Changing Your Future

Don’t be so surprised to see my name under such a title. I understand that it is the complete opposite of everything I have written up until now. I suspect that it will not matter much to most of you, since you will most probably stumble upon this book without knowing who I am and what I may have written before.

This book represents a new part of me which I believe has been trying to get out for a very long time now. At least a few years, where I told myself I needed now to concentrate on more positive things, positive thinking, and as the expression goes, then maybe everything will become nicer in my life, I could find this most sought after freedom and happiness.

It is true that I cannot see how anything could ever make me happy if first I cannot see or even think about anything that could make me happy. It is also true that I could not find happiness if I am not even able to identify one thing in my life which could bring me happiness. And how to even feel free if all I can see is all that keeps me away from my freedom?

Is it perhaps that freedom is only something in the mind? Is it possible that you can manufacture within your own existence a feeling of being free, a feeling of happiness and wellbeing, simply by convincing yourself that it can be so? Is this all a psychological universe and it becomes what you project it to be, and via auto-hypnosis or drugs you will eventually find exactly what you have been looking for? Walking beside the garbage cans outside, the people shouting at one another like if there was no tomorrow, your soul destroying managers at work, whilst inside you are feeling absolute freedom, infinite happiness, infinite wisdom, with a perpetual smile on your face with flowers everywhere, all in your mind, while ignoring to witness all the destruction around you?

My God! If this is possible at all, I have to give it a try. I have to reach that level of satisfaction, of appreciation of life, of manufactured happiness and freedom, and see if in time I can actually witness a change. See if suddenly the world around me will change for the better, and see if I can finally find peace this way.

This book will be the complete opposite of everything I have written so far, I am of such a pessimistic nature, depressive and suicidal. How in the world could I be writing a self-help book? When all my life, it seems, all I have done is to inspire people better ways to end their existence? I wouldn’t be saying it here so clearly if it wasn’t true.

Well, this is an essay, an exercise to try to bring more positivism in my life. I am not certain how successful this will be, if I will abandon it eventually. I certainly do intend to be honest here, as I always am, no point starting to lie to you or to myself. I am still trying to figure out what this existence might all be about, I certainly do not intend to tell you what it is, or even I don’t intend without doubt to find out what it is. It is a quest.

What is it that prompted me to write this book? Good question. Easy it would have been for me to see how dark and destructive everything I have written so far is, and think, oh I know, let’s write something positive for a change. It will balance it all, it is logical. I’m afraid not, it does not work like that. Someone writing a book praising communism will not immediately write another praising capitalism. You can replace communism and capitalism with anything else like praising religion and atheism.

You could only expect such an exploit from someone who has gone through some life changing event, and even so, you would quickly state that he must be lying, since he would be contradicting himself so spectacularly. Such a man would also tell you that his previous books were a mistake and should not be read, I however do not feel my previous books or my life up until now were a mistake. I certainly learnt a great deal from them, just as I will learn something totally different now writing this book and going through significant changes within my existence.

Contradiction is a good thing, it opens up your horizons, especially if one is an explorer and an adventurer. You go through different stages in your life, you struggle to get somewhere and understand the existence and the universe we live in, and you write what you feel like writing at specific times in your life. It all helps.

It helped me a great deal to write such dark books, and I am sure it will help many others at that same stage in their personal development who think along the same lines. I will not say even that I no longer believe in what I have written before, even if I am about to state heretic propositions within this book, like I now believe in God and there was a creation. Because it is quite possible that tomorrow night, I will be right back to confirming to you that there is no God and there was no creation.

What I am stating here does not necessarily reflect what I truly believe or thought for most of my life. As I said, it is an essay, an exercise. If I were to believe in all this, let’s see where it could lead me, let’s see what I could write. Let’s talk about love, the spirit world, angels, guardian angels, witches if necessary, and how the get rich quick schemes by thought alone could actually work in practice, and if so, how? What sort of laws of nature could permit such impossibility? By the time you finish reading this book, you will be so filthy rich, you will die in ecstasy somewhere outside under a tree on top of a mythical mountain.

Oh, by the way, I have to tell you that I am always ironic and grounded, this is perhaps why this book will seem refreshing to you, I will not lie to you. If I don’t think it at the time of writing it, I won’t say it. And yet, what you are about to read will break all boundaries, if you believe it, it will change your life just like it changed mine.

