize that it is my chance
To take them in my arms
Kiss them and tell them
How much I love them
How much I miss them
And the poor souls
Are trying to make me understand
To get my attention
It’s like I am dead
Incapable to love them as I should
I’m so selfish
I can only think of myself
Even in dreams
They are so innocent
And yet they love me
They are capable of telepathy
And all they can communicate
Is their normal cat behavior
Which is not enough to attract my attention
In my dreams
I just felt it was normal to have them
there
Running all around me
But now that I am awake
I feel I missed a great opportunity
To squeeze them in my arms
To express my infinite love for them
Which transcends any distance
Across the oceans of the world
How weird that I can love cats
More than I ever loved any human beings
This is true love
The kind I never thought existed
Because it is so pure
It is so unconditional
They must be the only things on this planet
Who would love me no matter what
Because they will never rationalize
anything
That kind of love
Can only be reciprocated
And it is simply killing me…
All right, I feel better now
I’ve plugged myself into
Type O Negative
Just the fix I needed
To get back to normal
It’s not working
No Kleenex is resistant enough
In
To contain my crisis
Nothing I ever wrote before
Makes me cry like I am now
When I read these lines again
Is it only powerful to me?
A castle over water
Tubes to get there
A view to kill for
Over the horizon
Over the ocean
And cats running on water
And tears to fill an ocean
Which I cannot explain
Is that metaphysical enough for you?
Probably not
Good, because I was not trying to be
metaphysical
My
I am disconnected
I don’t live here anymore
I live somewhere else
A perfect world
An island
A perfect one
How can I describe it?
A palace
Heights
Flying machines
A Sun
A Moon
Symbols
Problems
Which are not mine
Only beauty for me to see
To enjoy
To live through
Seeing trees
Landscapes
Other islands
The rain through the forest
An imagined history
Pure creation
Beyond any dreams
I feel it so deeply
I live there all the time
I cannot leave this place
I love this place
Such perfection
That I could never reach
In the real world
My virtual world
It has become so important
So central to my life
To my survival
How can it be?
It is virtual
It is just a dream
And yet it is so powerful
I don’t live here anymore
I guess I never did
I was always more there
Than I have ever been here
I am so confused
Did I ever exist?
Has this reality ever existed?
I’m not sure
I think I imagined it all
The real world is that island
Which I always come back to
I don’t know where I would be right now
If I never went there
I would not be where I am now
I’m sure of it
I’m so lost
I’m not sure if I really exist
I feel I can almost understand
That this is not real
My life
It cannot be
I am now on my island
In real life
It makes no sense to me
I am even rejecting it
It seems
It is only good in my dreams
Only acceptable as long as it is
unreachable
It makes no sense
Tonight I’m not here
I’m out there
I’m on my island
I feel so good
I feel warm
I feel beauty passing through myself
I am that universe
It is all me
I am one with my world
With the world
And for once
It makes sense to me
I don’t exist here
I only exist there
That’s where I have always been
More there than here
It has become my reality
The only place I can really exist
Where I can feel good about being alive
At least I have that
Not sure if anyone else has that chance
I don’t care
I realized tonight
That I have always been living
In another world
And I am pleased that I finally accepted it
Reality is something of the past
Something that never really existed
For me
There is only one place to evolve in
To contemplate
To enjoy life
My island
For the first time in my life
I am convinced that my life is not real
I can feel it
It is a joke
And I’m wondering
Why it made me suffer so much
When really it was never there in the first
place
You would think that after suffering so
much
I decided to create myself a dream world
Freud would destroy my argument in a second
But I think he missed the point
I have reached another understanding
One that he could never reach
I understand that the world is not real
It is an invention
A creation of some sort
A testing ground perhaps
But no more than that
It is no more real than my dreams
My dreams are more real now
I stand somewhere over all of this
No matter all the problems it sent my way
I just cannot believe it
I don’t buy it
It is all fake
Life is much simpler
Life is simple
And it is not what it seems
It is something else
I can see it so clearly now
Every tree, every bush
Have been placed there
For some reason
But it is a desert
It should be a desert
It should be emptiness
It is emptiness
It does not belong there
Nothing belongs anywhere
It was placed there for us
To act like if it was a real world
It is obvious to me
That it never was
And only here can I see it so clearly
It is all an illusion!
An elaborate scam!
The world does not exist!
Why do you still suffer?
There is no reason to
It was created for you to pretend
To be alive and kicking
When really
You cannot be
Nothing belongs here
You do not belong here
I don’t belong here
It is all someone else’s creation
And I refuse to be part of it
It is not mine
I have nothing to do with that obvious fake
creation
This virtual world
I want to live in the real world
The world I have not been told about
Which oversees all of this so-called
reality
I am now aware
I can feel it
I will reach the real world
I will
One billion deaths is not enough
for me
One million deaths is not enough to get me
rich
A billion would make it worthwhile
If I get a dollar for each life, that is
The true value of life on this planet
One big American dollar
It will cost the rest of the people
billions of dollars in warlike stuff
That is of no consequence to me
As long as I get my billion dollars
In return for a billion deaths
That I directly or indirectly cause
In God we trust
And don’t you forget it
Next time I drop a bomb on your head
Private Equity, our New Religion
Talk about something still worth believing
in
When just about everything else failed so
miserably
There is still a God on this planet
The only one worth believing in
It is called Private Equity
My new best friend
My new religion
Capable of pumping billions of dollars
In any worthless idea
And still bring me back billions of dollars
in return
Ohhhh, I just had an orgasm
Ahhhhh, and another one
It feels soooo good
How was I ever able to believe in any other
God before
Is the greatest of mystery
There is only one God
We all knew that
And it has finally emerged
From a world we thought was doomed
After the collapse of the Stock Exchange
market
Private Equity
Dear me
Smells so good
Tastes so good
Must be too good to be true
And yet
Nothing else on the planet
Causes so many multiple orgasms at once
No drug even comes close to Private Equity
Mmmmh, feels wonderful
I feel loooove
Real loooove
Money, money, money
That’s all I want
That’s all I get
Private Equity
My new best friend
Better than
Better than sex
My only love
Private Equity
Am I talking some sort of alien language
here?
If you think so
Then you must ultimately be
Why I love Private Equity so much
You are the end user that will make me
billions of dollars
No need for you to understand anything
about it
Just continue to do what it is that you do
best
Consume my friend
So Private Equity will still mean something
to me
Something that will save
From collapsing on itself
Funny how we always find a way out
To justify pure capitalism
To save pure capitalism
Think big!
And thank God!
For Private Equity
Our only savior
Our only God
We may still save humanity in America
Don’t lie
You have always known it
All we need is not love
All we need is money
Money is everything
It feeds your wonderful children
It saves your marriage
Which was doomed from the start anyway
It is the only thing by which you can
valorize yourself
How much are you worth?
Do you deserve to be alive?
Has your life any kind of meaning?
Only through money can we assess your
worthiness
To be alive
Money is the only thing that can bring you
to freedom
Really help you escape your miserable
existence
What we call reality
Money is the dream come true
The only dream you ever had
The only answer to all your hopes
Don’t deny it
Money is everything to you
You can never have too much
You can never feel guilty for rolling all
over it
Money is the only way to happiness
Trying to convince anyone of the opposite
Can only come from people
Who have accepted their true lack of
potential in getting it
Their unworthiness to being part of this
society
That we have painfully built for ourselves
For centuries now
Money is everything
Money is all there is
Money is your only salvation
It changes everything
It saves everything
It is the basis of all your values
Protecting your family
That little nuclear family
So ready to explode
As soon as money runs out
Say it after me
Money is everything!
Money is all I need!
Money is my only escape!
Get it
At any cost, any sacrifice
Life demands it
Your family demands it
Your existence, your values, your
worthiness
Depend on it
Do it!
Get it!
More money!
Is all you need!
Focus, concentrate, find a way
Find your true way
To the only meaningful thing there is
Money
For everyone, forever
To feel good about yourself
To create happiness all around
This dream existence you have been told
Was your only way out
The only reason why you ever existed
It all comes down to one thing
Saving the world
Making this world a happier place
Get humanity out of its eternal misery
Only one solution
Only one goal
Your only real true independence
Useless to lie
Even to yourself
Deep down you know
No need to be ashamed of it
Our whole society has been built on that one
principle
No matter what you have to do to get it
Or how you will go about it
Just keep in mind one single idea
And you will be saved
There’s nothing else in this world
Against your downfall
Learn to love it
Or else you’ll be a slave
Repeat after me
Money is everything!
Good boy, Good girl
As long as you still believe in money
We may still save humanity
In
What you qualify as my twisted mind
Is only a reflection of what you taught me
It is only the true and only consequence
Of what you truly tried to brainwash me
about
It was leading there
I don’t understand why you feel this is not
true
What did you expect?
Was it not what you wanted me to do?
To truly really do?
Is competition not the extermination of any
threat to my being?
Is succeeding not preventing others from
taking my place?
Is becoming rich and powerful
Not mean everyone else being a slave to my
own desires?
If I am to control everything
Surely it means that no one else should
have any freedom
If I am to lead the life I am expecting to
lead
Then no one else can live in this world
What you qualify now as my twisted mind
Is your own twisted mind you did not
realize you had
You were just too blind to see it
It is too late now
I will make all your dreams come true
And I will not get the blame
You will get just what you deserve
I assure you
What you taught me
It was leading there
To the extinction of humanity
Hail to the bugs, the true leaders of
this world
By bugs
You probably thought I was referring to our
politicians
But I was in fact talking about the true
leaders of this world
Something much more powerful than any of us
Real bugs
We are at war
And we are losing it
It’s time we acknowledge our defeat
And consider them as our true leaders
Bugs have taken over the world
They inhabit us
We are still unable to kill them
They spread from one host to the other
We have become their home
It kills us
And then they move on to someone else
Until none of us will remain
To even support their existence
They don’t seem to mind
Not hard to understand
We have been following the same pattern
Multiplying until the Earth can no longer
sustain any of us
But that was not the real worry
We will all be dead by the time the earth
becomes unlivable
The bugs are winning the war
And we have not even declared that we were
at war
Because we feel they are not really threatening
Until they actually reach either us directly
Or someone we personally love
Won’t be too long now
Soon we will all be infected
They’re winning the war
They mutate much faster than we could hope
to mutate ourselves
And they don’t even need to practice DNA
re-sequencing
They move at a much higher time rate than
us
They’ve gone through millions of generations
Of permutations
Of mutations
While we were still debating what should be
legal or illegal
Hail to the bugs
The next and only humanity
Perhaps they will find a way not to kill
each other
And finally get out of the solar system
Something it seems we were never going to
achieve anyway
What a pity
There is no greatness to speak of here
About humanity
After all
Perhaps we were not really worth it
It took so long anyway to understand
anything
We only produced two geniuses
And it took us hundreds of years
To finally understand
That they were completely wrong
Ultimately we produced no geniuses at all
It was all an illusion
The history of humanity is a sad one indeed
Plagued with stupidity
While we were praising our intelligence and
greatness
Perhaps the bugs
In their own time frame
Will go further than we could ever achieve
The bugs, our only true legacy
May they be the ones finally getting out of
the solar system
To continue humanity’s legacy to the stars
The only species with any real future
The only species capable of surviving any
Life Extinction Event
Hail to the bugs!
