The
Fat Ghost Hunters
This film will pretend to be doing a documentary about two very fat ghost hunters who have created their own little investigation organization. Rupert and Adelaide Eddington are very common and have no manner, but they are portrayed in a very realistic way and they do try to be classy with their fake British accent that gives them a snobbish quality. Their son William is very thin, unimpressed and angry at them for no particular reason (just as a 15 year old son should be!). A production crew follows them with cheap Sony DV Cams or perhaps cameras using Mini DV tapes. There will be three stops that our investigators will investigate. The first stop sees them walking around a cemetery reported as being haunted. We will see them walking around the tombstones, asking questions to nobody in particular and recording everything as they go along. Back at home, using their computer, we understand that they have recorded images and voices of ghosts. The second stop is a haunted lighthouse (or anything else) where they will meet a strange crazy medium who appears to be inventing quite a lot of history, seeing dead people and telling their stories. Our investigators laugh at her and don't find her to be credible until they get back home and realize the voices they recorded corroborate what she was seeing and saying. Something strange will happen at the lighthouse, they will have the fright of their life. The third and last stop will be quite fascinating and central to the movie. They are to investigate the ruins of a castle in the countryside. When they arrive there though, the castle appears intact and very nice indeed. They catch some life inside and when they approach the stairs, they see a monk running away. A nice lady wearing a white and grandiose dress walks on the grass then disappears. It is only when they reach the end of the property on their way out that some peasants explain to them that the castle is in ruins, it does not make sense. Monks and a beautiful Lady used to live there, but 300 years ago. When they go back, the castle is in ruins. Follows a great press conference to show their findings and try to explain what happened, nobody believes them despite the evidence. The movie ends with the fat husband dying and a monologue by the wife though the son will be there whining in the background. When she realizes that her monologue was being recorded, she listens to it in reverse and she hears her husband talking to her and reassuring her and her son. It should be very sad and realistic.
The interest of doing such a film is that it can cost virtually nothing and no more than 3 takes can be made of any scene. It can be wobbly and not perfect as it is supposed to be a cheap documentary. Even if you don't have the budget to make the White Lady disappears, the camera at that point can go blank as the battery might have gone empty completely when the apparition appears (it is often the case when you investigate ghosts). The only remaining problem is to find a castle that is both in ruins and intact, so you can film one part when they are in the past, and the other when they are in the present. Perhaps two similar castles, one in ruins and one rebuilt, could be found. If all this fail, there is also the possibility to find a nice house where perhaps there are many similar ones around. One would need to be half destroyed. In England it should not be too difficult, all the houses are identical. You have cities with 1 million of the exact same house, it is quite impressive to see actually. Though the investigators are very fat, it should not become grotesque and they should not become caricatures. It should be funny to see them going along their business as usual, nothing more. They should be a fascination to look at without jokes to make it funny. This sort of easy humor would quickly destroy the idea of this film, even though it could be exploited in a subtle manner. The woman might fall, they might have problems getting in a small car or moving around. And they should eat a lot, seven meals a day, without the movie becoming gross. This could easily become the most interesting part of the movie, even though the paranormal side of it should be what steals the interest of the film. To get more information about explaining these ghosts and the world they live in, and how our characters can go into the past, it is essential to read my report about Invisibility as it will be the basis of what they will discuss in the movie (how they can explain ghosts and two different times in history meeting together): www.themarginal.com/invisibility.htm
Like Schizo (and this idea was supposed to be incorporated into Schizo but I decided it could be a movie on its own) this film is about showing to the world that it is possible to record ghosts talking and living somewhere else and that the universe the mediums are reaching can be recorded on our day to day technology. It is a film that is trying to show that there is a world out there where certain people go when they die and that we can reach out for it.
The movie starts with the pair preparing themselves for the hunt. They are going to pass the night in a cemetery. The son William cannot believe it, he thinks his parents are mad and that he must be the only student in all his school that has parents chasing ghosts all night long in a cemetery. A big argument ensues. Ultimately Adelaide tells her son to go to his room. When she comes back she is hungry and she decides to prepare a big meal. The son shouts from his room that it is not the time yet for their seventh meal of the day. Adelaide is a bit embarrassed in front of the cameramen and tries to justify herself, that they barely have four meals a day now and she starts cooking. You could believe looking at her that she was preparing a meal for 50 people. Once all their gadgets are all sorted out and that they are ready to leave, she goes and kisses her son goodbye and the whole team leaves for the cemetery.
Once at home they transfer everything to the computer. They use a simple application to filter the background noise and to listen to very low frequencies. They get their answers: I am Helena Stringfell or Stringfield or Springfield (the voice is all distorted and we are not certain if this is what the ghost says), I will kill you all! (a man's voice), they did this to me (a child's voice), Get out you fat bastards, leave us alone! A bit embarrassing for the couple, they try to make it as if the last message is not really what is evident, without success. They are not deterred by this and then move on to the films. They can distinguish some images of people, some of them moving in between the graves. They believe this was a successful night and they put their evidence online on their little website they built together, leaving out the message about the fat bastards. They are going to bed because tomorrow they are visiting a haunted lighthouse.