I am about to state my own personal experience, and review what others have said upon the same subject. And it is quite extraordinary, it changes everything we thought about the universe and its inner workings. And yet, I cannot deny that this is true, and so someone will have to bring me a better explanation about what the universe is all about and our purpose within it. This at least has been my main concern from the very beginning of my writing career, when I was 10 years old, 25 years ago. So it is not so out of character for me to be writing this book now.

I am going to talk about changing your future for the better, how by simple thought, with no hassle, you can change your life so spectacularly, you will think only a miracle could have made this come true. I will also review the Law of Attraction of William Walker Atkinson and Esther Hicks, and by extension The Secret of Rhonda Byrne.

New Age kind of stuff, something I never truly believed in, though I kept a curious eye upon it from afar. This also resonates with what I read in The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception by Max Heindel, a book I read decades ago when I was just a teenager (closer to 10 years old than 20 in fact). I will also look at other motivators by profession and other books about getting rich quick by thought alone. I am in the process of reading all these books again and see what it can bring me. I will however not wait to have read them all before writing. I write as it comes, as I always did. Not that I am channelling here anything from any other entity, though it is possible, I am not aware of it.

So now that you have been warned, I’m sure you know if this is a book for you to read or not. If not, then visit my website and pick up any other book I have written, it should be right where you are now, desperate to understand a world of desperation running towards its own self-destruction.

And don’t worry, at this time of writing this, I am pretty much certain that this is still where I am now, though I am struggling desperately to find a way out. And this book at this time is my only identified way out. I am hoping it will work, otherwise I might as well shoot myself right now.

However, I should no longer think in those terms, I can no longer offer anyone reading me, at least within this book, any kind of negative thought or image. Remember it, that negative image of one shooting himself, because it marks a new departure, that from now on this is no longer acceptable. And when this image comes, it is time to re-assess oneself and take control over our own thoughts, because thoughts… because thoughts are… when controlled… the beginning of creation, the creation of our own experience, of our own existence. Our thoughts could be the creation of new universes out there in the infinite of space.

And now you know I have reached rock bottom one too many times. That I have now converted to Jesus Christ and I will chant the glory of God to anyone who wishes to hear it or not. I am now sold to Esther Hicks and Rhonda Byrne’s flock and will help them make their millions through their excessive marketing and products they sell.

Well… no. I am no parrot, reading what others said, and re-stating it here in a nicely packaged marketing product. In fact, I tell you that I have not changed from who I was before, far from it. I am also not inviting you at all to read Esther Hicks, William Walker Atkinson or Rhonda Byrne or anyone else.

And if I mention them here, it is only for one reason. What they write about, is something I have myself experienced before, most likely by accident, and I have been searching for answers ever since. And answers, they provide loads. However I need to identify if it fits my own experience, if it rings true at every level. And though I will take from them what seems right, I will also reject from them what I cannot really feel or experience myself.

Overall, this is not a self-help book, it is a book trying to identify and understand how and why self-help books work so well. I am first and foremost writing this book for myself. If you find it helpful, because somehow it may be asking and helping to answer questions you have had yourself, then it is a bonus and let’s talk about it. I just hope that in the process I do not distort the message of any of the authors I will be talking about, and if so, please point it out to me.

First of all you can read what I discovered all by myself following an email I received one day years ago. This is what I have written after understanding how successful I have been at changing my life overnight with a minimum of effort. So minimal in fact, that this whole book can be resumed to one sentence, and you would not need to read any further: Just wish it, be convinced and it happens. Anything else will just confuse you and bring about a lower success rate. However, I feel the need to understand how and why this works, and this book is an attempt at understanding what is the universe we’re living in and what is the purpose of the human beings within it, if any.

You will test this, with the sentence I gave you, and then come back to this book to try to understand and find some answers to this phenomenon. It is after all quite puzzling, because it does work, and it goes against everything we have been taught, everything we have come to believe in.

What kind of universe can instantly provide what you ask for? What are the mechanics of this existence which can permit such miracles? What have we missed, how can we explain it? Those are the questions I will be trying to answer whilst reviewing what others have said on the subject. But first, you can read my self-help bit on the subject, which I have written before reading anything else on the subject. Afterwards I develop further in order to explain the phenomenon, and review what others said about this phenomenon.

PART I

Changing your future

Attempt at explaining how to change the future, the past and the present in order to have a better life and prospects. Can we change our future by thought alone, are there some technology or processes that could help? Praying, hex, psychologists, psychic abilities and science views. What is the best way to change your future?