The true leaders of this world!
Awareness in
Have I gone everywhere in this world
Enjoy my own little awareness once in a
while
Alone yet in another hotel room
Wondering about my own individuality
In a sea of billions
How insignificant I can be
Wondering if I can make any difference
And if it is at all important
If I do or not
Maybe there was never any meaning to it
Just a fact that needs to be accepted
We are six billions
I am one
I am aware that I exist
I have my own individuality
Should enjoy it
Go for a walk
Look at the sea in the Bay
Look at the constructions
The bridge
Another symbol of our so-called greatness
The
Of artificial intelligence
Wonder if it has any awareness
Individuality in a world of multiplication
Of the same, over and over again
That one voice
At this point
Cannot make any difference
Indulging
Fighting
Surviving
Still have that chance to see more
Explore more than the next one
Reach
See that bridge for myself
And wonder
In my awareness
What it all means
If anything
We’ve built a valley of silicon
Like we grew a valley of wine trees
Can artificial intelligence get drunk?
Can it wonder about its existence?
Can it have awareness?
And would my life be better
Without that awareness?
Mindless existence
I’m in
And that’s all there is to it
Just go to the sea
Just look at it
Do not think
It is only painful
There is no answer here
To all these questions
Why torture ourselves
Why invent philosophy?
Can I just live for a change?
Forget my individuality?
My awareness?
This intelligence which serves no real
purpose
To my own happiness?
Can I not just enjoy being alive?
Without having to put back everything
In its own context?
Can I not just for once
Be in
And not be aware of it?
Of anything?
As a meaningless fact
I’m here now
Let’s just enjoy it?
Without throwing me into thinking mode
Of self doubt
That this world could actually be real
Meaningful
With some sort of great purpose
That we just can’t figure out?
I’m sorry
I cannot accept that it is about love and
reproduction
Multiplication of more useless existence
Who will one day end up in
And wonder
Why it is that they are alive
When they see that bridge
In wonder
To what symbol we were able to construct
To give a reason, a meaning
To something that has none
Awareness is perhaps not that magical
A bit of programming could simulate that
Individuality is perhaps just an illusion
We are all thinking the same
We are all the same
We are one
This feeling of individuality
This feeling of awareness
It’s programmed on that carbon chip
Which is my brain
I guess God never knew about
miniaturization
Might have been the lack of competition
The lack of a desire to make tons of money
My brain is about to explode
And I am limited in my understanding
To the program
Cannot go beyond
Cannot understand beyond
I’m in
No need to think anymore
Just exist
If I can
Reach that bridge
Be in awe in front of what we were able to
build
In terms of symbols
And especially
Stop processing
Avoid the only conclusion which seems right
To terminate the processing process forever
Avoid the urge to jump off that bridge
To the great darkness
I tell you
Really worth being aware
In
You had one good look at me
You hated me
Then you had another good look in time
I’m likable
Once you move beyond my rough edges
My God!
You have only scratched the surface
You have no idea, do you?
Of where I am
If only you could read this
If only I could let you read this
You might have a better understanding
Of how I really feel
Not about you
But about the world we live in
I am at the point where I am wondering
If existing is worth it
And you’re talking about
Am I likable or not?
Am I capable of emotions and sensitivity or
not
Of understanding
No I am not
I have other worries
Other stuff to deal with
I can’t even stop and worry
About the details of what you are worried
about
I am beyond all that
My rough edges
Whether I do it on purpose or not
Am I likable or not
I could not care less
When I only feel like taking a gun
And shoot you in the head
I do not want to be with you
I do not want to talk to you
I certainly do not want to spend time
Worrying about what you said
What I said
Feeling guilt
For my rough edges
Looking for a liberation
Of the consequences of my smallest action
My smallest word
Which seems to have quite an impact on you
I thought we were the same
You are obviously dying in superficiality
Believing in your own intelligence
When you cannot even think beyond your new
found husband
Destiny
And if you are worth it or not
If you should be on a diet or not
No you’re not worth it
You are a pain
You are capable
But you’re more trouble that it is worth
Go back to where it is that you come from
And die there
I never ask you in my life
I could very well exist without you
You’re not worth the pain
Shut up!
Leave me alone!
Get out of my life!
Or I’ll blow up your brain!
How’s that for my rough edges?
Do I have to be completely off my mind?
A few days in
Is perhaps what I needed to calm down
After these last few days of hell
Those last few months of hell
In
I’m going back home tomorrow
My home in
Back to hell, that is
The thing is
Was not
A few months ago?
Yes I
My little run through all these towns
From Heathrow to
All the pubs in
Where you can actually smoke a cigarette
My baby, my family
Can I go back and understand it is a
paradise?
Can I pull that off?
Can I be peaceful again
Even if I have actually never been
peaceful, ever?
Who are these people who are peaceful?
What’s their secret?
They’re on the doll? Is that it?
They live in some green field far from
everyone and everything?
Without a TV or media or computer?
With animals, birds tweeting
Angels and Jesus Christ in the middle?
And a bunch of fluffy clouds perhaps?
Do I have to be completely off my mind
To be peaceful in this world?
Is it just a state of mind?
How can I learn to be peaceful
Forget my rage against everything and
everyone
I wish to be peaceful
I need help
Is there anyone on the planet who could
teach me?
Without involving God, religion, spirituality
and new age stuff?
Without me having to buy a statue of
Buddha?
Or having a psychologist tell me I am
neurotic?
Could I just walk outside and find peace
once and for all?
And be done with that?
Ready to move on with my happy life?
Let me concentrate here
Let me see if I can be peaceful again
Oh wait, I am!
Oh, it’s gone
Lasted three seconds
Dear, dear, dear
Oh well, three seconds
I’m getting there…
What am I complaining about?
Don’t I remember that kid?
Living desperately alone when he was 18?
In a black hole in the North Pole?
I had dreams to see the world
To live everywhere
It started with
Then
Then
Then
Then
Then
Then
I’ve seen the world
I lived everywhere of any consequence
I’ve achieved those dreams
Why was it not enough?
What more could I want?
I did not find happiness
I did not even find peace
I found no answer to all my questions
I guess I was not going to find them in
Under a palm tree
Or under a rock in the desert
I should have jumped into hard drugs with
my two hands
Perhaps I would then have found some
answers
Some happiness
I only found alcohol
I think it did not help much
I might as well have remained in the North
Pole
Perhaps I would have found happiness there
after all
Under a rock under the snow
After digging for a few miles
Nothing exists from before I reached
And now that I am no longer in
It seems that my life has ended
I am lost somewhere outside the fabric of
space
Need to find a way back to my life
Need to find a wormhole leading back to
Surely there is one between
Or else
Bring me a Big Bang
If everything explodes
I might be able to rebuild or create
something bearable
With all the pieces of my reality
Lost everywhere in the world
The universe is obviously too small for me
Happiness must lie outside of it
Great
Now I have dreams of getting out of the
universe
I’ll find a way
To tell you if I have found happiness
Once I get there
Cos believe you me
I will get there!
And I better find happiness
If I had brought into this world
A child as depressed as I am
I would be depressed now
Why would I want to bring into this world
A child?
What is there for him or for her to be
happy about?
Thirty years of studying a very specific
and boring subject?
Being bullied by other students and
teachers alike?
A high paying job in the corporate world?
Being bullied by colleagues and bosses alike?
If that child did not commit suicide after
that
I’d be lucky
What hope could I give him or her?
In a better world where happiness exists?
When I know damn well that it is not
possible?
That everyone they will ever meet
Will just cause them problem after problem
And sap any kind of energy they might have?
Backstabbing is all there is down here
What has this world got to offer to anyone?
Let alone a new child born with hopes and
dreams?
Nothing, you can only drive them all to
suicide
It is a very sad story
Just as well
That I am the end of the family line
What?
Jesus Christ was married?
What?
Jesus Christ had a child?
You must be mistaken
It is clear to me
That Jesus Christ was gay
Just like God his father
Only gay entities can create anything
worthwhile
I must be drunk to provoke you like that
I learned tonight that I was not living
I was pretending to be living
I’m so stupid
I thought writing it
And living it
Was the same
Well, it’s ought to be
Because I’m not going to start living
Any time soon
I’m already dead, you see
I’ve been for years
That’s why when that fat bitch
Gets sacked tomorrow
I’ll be smiling
Loving every minute of it
For one long second there
I will feel alive
I hope she has a gun
And starts shooting my bosses
That would be even lovelier
I’ll be alive for a whole minute then!
Oh, but it could be even better
She could decide after that to commit
suicide
There’s that large window in her office
She can always tell the weather
I find out at the end of the day that it is
raining like hell
And that I will have to cycle home in that
hell
She may decide to throw herself out the
window
Being as fat as she is
Surely we will hear the clunk on the
pavement?
And then a metro bus can run over her in a
big splash
With the office half dead three floors up
After that, back to work
As if nothing happened
Got a project to finish!
I came to
I was supposed to leave my misery in
I was supposed to become a positive force
of nature
In
I was going to rewrite the Georgics
The way it should really have been written
There is more to positivism than birds and
flowers
I’m afraid
But don’t worry
Virgil can sleep well tonight
Wherever he is buried in this world
I can only rewrite
The Descent to Hell
The way I should have written it 15 years
ago
With added bonuses here and there
Addons and special effects
A computerized interactive version
Just for you!