When they arrive on sight, Mr. Princeton appears to be unhappy by what he believes to be a waste of time. He never wanted to be there in the first place, he was forced by Ms Leone. He now believes that he his surrounded by a bunch of lunatics and that nothing will come out from all this. Ms Leone thanks the Eddingtons for coming, they too appear to doubt the powers of that weird and eccentric woman, the type you meet in the Psychic Fairs. Before they go in Ms Leone launch into the fact that she can see a woman at the top of the tower crying and that she just jumped down the tower. When she looks at an invisible woman falling and that the woman apparently falls to the ground, she acts like if she suffered the impact herself, with exaggerated noises and movements. She affirms that the woman was pushed by her husband and that her name is… her name is… Saree… or Sarah… MacFarlane. She used to be living here some 70 years ago. Everyone starts laughing until the owner Mr. Princeton confirms that Sarah and Harry MacFarlane used to be in charge of the lighthouse many years ago. Still, our fat investigators believe Ms Leone did some research before coming here tonight and they say so. Inside it is a bit dark and no one feel at ease. In a dark corridor Adelaide starts shouting very loudly, she claims someone or something grabbed her hair in the dark. She says that she has problems breathing and she feels like crying. Ms Leone confirms that she saw the woman again, crying and saying that her husband used to lock her at the top of the tower. Everybody feel very cold and shivery. When they reach the top of the tower it looks like the place has not been opened for years. Adelaide starts asking her questions: what is your name, why do you haunt this place, what were you doing in this lighthouse? Ms Leone answers all the questions as if possessed by Sarah MacFarlane. She tries to throw herself by the window, like Sarah did in the past, and everyone stops her just in time before the jump. She then loses consciousness and falls on the ground. When comes the time to leave, they don't know what to make of all this and in the van, on their way back, they cannot believe the show that medium pull out for them. They don't believe a word of all she did and said. She was over the top. Once the data is in their computers, they realize that the medium was right. And they can hear Sarah crying and the sound coming towards them as if she was falling on the ground from the top of the tower. Then we can hear the voice suffering from a fall. When comes the time to listen to the answers Adelaide asked, every time Ms Leone answers the question, when they play the tape in reverse, they can hear a woman giving the same answers in a disembodied voice: I am Sarah MacFarlane, I live here, I guide the ships toward the light. They are blown away.
So we can see them walking toward the castle. Strange, there is a big farm house with flowers and vegetables on the way to the castle and they thought this no longer existed. Even stranger, the castle does not appear to be in ruins. It appears to be inhabited as they can see fading lights coming from the windows, like if they were candles or oil lamps. They can see someone coming towards them and he appears to be wearing a black priest's robe. When he sees them he looks afraid and runs away. They get inside the castle, people appear to be living there like if it was the reconstitution of a play to teach visitors the past history of the castle. They think there must be a lot of tourists to justify such an investment in a lost place like that. Then they see a woman dressed with clothes from 300 years ago panicking when she sees them. She shouts in old English to leave the premises at once and to never come back. They try to explain why they are here but she grasps some sort of metal bar and they all run out of the castle. Outside they see a Lady wearing a grandiose white dress walking very straight and ignoring them. She finally disappears. They all decide it is time to leave the premises. On their way back they cannot find the farm with the flowers and the vegetables, they are afraid they might be lost and it is getting dark outside. But they reach the barrier and they can see their van. They meet again the people they saw earlier on and they ask them what is going on. The castle was intact and there were strangers dressed like in the last century living in there. They are asking if perhaps this was the wrong castle, they were looking for ruins. They tell them that the castle was in ruins, that they must be mistaken. And when asked about the farm house with the flowers, they confirm it has been burnt by fire more than 150 years ago. And for the Lady in White and the Monk, there were people with this description living there more than 300 years ago. When they hear all this, everyone decide to return to the castle. Once again they don't see the farm house and the castle is in ruins, there is no mistake about it. They film everything and they leave. Later at a press conference they explain their story and show the photos and films on a screen. Everyone ask questions but you can tell they don't believe a word of what they say. Some questions are ironic and turn sour when the crowd starts making fun of their weight. At that point we can see Adelaide and Rupert looking at each other and agreeing to leave, not before their son launch into an attack towards the crowd, defending his parents as he was also a witness and he is not crazy. While getting up his chair, Rupert puts his hand on his heart and falls unconscious to the floor. We can hear Adelaide screaming that she wants an ambulance.
The Husband's Death and Beyond the Grave
William then picks up the tape recorder and understands it is recording. He stops the recording and go to dump the data into the computer. They can hear Rupert telling Adelaide to stop crying, that he is happy where he is, he can hear them and see them and he does not regret anything. He wants them to continue to live happily and forget the world of the dead as the world of the living is what really matters.
Roland Michel Tremblay  
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