As a consequence of your bad behavior
Because you have been bad, yes you have
Don’t deny it
Bad enough that I have been suicidal all my
life
And can only write what comes out of the
purgatory
I will never be a positive force of nature
I will never uplift anyone
Convince them that life is a wonderful
thing
And worth living
On the contrary
I’ll show you how ugly this world really is
How unhappiness is all there is
What a mess you’ve made of this place
I tried
It is just not possible
I tried to fall in love with an orange tree
I failed
I was way too worried about all your crap
To fall in love with a palm tree
I tried to rewrite The Contemplations
The way it should have been written
Years ago
No worry
Victor Hugo can sleep well tonight
Wherever it is that he has been buried
It is just not possible
In that kind of world
In my wake
I have no choice
I’ll bring you all to my tomb with me
Wherever that tomb will be
Finally!
Finally I drank enough
Finally I drank enough wine
To feel elated!
What would it be on heroin?
I wonder
Gosh I need it
I need it to escape
I need it to escape this dirty reality
I think this is the first sentence I ever
said:
I need to escape this reality!
That is certainly the first sentence I
wrote
When I was 10 years old
Isn’t that amazing?
I had not discover LSD then
Neither today I’m afraid
What a shame
Because tonight I’m ready
I feel elated!
No more misery
No more hell on earth
No more bastards to worry about
No more you breathing down my neck
Every single second of my mere existence
I went to buy wine
They had to scan my Californian driving
license
I proudly shouted:
I don’t need the President to know
That I’m buying alcohol tonight!
What sort of Big Brother State is this?
Next time I’ll give you my
Or my Canadian one if you wish
Surely you can’t scan that yet?
I was spotted by nearly 1000 cameras
I was followed everywhere I went
I was observed when I was picking up my
nose
They must have heard me when I farted
Maybe they can even tell if I left a trail
in my underwear?
Nothing would surprise me these days
I just love to be disgusting
If I can make a point
I feel elated tonight!
Filled with an inexhaustible source of
energy
Power!
That’s what fills my veins tonight
It
is the blood I crave
Cos I’m not going to sleep tonight
I’ll be a zombie for the rest of my life
That’s how I decided I can continue
To live this life
By not being aware of it
Better drink myself to death every night
Smoke myself to death
Until everything burst inside
It is the only compromise I can reach
Between life and I
I feel elated!
But as you can see
It never lasts
Need my next fix
That’s the only way I can continue
To live this life
And you thought you had read it all
That you knew what my darkest thoughts were
I can assure you
You don’t
If I could for one moment
Communicate to you
My darkest thoughts
You would not survive
It would be a total annihilation of the
universe
Only a few electrons would remain after
The only indivisible particle
And then again
I would invent a way to make them all
disappear
Nothing would ever know
That something existed down here
That’s how dark my thoughts are
I’m sometimes frightened
By how extreme I’ve become
How radical I am
There are no two measures anymore
There’s only one extreme
I cannot forget
I cannot forgive
I cannot take pity on anyone
No one has come to save me
No one will come to save you
My darkest thoughts…
Beyond that
Get ready, we’re leaving!
I don’t know where
Don’t ask
We’re just leaving
There are some new horizons to explore
I’ve been told there was something there
To make it all worthwhile
Of course I don’t believe it
I don’t care
I need to get out of here!
I need to believe there is something
Beyond these Californian mountains
I see them every day on my way to work
And yet I am stuck in the
Every day on my way to work
I cannot reach those mountains
I’m not even sure if they’re real
Who cares?
Get ready!
We’re leaving
I don’t know
Who cares?
I need to get out of here
I cannot be stuck like this
Anywhere!
I cannot just stop living
Anywhere
I need to feel alive!
I need to get going
I need to listen
To my sense of adventure
My need of exploration
What’s behind that mountain?
I don’t know
I don’t care
I need to go there
I need to find out
Don’t you understand?
I need to get out of here!
Get ready!
I want to be a Damn Modern Californian
Hippy!
Modern Californian hippies
Have traded their drug pipe
With the Stock Exchange market papers
They are green at heart
But they’re fearful capitalists by day
To make good money
To make good bonuses
And then after work
They pick up their guitar
They pick up their surf board
And they go to the beach
That’s what I want to be!
A Californian modern hippy
I want to go on the road
Start a business
From a mobile phone
Get rich by day
Be a hippy the rest of the night
I want shit loads of money
So I can finance my Californian hippy life
I’ll never be a hippy
But there’s no harm in pretending
Is there?
Millions down here are pretending
They’re no more hippies than I am
So I guess
There’s no harm in pretending
Is there?
Even if it kills me
Even if I have to become a millionaire to
achieve it
Just like everyone else down here
I’ll be a damn Modern Californian Hippy!
I’m in a destructive mode
Get out of my way
Or I may just stop for a few minutes
To judge you
To criticize you
To destroy you
Who else can I destroy?
There is so much to pick from
It is getting ridiculous
Everyone’s life
Everyone’s little crisis
Brings the worse in everyone
Giving me the chance to have one good look
And feel deep pity
And then
Sorry
There’s no excuse
I have to destroy you
Your pettiness
Your miserable little existence
All fenced up
Your little meaningless flag that you are so
proud of
This little bit of territory that you are
defending
To your last dying breath
Will be your buried ground
Faster than you can imagine
Watch out!
I’ll destroy you
Study your symbolism, for god’s sake!
When I say that I want to shoot you in the
head
What I really mean
Is that I don’t like what you are doing
When I say that we need to blow up this
planet
What I really mean
Is that really we should try a little bit
harder to be nice to people
When I say that this country is going to
hell and everyone should die
What I really mean
Is that frankly, I need a little bit more
money to finish the month
When I am saying that you should go back into
the anus of your mom
What I really mean
Is that you could smile at me once in a while
When I say die bitch!
What I really mean
Is, oh for God’s sake, I do mean it, die
bitch!
No seriously, I mean, go see a psychologist
dear, it might help us all
When I say I had enough and I will commit
suicide
What I really mean
Is let’s have sex pumpkin, it has been a
week, you know?
When I say that no one deserves to live
What I really mean
Is that, well, I’m not sure what that one really
means
Perhaps I really mean it after all
There is something in genius stuff
That does not quite add up
When in arts
They reach perfection
It does not seem natural
It does not seem possible
How all this come together?
Where does it start?
How can they understand
So many layers of meaning
So many perfect chords
So perfect an imagination
That can create something out of this world?
Is it completely on a subconscious level?
Fascinating
Does not happen often
Lucky when you come across it
Genius
Is the biggest mystery of all
You tried to get me sacked, this is War
You tried to get me sacked again
You did not think about the consequences
Is that your best shot?
Because look
I’m still here
You perhaps thought
That there would be no tomorrow
That I would not be back to suffer you
everyday
That I was no longer your worry
You were wrong
I am back with a vengeance
There is no forgiveness possible
In that kind of mind game you decided to
play
I cannot forget what you just did
I cannot try to like you now, can I?
I can only hate you
And do everything I can
To destroy you
Before you destroy me
You wanna play that game?
You will find out that it is very
destructive indeed
Like in any war
There will be no winner
We will all be dead at the end of it
But what choice have you given me?
You tried to get me sacked
It was unjustified
The bosses saw through your game
Or you were not convincing enough
You could not find the smoking gun
Because there was none
Don’t worry, I’ll find one
I’ll succeed in destroying you
Because I am not like you
I do not play these mind games
Under any slight trifle
I make my move afterwards
In self defense
When I have the perfect opportunity
No trifles
Just plain hard undeniable facts
About your incompetence
And your mind games
To bury your inadequacy
This is a declaration of war
I declare that I am now going to have one
goal only
Your utter destruction
I have not started the war
I never do
But I sure
Will finish it
Until none of us survive
You should have thought about the
consequences
The end always justifies the means
It’s personal now
I don’t care to die
Do you?
The World is filled with
Backstabbers
It is ridiculous
We’re all walking around the office
With our little dagger in our right hand
We use it all time
To prove how incompetent everyone else is
To prove how great we are
But I am asking you
How great are we really?
If to prove it we need a dagger in our
right hand?
If we need to kill everyone else to reach
the top
When there is not even a top to speak of?
The world is filled with backstabbers
Never forget it
Never let your guard down
If you do not kill them first
They certainly will
Your first ever vibe about anyone
Tells it all
You are warned the very first second
And yet you think you might escape it
Somehow
Escape your destiny?
In a world full of backstabbers?
You must be dreaming
Be one of those optimistic persons
They always die first
It’s a law of nature
They are so easy to manipulate
In a world of manipulators
If you are not already calculating
Your next move
You are doomed
In a world filled with backstabbers
You can only yourself become one
In this corporate world
This is all there is left to do
Backstab happily my friend!
Before they backstab you to death
I’ve been told to stop talking
about my sexuality
I have been told today
That it was not acceptable
To talk about my sexuality
It is something that is taboo
Don’t ask, don’t tell
Or else I’ll be sacked
I’m supposed to act as if it did not exist
Because it makes everyone around me feel
uncomfortable
Like if they had no sexuality themselves
And I am starting to believe it
No wonder this world is not going anywhere
Because I assure you
We were all born with a sexuality
Maybe you think that you are better than me?
That I am a deviant
Some sort of anomaly
Does it disturb you
When I say that you need to be fucked up
the arse?
That you have been a gay in the closet
For too many years now
And that you would feel better
The day you admit it?
Does it disturb you that I have great sex?
When you obviously don’t?
Are you jealous or what?
I would be
If I were still a virgin at 30
In fact, I would go stir crazy
Just like you
You see, the problem is not me
The problem is you
Accept yourself
Accept your sexuality
And perhaps then
And only then
Will you be able
To accept
That I have a sexuality
Drinking yourself to death in L.A.
After a hard day’s work
In
There is only one thing to do
Drinking yourself to death
Until you forget everything
Until you forget you even exist
Until you forget that you have to do it all
over again
The next day
I have been such a zombie in
My blood has been sucked till I was dried
My life has been sucked until I had no
existence
Condemning me all day to a life of the
undead
And they call it eternal life
Poor souls
Who are already dead
And don’t realize it
Condemned to do the same routine every day
Until there is only one thing left to do
Drink yourself to death
To forget to live
This is what I learned in
Drinking myself to death
Every night
To forget it all
They’ve been testing me, like a rat!
They dropped me in that little labyrinth
There was nowhere to go
So I bang my head in every wall
I’ve become famous for it
Then they subjected me to the worse
treatments
Just to find out how resistant I was
How much I could endure before cracking
I never did
They were impressed
Now they have added a new level
For me to run everywhere into
Somehow along the way
I’ve become aware
That I was just a rat
That I was just being tested
So I decided to stop playing the game
I did not care to bang myself in the walls
anymore
I did not care for the second level
Their new testing ground
Soon I will be declared a great disappointment
A rat without any cleverness
Looking at the sky
Hoping for some salvation
Not playing the game anymore
Not eating or drinking anymore
Letting myself die in my corner
I
will be judged a failure
When in fact
I saw through it all
And it depressed me so much
That I’d rather let myself die
Than play their game
From my point of view
This is my only success
I used to think you were so cool
Being in
Enjoying success and all
And I was nothing
How could I be as cool as you?
Living a miserable existence
Rejected by everyone
You were everything I wanted to be
I wanted to be just like you
As cool as you
I was envious
Jealous
Was I supposed to be born cool?
As it looked so natural on you
But then I started to study you a bit
better
I got to know you better
I started to see the cracks
Beyond that cool exterior
There is such a small human being inside
Ten times more worried and frightened than I
am
Paranoid, lost, in search for love and
acceptation
Not cool at all!
Were you not supposed to be a god?
Stronger than I could ever be?
Not worried about anything
As if everything came to you naturally
Not caring about anything
Especially not small people like me?
What a discovery
I am stronger than you will ever be
Your cool exterior was hiding
Your nothingness
Your tons of psychological problems
You are so small!
You are nothing!
I don’t care anymore for cool people
If anything
I am cooler than any of the cool people
Because I am real, not fake
I don’t care for what people think of me
I’m just trying to survive, all right?
I am myself
And that makes me cooler
Than you
You’re not so cool after all
So just get lost!
A Cool Summer Day in
So many cool summer days in
Nothing can beat that
Not even
No cool summer days here
You would need a winter first for that
Nothing to wait for here
Nothing to hope for here
Ah!
My cool summer days in
Driving around
As if I was Royal material
With my castle in the middle
My pond and my birds
Enjoying the sun
Feeling something like life
A powerful energy coming from nowhere
The power of
All over me
For eternity
Le Canal du Midi en France
Das
Märchen Schloss in Bayern
All mine!
For all eternity!
Feeling great, filled with energy
Living for a change!
Taking it all in!
That, I miss deeply
I’m concerned
There are no cool summer days in
I know now
That soon
I’ll be back in
Where love is what awaits me
Great love
I can feel it after all
And all I needed to do
To understand that concept of love
Was to move to
Where love and passion and creativity
Simply
Do not exist
Oh my
God! How will I survive this?
Worse than being crucified on a cross
Dear me, I would welcome that any day
Worse than having some weird object
inserted into my ass
No problems, insert the
Worse than being disinherited
I never wanted your easy money made in a
simpler world anyway
Worse than being walked all over by a bunch
of bulls
Bulls? Why not Elephants? Then I might
actually feel something!
Worse than having the Bible quoted to me
for an hour
I’m quite prepared to listen to any old crap,
please, tell me more
Worse than dying in a car wreck accident
Oh, you just don’t know, how I would love
to die
Worse than terrorists annihilating the
whole town
Finally some entertainment to make me
forget my killing routine!
Worse than having a
Who knows, I might survive all alone,
living a new happy life!
Oh my God!
Anything, anything but that!
How will I survive it?
Tomorrow I’ve got to go back to work!
Reaching an
Crisis Mode
Panic Attack
Here we are
The End of Days
Just like in the movies
It was all true after all
I can’t think anymore!
I can’t breathe anymore!
I’ve reached another
Crisis Mode
Panic Attack
Right here on
Dying on the street in
How was that a surprise?
They were all born here
They all died here
The legends
Drunk to full capacity
Drugged to full capacity
This is where
Over the cliff
Crisis Mode
Panic Attack
The End of Days
For me to discover now
To understand
To assimilate
To digest
The enormity of it
The enormity of it all
I will accept my destiny
I will go through it all
I will live through hell
But
I will survive
My
I finally went to
When I passed the door
They must have given me
Some weird pill
Or a magic mushroom
I was not myself
I was seeing double, triple, quadruple
I saw some distorted castles
Some bugs jumping around for no apparent
reason
Happy people in a happy world!
Nightmarish images of happiness
And so many smelly fat tourists dancing
Too many frightened children crying
That I was able to stand
When I saw Mickey Mouse
I was horrified
I don’t know what hit me
It was quite powerful
I instantly puked everywhere
And such a splitting headache afterwards
And then came seven dwarfs
It was enough to tip me over the edge
Of insanity
Such a fragile frontier with normality
I took a gun from one of the guards
I started shooting blindly
To any Disney character I could see
It took them less than 30 seconds to shut
me down
And eject me from this mad world
Which has nothing to do with anything I
ever experienced
I finally went to
It was a horrific experience
Never attempt that
Without first
Drinking a whole bottle of whisky
Otherwise you might not survive it
The change of reality
Is way too brutal
But if you are already crazy
Come to
It might be just what you need
It is the electric shock treatment for sure
To get cured from your insanity
It will bring you right back to reality in
an instant
Got to get back to some sense of normality
Nowhere in the world are there as many
Tourist traps and attraction parks
Than in
I feel my life has been running on a roller
coaster
Since I landed here a few months ago
There is no end to it
Everyday it is another wild ride
All over the mountains
Can’t even remember if I slept
Of course it does not help
That I am permanently drunk
How could I survive otherwise here?
Just buy your ticket
Just get on the ride
We’ll bring you to wonderful places
We’ll convince you that this is paradise
Oh what a wonderful world!
This is
Behind each palm tree
Hides the next celebrity
Waiting in line to become rich
Successful
More popular than Jesus Christ himself
You can read it all in the magazines
Another scandal is the only way
To get to the top
Just like the presidency really
Enjoy!
The ride will eventually come to a brutal
end
You will have to decide eventually
That you’re just an utter failure
That it was just an impossible dream
What an illusion
Eventually
You will have to come to your senses
And get back to some sense of normality
And go back to wherever it is
That you come from
Who cares anyway?
There is still a great life to be lived out
there
And it does not have to end up in a
It always comes back to that, isn’t
it?
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
What is it this time?
What is this big secret which will again
Devastate me?
Irretrievably change my life
To keep me exactly where I am now
Where we’ve always been?
Oh please!
Can we live this life without anymore
downfalls?
Is it not possible to live a life
Of total inaction?
All you need is one day
To destroy it all
When all we have ever been able to reach
Is the bottom of the ocean
Deeper and deeper
No matter how hard you try
To reach some sort of happiness
Just for a while
It can never last
You get right back to square one
Another disaster
Another crisis
Some suffering
A lot of crying
Once again completely lost
Alone in the world
With great unexplored vastness in front of
our eyes
Wishing we could fly and reach it all
Discover a new horizon
Less horrible than the precedent
As a law of nature
We can only find
Worse
It always comes back to that, isn’t it?
I don’t know where I am anymore
I’ve been everywhere
Time is no longer linear in my case
I am everywhere and nowhere at the same
time
I don’t know what it is that I am supposed
to do
I just know that I don’t want to do it
Where the fuck am I?
I don’t know where I am
I just know that I don’t want to be
anywhere
Anywhere has never made me happy
Whatever I ever did
Never made me happy
So
How could I care where I am
What I am doing?
And especially
What I should be doing next
And where?
Where the fuck am I?
What is it that I’m supposed to do here?
Should it not be where I actually want to
be?
Doing what I actually want to do?
It is not the case
So I could not care less
That is why I have the strangest ideas
The weirdest desires
Of changing everything
Nothing ever could make me happy
Nowhere in this world could I ever be happy
You could not make me happy
I don’t need you
I don’t need everything that you want me to
do
I don’t need that shite
Just get out and disappear!
So I can get lost too
And never
Ever
Have
To give it
A second thought
Where the fuck am I?
Lost, that’s for sure
What am I doing?
Nothing, that’s for sure
Where should I be?
Nowhere
What should I be doing?
Nothing
Then
Perhaps
I might
Find
Happiness
I thought I succeeded
In killing all of you
In my own thoughts
My own dreams
And then
To my astonishment
You all came back from the dead
What is it now?
What do you want from me?
Don’t you understand
That you’re supposed to be dead?
Not existing
Being nothing?
I succeeded
In forgetting you
Accepting your death
Why do you come back now?
What are all those questions?
I don’t need to answer any of them
I’m in deep shit, as usual
I know you could help me tremendously
I know you don’t want to
I know you won’t
I know I would not accept it anyway
So why come back from the dead?
Especially now?
When I am so down at the bottom?
Do you enjoy seeing me down there?
Does it make you feel better
How low I am
And how normal you are?
Well, I never cared for normality
I prefer to be sinking really
Yes I do!
Don’t question me
I don’t know why
I don’t want to know
I am marginal
I am not like you
I don’t want to be like you
Let me sink!
I don’t care for zombies
Contacting me once in a while
To find out if I am finally getting
somewhere
I am not
And I won’t be
For many more decades
Are you happy now?
Are you ready to go back
To the world of the dead?
Feeling orgasmic about… another project
Faster! Faster!
Oh yes!
Oooh!
Yes, continue
It’s perfect
Just like that
It makes me feel
How can I say
Powerful
Rich
Illuminated
Ah yes, yes, yes!
Harder
More!
I love it
I love you
Go for it
Don’t stop
No please!
I can’t stand it anymore
Ah yes
That’s better
Faster! Faster!
I’m sorry Sir
I’m typing that project as fast as I can
And by the way, to be honest
I don’t feel as orgasmic as you about it
500,000 people in
need mental health services
Katrina and the wave
Destroyed a good American city
No longer will we have to hear
About
Well
If 500,000 people are in an emotional
turmoil
I say stop right there
It is not them who need help
It is the rest of
Everyone working in the corporate world
Let’s start with me for example
I had a hell of a week
I did not sleep at all
I worked on that project night and day
I was bullied by my bosses until my guts
came out
I’m in desperate needs for mental health
services
For my services to one American corporation
It is like a disease, you catch it after a
while
So please!
Send my way an army of psychologists
Bagged with all the pills there are in
We need it much more in
That much is obvious!
What?
These people in
God flooded the damn place to clean it
They were suddenly free from their day to
day hell
Their useless job not helping anyone anyway
They had to deal with something much more
exciting
We don’t get any of that action in
Except perhaps what they film in these
sound stages
Forget
They are free at last
We still need help down here in
God! A big earthquake would do nicely…
The Decline of the Gay American
Empire
I landed in this office in
There was only one other obvious gay guy
He has the single biggest ass I have ever
seen in my life
But I did not care, I went to him
Paid him lunch
He brought me in the single most expensive
place in town
And I quickly realized that
He was not going to be my ally
If anything
He would work against me
Ok, I thought
This is
Everyone’s gay but in the closet
You can’t expect solidarity from everyone
When everyone’s gay
Can you?
Then I decided to observe him from afar
He is a damn good salesman
A true liar
He could sell you a castle in
And who would need that now
That the place has been flooded beyond
recognition?
And then I went to the toilet
Peacefully
Minding my own business
Splashing a little bit of water over my gay
face
He rushed in
Ran to the nearest toilet
Did not use the toilet seat protective
paper at all
Did not even put toilet paper all around
the bowl!
He just within seconds
Shat so noisily
I have never been so embarrassed in my life!
I did not know what to do, what to think
And then
To my astonishment
While I was trying to get out quickly
He came out of the toilet cubicle as fast
as he went in
It left me in awe
Did he use any toilet paper at all?
It did not seem so to me
And then he had a big smile
His great salesman voice came back
I think he was trying to sell me a castle
in
And then he left quickly
Leaving me behind in utter bewilderment
I was in shock!
What happened to gay
This is such a disgrace, my God!
It can only mean one thing
We are witnessing something terrible
The Decline of the Gay American Empire
Well done!
It is almost unbelievable
You cannot control your temper
We’ve got more complaints against you
From all our customers
Than anyone ever got altogether in the last
20 years
You gossip like hell
Against the bosses
All the time complaining
To a point where I need to get out
To get some fresh air
You got half the company sacked
On trifles and technicalities
You tried with me
You immediately saw me as a threat
With good reason
You thought I was an easy target
You were met with a brick wall
You’re not even competent
You’re not even intelligent
I was able to counter your attack easily
And yet
You’re so good to my diet
Every time I speak to you
You fill me with such anger
I don’t eat anything all day
And then
You’ve accomplished a miracle
Not only did you not lose your job
And even though
I have five times more experience than you
You became my boss!
Unbelievable!
This is
Do you sleep with the boss?
There could be no other explanation
Well
You’ve got me at a disadvantage now
You certainly will win the war
And get me sacked after all
Unfortunately
I can’t sleep with the boss
So you’ve won
You’ve won the war!
It looks like I underestimated you
You’re a mastermind
I’m proud of you!
Well done!
I’ll leave the country within a month
Sometimes
It is so nice
To be able to escape reality
By remembering one’s past
I was in
I was deeply in love there, twice
With the same person
I almost got what I was so desperate for
I didn’t get it
Oh well
Would not have been the same if I did
It is this strong desire
That built the strongest memory
I was happy twice
In
I was just alive in the streets of
Every night
Two years in a row
Twice in love
I almost got it
I almost touched it
It was wonderful
I learn poetry there
I also learned
That people steal
At such a perfect moment in time
And yet, it is the same everywhere
Such a great time
Such great memories
I was happy there
I went everywhere
I know every single place there is
I had sex there
But that was meaningless
What was meaningful
Was what I wanted that I did not get
Alone in the street
At
With the only love possible
Which was just an impossible love
I think I wrote a whole book about it
God only knows where it is now
All I know
Is that
I had a greater time
In
That I ever did
In
Tomorrow will be such a great day all
over
I’ve got to be on lots of amphetamines
To even entertain the idea
That tomorrow
In
Will be a great day
All this town has been able
To bring me
Is a death wish
And yet
I am here tonight
Suddenly believing in miracles
That days are not passing by
Just to bring the worst in humanity
Every single day has been
Worse and worse
Even when you could not think
It could get any worse
Life always finds a way
To make it worse the next day
It is excruciating
Wondering what I’m doing here
That’s it
I can feel life leaving me forever
I
might just die here
Unless I do something
Unless I get out of here before it happens
Is it not too late?
Just when you think
That you are due for a great day
Any kind of good news
That suddenly will change your life
Forever
You discover
That this town has played a trick on you
It is exasperating
You want to die
It is always worse the next day!
Surely
At some point
I’ll wake up in
And feel great?
At least once?
Oh God…
It just won’t happen
What a disaster
I know you’re a girl
And I’m a boy
And that by some sort
Of law of nature
We’re incompatible
I feel deeply for you
We’re in the same boat
A sinking boat
You’re left there alone
Looking at all this
Experiencing it for the first time
Totally desperate
Not knowing what to do
What’s coming next
I feel so bad for you
I feel so sorry for you
I’ve been through it dozens of times
It is second nature to me
That hell you’re just discovering
I would love to squeeze you in my arms
tonight
Make you discover what it is
That you are actually missing
Everywhere I have been
Everything I have seen
Connected for eternity
To something larger than you have ever
experienced
Forget what it is that they are doing to
you
Come with me
We’ll go and explore this world
We’ll forget for a while
We’ll be happy for a while
You’re so sweet
For you I’ll make an exception
I will stop
I will take you under my wings
Until you can fly away
Far away from here
Understand that there is something else
Beyond the horizon
I’ve seen it
And yet
It is more of the same
Only together could we ever built ourselves
A fortress in which
None of them will ever have access
Come with me
I’ll make you discover
This world
Before they turn you into a bitch
Sweet Chinese Girl
I can get away with murder,
remember that
You tried again to get rid of me
You pushed me once again to the limits
I exploded!
I barked at you in front of everyone
When I did stand up ready to leave
You said: sit down, we’re not finished
I told you to fuck off and I left
You were pleased
You thought you finally had all the ammunitions
To get me sacked once and for all
You have underestimated me
I am more important here than you are
I have proven myself in your back
You have no knowledge of this
I wonder why the bosses did not share with
you
That I was not as idle and incompetent as
you thought
Again, it seems, you have destroyed
yourself
Trying to destroy me
When will you learn?
I can get away with murder
Useless to try to damage me in any way
I will always resurface
I will always be there the next day
To annoy you in your failure
In trying to get rid of me
Careful
You have tried many times
It has failed every time
You have damaged yourself more and more in
the process
I have not even had my try yet
When I will make my move
I will be certain
That you will be sacked
At the moment
There does not seem to be a need
For me to try
You are succeeding on your own
Of getting rid of yourself
And then
I guess
I’ll just have to take your place
While you go and join
All those people you got sacked before
I can get away with murder
You can’t
Remember that next time you try!
Why do I always doubt myself?
I always succeed anyway in the end
I feel so powerful right now
I could take a whole army by myself
Get out of my way!
Nothing
No one
Will ever stop my in the pursuit of my
destiny
I will accomplish every single thing I want
I will succeed at everything I put my mind
to
And all of you
Small people trying to stop me
Will be wiped out of my path
I’m indestructible!
Whatever I want to achieve
I achieve it
Whatever obstacles you can see
I am blind to it
Nothing will stop me
No one will stop me
There is always a solution
The important thing
Is to not stop before it even begins
I need to go for it
Aware of the impossibility of it
Somehow
I always find a way
To make it come true
Money is the least of my worry
I never had any
And yet
It never stopped me
So believe me
When I’m telling you
That I am going to build this empire
I will!
I’m following my great destiny
I’m unstoppable!
Real power in this world
Is nothing
It does not give me any buzz
I don’t care
For deciding the destiny of millions
Their fate
Their faith
It is insignificant
The real power is in the head
It is psychological
When you really feel powerful
Ready to create a new universe
Motivated like never
This is significant
This is real power
Creating something huge
When you’re off your mind
Alone
For that I might skip ending my life
For that power I sense in me
That never ending potential
To change everything
Without any real power in the physical
world
It is worth living for
Power is nothing
No good ever came of it
But being powerful in your own mind
Can change the world
On a massive scale
I’m tired
To make you money
I have other personal projects to work on
I have a business plan to write
A business that will need to exist
Without any investors
You can understand that this is difficult
And requires a lot of my time
As it stands
I have no time
So tomorrow
I’ve decided
I’ll be sick
So I can work like hell
On what will finally be
My salvation
From people like you
From what it is that I have to do
To pay for my survival
You’re too greedy
You want my whole life
I can’t afford it
I need time
To work on my liberation
From my slave condition
To the one of master
I’m sorry it can only be accomplished
On your time
It’s your fault
When is it last time I even had a day off?
You own my life
But if I’m sick tomorrow
I might change all that
I’m so dead though
I might need to sleep all day
Just to become human again
I can’t let that stop me
I’m going to work on my way out
On your time
I don’t care about the consequences
That you might think less of me
Even if tomorrow is Friday
And it will look suspicious
You’re making my life such a living hell
Deal with it!
I need to work on my way out
That’s final
Tomorrow I’m sick
Tomorrow, we’re all sick!
Just get up at seven
Pick up the phone
Don’t even fake it
Shout that you are sick of it all!
That you can’t stand it anymore!
And then, enjoy your day
And thank me later
Tomorrow
We’re all sick
One more day in the Bible Belt,
and I might have to shoot you all
You must be joking
What were you thinking?
Oh yeah, right, I wanted to end up in
But
The Bible Belt?
How long do you think I can survive here?
One day?
That’s my guess too
If I’m not being arrested
Before even buying a forbidden fruit
Like… I don’t know
An apple perhaps?
I am the immoralist here
I am the ultimate mistake of nature
I am humanity’s greatest sin reincarnated
And from what I hear
I am humanity’s greatest threat!
What do you think I can achieve
In
Where they found those
Dead Sea Invented Secret Scrolls made of
Gold?
Or whatever…
How many days?
Oh my god!
Oh My God…
You want the end of the world
That’s for sure
Or the end of me
That’s for sure
There’s no getting to them
They’re already sold
To the Republicans
One more day in the Bible Belt
And I might have to
Make them understand
Who I am
And my right to exist
By the only mean available to me
There’s no getting to them
They’re already sold
To God
One more day in the Bible Belt
And I might have to
Make them understand
Without mercy
By
Shooting them all
Desperate for a gun in
America
That’s right
I so think that the solution to
All humanity’s problems
Hang with me owning a gun
Believe me!
I need a gun!
Help me get one!
Now!
I could achieve great things in
I could finally get that world to work
To think!
I’m sure of it
This is the only language anyone can
understand
That is the only language I can understand
Give me a gun!
A big one
I’ll change the world
I’ll make it a success
I’ll make you all the profit you’ll ever
need
Holding the planet at ransom
That’s my destiny
That’s what I was born for
I’ll crush them
I’ll crucify them all
To our own advantage
I’ll make them understand the urgency at
hand
Got to meet my deadline
Got to make a few millions here
Got to turn you into Jesus-Christ himself
You’ve got it all wrong!
Forget these damned management consultants
I don’t need more processes
I don’t need a new job description
I don’t need a new Manager
And more stuff to do with no time for it
I need a gun!
That’s all I need!
I’ll make your dream come true
I’ll put them all in line
I’ll collect the money
We’ll make it!
I assure you
You’ll be rich
Beyond your wildest dreams
Forget all your bollocks
If you want real and tangible results
Stop spending millions on management consultants
Just give me a gun…
The Mormon’s Disney Land in Utah
Too late, I’m a Mormon now!
Just as planned
I went to
Visited the
The Disney World they built
To convince me
That Jesus-Christ was the way forward
Didn’t have to read the Mormon’s Book
Didn’t have to hear their philosophy
Didn’t have to hear the truth
I just had to be guided around
By the most beautiful and pure
Sitting down by the Tabernacle
With her Mormon’s blond hair
Want a trip
To this 1.5 billion dollars Mormon’s
shopping mall darlin’?
I’ve seen the weirdest dresses there
My God, must belong to Jesus’ mother
herself
You would look so pure in this
I tell ya!
Oh dear, oh dear
It was just too much for my poor mind
I fell in love instantly
Ready to sell my soul to whomever
To get her forever and ever
Never mind that divorce is not an option
That cancelling a marriage is an alien
concept
I want as many babies to pop out
Of between her two legs
As possible
I’m sold
I’m the biggest Mormon you have ever seen
Where do I pay my tithing or tilting or
whatever?
40% of my salary (10% before tax)
And all you needed to convince me
Was that angel
Of a
That you have walking us around
Your Mormon’s
What
Sorry we could not match the date of our
Nuclear conference
With the ski season
Well, we have learned a valuable lesson
And next year
The Nuclear event will coincide with the
ski season
Still, I hope you took advantage
Of what the city had to offer
The biggest Mormon’s temple in the world
for a start
You don’t see that everyday
And if this is not your kind of thing
There is a planetarium down the road
Exhibiting a rock that came from the Moon
Well worth the detour
And what else
Well, that’s about it
After that
Just one more thing to do
Get into a private club
Get drunk
Go home
Let me buy you out just to shut
you up
That’s it
I’m annoyed now
I’m no longer amused
We’re in
I’ve got a few billions behind me
You better shut up
Or
I might just buy you out
And shut your big mouth out
For good
What the fuck are you talking about?
We’re purer than pure
We define what’s pure here, you see
We define what should be done
Where the money should go
What the government should do
We dictate around here
I’m sorry you didn’t know
You’re about to find out
I’m not sorry to say
I have unlimited powers
I have infinite budgets
Just to shut you up
You’ll never know what hit you
I can tell you that for free
But since you do not listen
You’re about to find out
How much this will cost you
I don’t need to ask permission
I don’t need to consider your future
You’re dead and that’s it
With any luck
I might not even need
To get my big guns out
You’ll die peacefully
Just as expected
You’re such a wimp
You’ll crawl out at the first alarm bell
This is how we do business in
Shut up now
Or
One way or another
I can assure you
You’re dead
Just continue to follow the trends
I’m a victim
Of the passing trend
Of what’s popular now
Of what will define that very year
Down in history
How sad
It is not my choice
Of course
Then again
I am powerless to stop it
I cannot define that trend
I’m pushed into an existing one
Don’t want that
Can’t distinguish myself then
I can’t be me then
Can I?
I need to define these trends
I need to reinvent what it is
That will be
This year
Every year
I need to be one step further
I need to keep control over what I do
What I want to achieve
I’m the one who should be defining
Those new trends
I am representing
Everyone
I am demanding more control
I am demanding
Yes I am
We should invent those trends ourselves
We need to decide around here
We do not need to follow blindly
The trends of others
In time this will mean only one thing
We were the victims
Not the victors
I’ll establish those trends
I’ll reinvent all fashions
This is art
I’ll create this world
Every year
This is the only way
Trust me
I’m all the PR you’ll ever need
They will follow me blindly
Believe me
Around here
From now on
I’ll create the new trends
Compensating for being Extra Fat
Oh dear
Big PR problem here
You’re extra fat!
What do you expect us to do here?
How can you hope
To revolutionize the world
Being extra fat?
Maybe if we dress you
In all those expensive extra black suits
And bleach your hair
And then turn them into a bright shade of
red
You might pass for some sort of anarchist
We might save you after all
From utter destruction
But I fear
A miracle is in order here
Could you just go on a diet?
Atkins perhaps?
You know?
You have three months before we hit the
market
We can use old photos for now
If need be
Don’t worry, we’ll make you look good
But once it hits the world
You’re on your own
You better look good
Or else…
You’re finished
This is, millions of dollars down the drain
Atkins
Now!
Or I’m afraid
All is lost
Even red hair won’t change anything now
No matter how genius you are
You’re lost
I’m sorry
There’s just no compensating
For you
Being extra fat
Oh God!
I’m dying here!
It’s not right!
Nothing is right!
I’m in the wrong place
At the wrong time
But I was there!
At the right place
At the right time
Nothing happened!
What are you playing at?
How can you consider sending me back there?
Nothing will happen!
I know that
Makes no difference now
If I understand that I was
At the right place at the right time
It will no longer be
If I am out of it
Able to understand
That I was
At the right place
At the right time
Then
And no longer
I’m fucked!
Or am I?
Just not sure
It might still explode
God knows
You know
Tell me!
Was I?
Am I?
Right place?
Right time?
I better be
I better have been
I better always be!
For my sake
And yours
I better make history
After all that
I have gone through
Or else
Really
There was
No point
To live
At all
And that
Is
Just
Not
Acceptable
I’ve survived another suicide
attempt
I’m back from the dead
Once again
It is beyond my comprehension
That every single time
So far
I’ve missed my golden chance
To end it all
I don’t miss my chance on purpose
Every time, I almost reach it
I just know that one day that will be it
I just won’t wake up the next day
I’m always between two minds about it
Would I still feel the same the next
morning?
Once I’m no longer drunk
Once I’m no longer under the influence
Will I still then
Wish to be dead?
After being so certain of it?
The night before?
But what about when I reach that point
Of wishing it
All heartedly
Without even being drunk?
What to make of that?
I reach that very point
Every day now
My God
I’m that close
To end my life
As some sort of useless thing
Not even worth considering
In the cold light of day
Another failed attempt
How sad
Am I just playing with the concept?
You think
You wish
You would never believe anything
Until it fucking happens for real
I don’t miss my chance on purpose
Every time, I almost reach it
I just know that one day that will be it
I won’t wake up the next day
I cannot be trusted, I will fail every
time
You would think I was
The trustable type
Yeah!
Leave it to me!
I’ll take care of everything
Why not?
What are you worried about?
I’ve got a brain
So at least I thought
I’ll deal with it
Get out! Get out…
I can be trusted
I’ll take care of everything
Oh dear
I guess I was wrong
I cannot be trusted
You should never have left
You should never have
Trusted everything to me
I’ve destroyed everything
Just as I thought
Just as expected
It was so easy to reach that point
You would never believe
I cannot be trusted
I destroyed it all
Faster than thinking
About the fact that I had to be doubly careful
about it
I failed
Miserably
Now you’re free to think
Whatever you want about me
I’ll fail you every time
I’m just
Not perfect
I could never be
I never wanted to be
I destroyed everything
And it was to be expected
I knew it
You should have seen it as well
I am not like the others
I am not perfect
I will never be
I’ve always known it
They have told you already
That I was not it
And yet
You did not believe them
You thought I had some sort of potential
How ridiculous
Well
Now you know
There was no hope for me
It took me less than a week
To destroy it all
Now
The only gracious thing to do
Is to announce
My resignation
Something I wanted to ask
For a long time now
One more argument
To justify it
To justify my utter failure
Thank you!
Thank you
For whatever
I’m not sure why
What
Who cares?
I’m gone
I’ve been wrecking my life
For this damn book
Thinking that
This hell
Will somehow be worth it
Because somehow
It will be saying something significant
To you
Well?
Qu’en pensez-vous?
Is it helpful?
Is it making any difference?
Or I am just under the illusion
That this is meaningful?
When it is not?
And could never be?
Am I just destroying myself
In the process?
I think so
I’ve known that
For a damn long time
I’m all alone
On this path of destruction
There’s only one life
That will not survive this adventure
Mine
I’ll have to assume my mistakes
I’ll have to admit my failure
I’ll have to accept
This hell
My hell
I’ve gambled it all
Thinking I was up to it
I was not
I’ll pay
For the consequences
For you
Not being able
To think anything about it
Useless
Dead
What was I thinking?
Vous n’en pensez rien
Sometimes
When you are at the point
Of killing yourself
Some weird and useless memory
Comes back to mind
For no reason
Other than to remind you
That perhaps
You existed before
In some sort of other form of life
Hounslow West
That is what comes back to mind now
How ironic
As I then thought
Of ending it all
There and there
Every single morning was the same
I got up
I walked to Hounslow West
I was listening every morning
To the same music
The one I’m listening to right now ten
years later
As some sort of liberation
From my actual hell
When then
I thought I was in hell
How funny
That now I can think back
On those simpler times
That I feel now
Was a happy time
I was happy then
Without realizing it
For sure
You never know
Until you experience
Something even worse
Hounslow West!
What I thought was hell then
Is paradise now
Let me go back!
Let me go back to these simpler times
When and where I was happy
Hounslow West
Me
My life
My lesser hell
It is still within my reach
It is still there waiting for me
Every morning if I want to
I can be there tomorrow morning
Walking that same path
Listening to the same music
How wonderful
That this is not in the past
Lost forever
Like everything else in my life
Which has been lost forever
Hounslow West
Is the one thing
That in my past
Is still beyond my reach
I’ll do anything
To go back in time
And this time
Fully appreciate
To the fullest
My lesser hell
I’m crying for
I don’t understand
I’ve never cried in my entire life
I am so insensitive
You would never believe
And yet
I’ve been crying so much
In the last few months
I can’t even explain why
I’m not sure
What I’m crying about
What’s wrong with me?
I’m such a bastard anyway
Never thought about anyone or anything
But me
And perhaps some higher archetype
I don’t belong to
I don’t belong to
I belong somewhere else
On this planet
Only one place in this world
Where I could
Pretend
To happiness
Which is some great result
I never thought
Even
That I could belong anywhere
But that is it
I belong to Isleworth
I belong to
My heart ache
For me to return
Forever
And finally
Understand
That I belong there
It is mine forever
I lived right there
I’ve always been living there
Even when I did not even know
It ever existed
I’m bound to it
There’s no denying it now
I cannot be anywhere else in the world
I’ve got to go back to
And die there
This is where I will end it all
This is where I will die
Because there
It is like a virtual world
A dream world
Something that can only exist
In my wildest dreams
And sure enough
It is perhaps real
It seems to exist
In my mind
Surely I did not imagine it all?
Surely if I hurry
I can get back to it?
Never ever again
Will I then
Be separated
From the true and only love of my life
Another legal action against me
What I have done to the world
To be sued like this?
It seems that I cannot write a word anymore
Without enflaming the planet
They all want to sue me
For things I haven’t even said!
How many millions do these people think I
have?
What?
I said you were fat
Big deal
It’s true
Everyone can see it
What?
I said you were crap
Big deal
It’s true
Everyone agrees
What’s wrong with you?
In need of publicity?
A PR machine?
I know some agencies if that is it
They work wonder
Just pump a few millions their way
They will make you, in an instant
Thin and great
They will make the world forget
That I said you were fat and crap
Don’t sue me!
Don’t force me to prove my point
To expose all your defects
Who you really are
Cos I’ll win
Wild in
First thing I did when I arrived in
I jumped into a cab
I asked the Mexican driver
Bring me where the action is!
He dropped me at some studio
I went in
I partied hard all night
Drinks and drugs available freely
We sat down in a corner
Wrote the greatest film script ever
Picked the Class A actors around us as the
cast
Found the rich investors in the back room
Convinced them that this was it
The next big thing
Then we rush for the lawyers lost in
another back room
We told them: here’s a few million dollars
We don’t care if you write that contract
Over the back of that whore you’re jumping
Use her oversized boobs if you need more
space for the small print
And then I was abandoned on the sidewalk
somewhere
With a big contract in my hand
I woke up the next day
Saying
Thank God I’m still alive!
Thank God I did not dream this!
I still have the contract in my hand
Then we shot the film
It was a huge success
And the rest is history
Is this really what you thought you were
going to read about
When you decided to read this book?
I’m sorry to say
I have no contract
I mostly stayed in
Drinking for no good reason
But then again, you don’t need a reason in
And I left
With nothing to show for it
Bored out of my mind
But don’t worry about me
You’re reading this after all
Desperately Seeking Pubic Lice
Lotion in
When I first arrived in
I met the most gorgeous actress
There is under the sun
I had great sex with her
I just love to fuck young blonde actresses
There’s one at every corner in
And then I called her back
She did not answer the phone
I was wondering what was wrong with me
Perhaps I was inadequate
Maybe I came too fast
Or is it when I told her I wanted to be an
actor myself?
She must have freaked out when I asked to
meet all her producers
And then one morning I understood
Why she was not calling back
I discovered a lot of new little friends
that she gave me
She presented me to her producers after all
And now I am desperately seeking
Pubic lice lotion
So I calmed down
I stopped meeting actresses for a while
I cleaned myself
I decided, why not go for the big wigs
instead?
Maybe they’re clean of little friends?
I slept with the most disgusting man on the
planet
He was old
He was fat
He was ugly
And that was only matched by how much power
he has
And how big his wallet is
And then, I called him back
He did not answer the phone
I was wondering what was wrong with me
Perhaps I was insufficient
Maybe it is because I did not ejaculate?
Or is it when I told him I wanted him to
finance my next sci-fi blockbuster?
Well, I only needed half a billion dollars
after all
That’s nothing for him
And then one morning I understood
Why he was not calling back
I discovered a lot of new little friends
that he gave me
He gave me a lot of
And now I am desperately seeking
Again
Pubic lice lotion
And that my friends
Is the end of my adventures in
All I was able to find in my daring quest
Was a lot of new little friends
They suck your blood dry slowly
They multiply to infinity
If not treated
They kill you in the end
This is
All that there is to expect
A town full of pubic lice
Waiting to suck you dry
Now go and experience it for yourself!
And don’t forget
You’re little bottles of pubic lice lotion!
That’s all you really need to succeed
In
How can it be otherwise?
This world is trying its hardest
To screw us up completely
Until
No humanity can remain
I am!
Completely screwed up
Years of therapy will be necessary
To make sense of anything
I have ever said
I’m out of my mind
I do not know what I am doing
I am like a machine
Accomplishing the same tasks
Over and over and over
Again and again and again
I do not know where I am!
I don’t understand
What it is that I do!
I’m so lost…
I need saving
As I have lost everything
I do not possess anything anymore
I never possessed anything
I barely acknowledge
That I might
Have existed
Somewhere, for a while
And then somewhere else
For a while
I have the weirdest accent
From all those countries I am from
I can be from anywhere
Nobody knows
Nobody needs to know
That I am from nowhere
Completely screwed up
That’s what I am
Don’t try to make sense of anything
It does not make sense
Or else, I’d be happy
Happy go lucky
Lucky as hell
Maybe I am
Who knows
I’m confused
I’m screwed up
Your greatest achievement
For sure
I’ve seen it!
I’ve seen it all!
I’m from everywhere!
I have witnessed everything
There is on this Earth
You will not teach me tricks
I know them all
I thought I was screwed up
I understand now
That you are
Screwed up
Completely screwed up
And I am just plain normal
I died that night…
On the longest road ever
Going all the way to the North
Where there are no more cities
No more people
I’m listening to the most
Provocative music ever
Meaningful music
Going at an astonishing
On ice
While the snow is raging
God
This is happiness
This is the ultimate moment
Running along so fast
Trees passing by
Snow not slowing anyone
Just pure craziness
Seeing ghosts
Making weird decisions
Putting one’s life
Back into question
Right there
I made the most spectacular accident
I died for sure
Many times over
In all these parallel universes
I felt it deep
I am the only one left alive
Living to tell the tale
Of how crazy I was that night
Being alive for a change
Listening to the darkest music there is
I was already gone
I was already dead
I was asking for it
I was desperate
On this lone road going up North
Forever
Might as well have been
The only road to the North Pole
I was so alive!
I was alone
And I died
Many times over
I felt it
We all died that night
Now I am the only survivor
I should have just died
Like all the others
I feel
So
Alone!
I’m telling you
I know
I died that night…
Where have you been?
Don’t tell me
It does not matter
You could not have gone
Anywhere of any significance
It’s nothing
Compared with where I am
I’m out of this world
I’ve always been
My brain does not register
So many nights
Of being out of my mind
Does not matter
I tell you
It’s nothing
Don’t worry
I don’t care
You can’t understand
I’m out of here!
Tonight I am alive!
It is all in my mind
Full of deception
My own imagination
I can be so powerful you know
You do not matter
You never did
I’m out of it
I live in a different universe
Sometimes I’m dead
Sometimes I just don’t realize I’m alive
But
Tonight, I am alive
I am filled with all the power there is
I am electrified!
I have been living much more
In my mind than
In this reality
I discovered that a long time ago
I knew
I have always known that I was different
I am just incompatible with life
I never found myself
Anywhere
I never liked to be with people
I have always loved
To be alone
Then, and only then
Can I be myself
And so powerful
More alive than anyone has ever been
You will never know
What it means
To be alive
For a change
It’s all in the mind
When you’re far gone
And have always been
Tonight, I am alive!
Written everywhere
In every religious book
Here is the lone line
Most wanted
Forever and ever
I shall be free!
And yet
No one is
We have not been saved
We have not been liberated
From religion
From politics
From social hierarchy
We are not free!
And shall never be!
You can die here tonight
You can eat your words
Your commands
Your powers
Because
I shall be free!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Shut up!
This just won’t do
You do not understand
Get out of my way!
Listen!
I shall be free!
I’ll make it happen
I’ll obliterate you
From space if necessary
I’ll find a way
To make you disappear forever
I shall be free!
You’ll never understand
You do not know the meaning
You are lost
Brainwashed
I am not
I shall be free!
Who are you?
To decide for me?
To tell me what to do?
To stop me in my tracks
To condemn me
To a life of misery?
If no one is capable
Of telling you
How insignificant you are
I’ll prove it to you
I’ll erase you from history
I shall be free!
This is beyond anything anyone has ever
known
This is greater than the universe
It is the ultimate pursuit of existence
Beyond anything there ever was
Beyond
There is no other way
No one can stop it
Mark my word
Forever and ever
I shall be free!
That’s my life!
This is my purpose
This is what defines me
I’m still capable
Of disconnecting myself
Completely
From this world
There is still hope for me
As long as I can
Move away
Place myself outside of it
Comprehend
The pettiness of this world
And understand
That I am not part of it
That I live way beyond it
There is still hope for me
I can replace myself
In the right context
Where I am
On my course towards
My real destiny
And see everything else
As meaningless
Not really existing
Cannot be affected by anything
Really
I’m just an observer
Reporting
This is my duty
And yet I’m just a spy
I do not suffer
I learn and I report
That’s my real job
And then I am removed from it all
I move on
I go and learn somewhere else
And report something else
I do not suffer
I don’t have the time for that
I am disconnected
I am never really there
Never there for long anyway
Just the time to take the pulse
Of the nation
And I’m gone
That’s just perfect for me
Never less than six months
Never more than a year
Just enough to never suffer
Just enough to feel
Disconnected from it all
Just enough for it all
To feel like it is a game
That I play for a while
Before disappearing forever
Towards new horizons
What a life!
Of suffering
But never for too long
I’m beyond that
As long as I understand this
As long as I can integrate that
There is still hope for me
You must think I’m an old pervert
Considering what I am about to do
With my life
I’m sure
You must think I’m an old pervert
That I am insanity reincarnated
A negative force of nature which needs to
be eradicated
You would be right
I’m out of control
I am the anarchist of your destiny
I
confront the truth
I confront the taboos
I’ll make it my business
I’ll make sure all these subjects are
debated to death
It is my duty
There’s method in my madness
I’m far from being what you think I am
Because you will always fail to see the
irony
I’m laughing at you
I’m having fun at your expense
And I’ll make a fortune on the back of it
Not without reaching certain respectable
goals
These taboo subjects need to be debated
Talked about
Understood
Who else but me
Can make sure of it?
Solving all the real problems of humanity
Solving instantly every single neurosis
By making sure that we do talk about
What is shameful
Psychological blockage
Can’t talk about that
Yes we can
Talk about that
This is the irony of it
Within years I’ll be a rich man
And I will have helped this world beyond belief
Just by
Bringing up taboos
And making sure we debate them all
To death
Notice of Resignation, The Perfect Sample
Letter
Please
accept this letter as my notice of resignation, effective today
Finally!
I got the courage to tell you to get lost!
This
wasn't an easy decision
You
bet! The easiest I have ever made
Because
I am grateful for the rewarding employment I've had with your company
Ah!
One more week, I would have been dead, or I would have killed everyone
But
after long hours of consideration
Well,
one long second in fact
I have
made my decision and it is now final
Don’t
you think to do me a counter offer,
you
would need to sack the whole office before I even reconsider my decision
I will
shortly after return to
You
can keep your
It's
been a great pleasure working with you
A
fucking nightmare that was
I wish
you continued success
Well
in fact, I could not care less
Please
feel free to call on me if I can help to ensure a smooth transition
Don’t
call us, we won’t call you
Sincerely
Go fuck yourself!
Leaving
How could I?
How can I turn my back
To what I always deeply wanted?
Have I not reached paradise?
Is it not where I always wanted to be?
I’ve got a good reason
You will never believe it
Love!
I’m leaving
With the greatest smile
Any face as ever seen
Because I’m in love
You cannot understand
What this really means
Because you don’t know
That I have never been capable of love
Sex, desire, complacency
Yeah!
But love?
That’s not me
I never knew what that was
And yet
Here I am
Leaving all my dreams behind
For a concept
Which has long passed its passed date
A desperate kind of love
A love with no future
And I’m not talking infatuation here
This relationship has gone on for over ten
years
After ten years
Love is usually dead
We’re condemned to go to a restaurant
Ignoring our partner
Not saying a word
Being more interested in
What’s happening at the table next door
We are then usually in dream mode
Hoping to be with someone else
Altogether
Hoping perhaps that something unexpected
will happen
That the Prince Charming will sweep us from
our reality
And start living all over again
The right way this time
Where this impossible and unreachable love
Will mean everything
Well
It has been years now
We have a family
Of cats, snakes, tortoises, fish and a dog
And I am deeply in love
I cannot imagine myself anywhere else in
the world
Oh shit
Here I am
Crying again
Get a grip!
There are bastards to be fought
There are points to be made
There are dreams to be accomplished
What is love in all this?
Nothing!
If anything
This is what will destroy a great destiny
And yet I can’t help it
I’m already sold to love
I’m going back to
For
Nice town, with a few studios and weird
people
A few religious fanatics
And lots of artifice!
Price: only five dollars!
A bargain!
For
One American President
Used but perhaps still good to clean floors
Small in nature with ideas of grandeur
Religious freak, excellent to unblock your
pipes and sinuses
A real cure to constipation
Has been the shame of the country
And we just decided we no longer needed him
Perhaps you can put him to good use in some
other country
Should not be allowed to be more than a
mayor of a small town in the North Pole
Or else, he might get out of control and
annihilate the planet
Price: one American dollar
A bargain!
For
One big American Corporate World
Price: 50 billion dollars
On one condition only
We never want to hear from it ever again!
Buy it, bury it, and make it disappear for
good
No more slavery
No more all mighty managers and directors
No more lives belonging to companies
No more 8 to 4 or 9 to 5 and overtime
We can even let you have it at a discount
Adjusted price: 5 cents
A bargain!
For
One huge Plasma TV!
Connected directly to your brain!
The American Dream come true
Day and night
We’ll give away a 24 pack of beers with it
We’ll take your winging wife in parts and
exchange
And you can finally do what you were meant
to do all your life
Watch TV in Surround Sound with 25 or so
Speakers and Woofers
Without the need for a boring daily job
Or a stupid wife in the background
wondering
Why you still haven’t got a job
We also sell a children exterminator
You can get rid of them right here right
now!
Just put them in the machine
And poof… they’re gone!
It is simplicity itself
Peace on a massive scale
Isn’t it the time for you to sort your life
out?
We’ve got the solution to all your problems
Price: priceless
it will always be useless
What are your achievements?
To someone out of your world
Who does not give a shit?
Useless
Totally useless
Are you making a difference?
Oh yeah?
Fascinating
I don’t give a shit
And hence
You’re useless
I don’t care if you’re rich as a
consequence
I don’t care if you’re recognized in your milieu
I don’t care!
You’re nothing to me
And hence
You’re nothing
What are you to God?
What are you to Destiny?
Who are you, really?
Nothing
Don’t get me going
I could go on all night
You do not impress me
You seem like nothing to me
What are you talking about?
Are you so disconnected?
Or am I?
Do me a favor
Just get lost!
Living beyond everyone’s
expectations
Being entrusted with a mission
To live up to everyone’s expectations
You cannot fail
I’m sorry
There’s no possible excuse here
You’ve got to go beyond expectations
The simplest rule
The most basic law
Use your imagination!
Use everything you’ve got!
You’ve got to live to expectations
No other choice available
Second rate stuff is obvious
Rehash stuff is unforgivable
Beyond expectations
Think about it
And think further
Originality
Never thought before
Beyond the recycling of old ideas
Forget about it!
Forget it!
That’s not new…
Where have you been living for the last 100
years?
You need to know everything there is under
the sun
You need to move beyond it
That’s what we call beyond expectation
If you heard it before
If anyone heard of it before
I’m sorry
It won’t do
Imagination is beyond boundaries
Some things are not old under the sun
Think it!
Make it come true!
I don’t care if you have to read 1000 books
to get there
Read anthologies and almanacs
Rethink it all!
Re-invent it all!
New blood
Is what is required
Or else, we’ll never go anywhere
Are you capable?
Of re-inventing the wheel?
You better be
Or else
You might just as well
Die
You have no choice
You have to
Live beyond anyone’s expectations
Now, tell me
Am I succeeding?
In living beyond all expectations?
Do we need to alienate the whole
world?
Do I need to alienate the whole planet?
In order to make a point?
A statement?
About what this world is all about?
Well I did
Alienate the whole planet
In what I consider to be
My best page ever written
And I’m sorry I did
This actual last page is not the one you
should be reading
It was just too extreme
It was just too truthful
It was just too painful
And at that point
You simply shut down
Not listening to a word I said
You jumped into attack mode
I must be destroyed at any cost
Cos I’ve hurt you deeply
Where it hurts the most
Your true nature
All exposed here for all to read and see
And all you could do to stop it all
Was to annihilate me
Make me disappear from this world
As quickly as possible
Making sure that no one will ever hear the
truth
About what you are actually doing in this world
Who you really are
Ultimate destruction of just about
everything and everyone
That I’m saying here
In the vaguest terms
So no one will feel like I am attacking
them
So that no one will feel like
Sending me back to my mother’s womb
Where obviously
I should have never come out from in the
first place
And this is true
I was unexpected
Not wanted
So be it
If I have to censor myself
To reach any of you
I will have to
What choice do I have?
No need to alienate the whole planet just
yet
I’ll keep that last page for myself
For now
But one day
It will come out
You will be directly attacked
You will not be able to stop me
Because at that point
I will no longer care
If I alienate the whole planet
Or not
Such a powerful page
That it could have such an impact on this
world
No worry
I’ve censored myself
In order to reach some of you
In order to prevent your complete shut down
Standing in front of the truth
Stopping you from thinking a bit
From considering what you are all about
There’s no freedom of speech in this world
But one day
There will be
And that day
You will have to see yourself for what you
really are
Sleep well tonight
This day has not yet arrived
I’ve censored myself
Like the rest of the world
I have decided
To not alienate the whole planet
Just yet
When I know damn well
That I should
Do I need to alienate the whole planet?
Yes I do
Not sure why
Not sure if it serves a purpose
Is it worth it?
If I have to destroy myself in the process?
Am I making any sort of difference?
I think so
I know so
Do I need to alienate the whole planet?
Yes I do!
One day I will
Be much more extreme
Talking in no uncertain terms
I will tell it all
Just as it is
I will attack you directly
No more censorship
Your corruption
Your lies
Your insanity
Your destruction
I will
Tell it all
Just as it should be
Do we need to alienate the whole planet?
If we want in any way
To build a better world?
Where love and altruism could actually mean
something?
The answer is
In no unequivocal terms
Yes!
So
Just pick it up
From where I left it
Short of
Alienating the whole planet
For one sheep
Lost amongst the billions
For someone who was not supposed to be
In the first place
What one unwanted life
Can do to this world
To change it irretrievably
Beyond recognition
What a great destiny!
I have lived! And now I can die…
Have you lived?
Have you got out of where you were born?
Have seen the world as I saw it?
Have you lived everywhere
Your heart was telling you to go?
Have you broke free
From just about everything
Ready to stop you to achieve your dreams?
No
Then you do not deserve to die
You have not seen the world
You know nothing about what’s out there
Get up!
Get out!
Explore the world
Listen to your sense of adventure
Forget everyone standing up in your way
Push them away!
You will see that world for yourself
You will live there for years
It will mean everything to you
You will achieve your dreams!
No one can stand in your way
The world won’t listen
Why should you?
Change country
Find out for yourself
That it is the just the same
But until you find out for yourself
You just don’t know
You cannot just die yet
You have not seen anything
You have not lived
How sad would it be
To die
Without having at least lost your
illusions?
Your dreams!
Find out first that there’s no hope
To ever make you happy in this world
Before abandoning it
Who knows
You might get lucky
You might actually find what you’re looking
for
I thought I did
In
Now I know I was wrong
I’ve met everyone!
I’ve seen the world!
I have lived!
And now I can die…