Can we change the future?

I was recently contacted by someone who claimed he could switch timelines in order to make his life better. He said he could change his past by concentration and some ritual involving memory, alcohol, a huge fight with someone for energy build up and certitude that his life had changed.

What would be your first reaction to that? You would have told him to go and find a good doctor. However this phenomenon was not new to me, I have been able to influence my future with fantastic results, and it did imply that the past had to be changed for these results to come to fruition.

Of course, I had to be left in the dark about that past. Only what I did not know about could still be changed, or else I would have known something was not quite right with reality and I would have freaked out. Despite this little paradox, the past can change and you can witness it, although it is hard to remember.

Can we change the future? I would say yes. Can we be certain that we have changed the future? I would say no. And that is the first law of changing timelines. You can never be certain if the results are not just a string of wild coincidences even when the results could only be described as a miracle.

It is only by convincing yourself that you had anything to do with the results, that you in fact influenced them, that you can be convinced that it works wonder. Certainty has a big part to play in order to change your future. If you are certain it has changed, if you are certain an outcome will happen, then it will most likely happen. If you have any doubts, even a slight one, it might not work.

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World of statistics and probabilities

There is also the realm of statistics and probabilities to be considered. For example, how probable is it that you could win the lottery? We tried and we failed. Though it is not excluded that you could succeed in time if you were to develop a strong discipline, since my correspondent did succeed in getting all six winning numbers of the 6/49 lottery on a sheet of paper, 20 minutes before they appeared on the TV. However he did not buy the winning ticket in that instance.

Another example. How likely are you to become a successful writer if you have never even written a book? This looks very unlikely. If for instance you have already written a book, then the probability of becoming a successful author is likely to be possible and should not require many changes in your timeline to obtain that result.

How likely are you to lose weight overnight, stop drinking, smoking or taking drugs? These are different issues which need to be taken from a different angle. What would make you lose weight in time? What would make you stop smoking or drinking? This is where you need to work on these problems. Would money help you do these things? Would meeting the right people who went through this and know the solutions to your problem something that could make you stop? You then need to wish for money or meeting someone who will change your life in order to tackle your other problems you wish to change.

You need to be realistic in the deadline you give yourself for something to happen. Losing weight takes time, it is de-motivating, it is hard. You then need to wish for a starting event which will change your mind and get you through this long process successfully.

Something important to consider about probabilities. There are too many variables to be considered to start to work out what are the probabilities of an event. With lottery it is simple, you have one chance out of 14,000,000. But it is not true. There is in fact a 50-50 chance you will win the lottery when it comes to changing your future. You either win, or you lose. This is what is so wonderful about all this.

What are the chances that a company from L.A. will contact me and offer me a job? And suddenly learn that they have to sort out my visa, and still want to employ me after that? I would have said zero two weeks ago, or at the very least one chance out of a billion. In reality, it was 50-50. There is a 50% chance that a company will contact me and offer me a job out of here, or 50% chance that no company will contact me. This is quite important to understand.

Results are too wild and improbable for you to start thinking in terms of real probabilities and statistics. Once you start trying to change your future, it works beyond hope, beyond statistics and probabilities. In fact, thinking too much about probabilities could lead to failure. You could start believing that it won’t happen, since it is so highly improbable. You are dealing with accomplishing miracles here, get rid of anything that could prevent you from believing you can achieve them.

Two possible ways to change the future

There are two ways to change your future. The first one is to keep your timeline as it is, and whenever you reach a crossroad, you can be convinced you will take a certain path. In this case, you simply do not see the other path anymore, it does not exist. It is like your timeline is continuous in one direction only.

The other way is to change the past and find yourself in a completely different timeline or parallel world. Perhaps in that new timeline you could be thin and never had to worry about being fat. This is something I might have experienced, although it would be difficult to know since I would not remember the other timeline, the one in which for example I was fat. It is hard to tell if such changes in your timeline are possible, but my friend claims it is.

How can you change your past? How would you know something has changed? You will have to be observant, and then you will soon realise that something is different. Buildings that are now there on your way to work, you will feel were not there before. Some plants somewhere, you will think, were never there yesterday. And I have not experienced this myself, but my friend has: you could lose things like keys, or misplace them. As if in a different timeline your habits were a bit different or you never bought that ashtray you despised so much which is the place where you place your keys.

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Seven other ways or methods by which you can change your future

There are seven ways I can think of to change your future. They all work to a certain degree, some bring a very high success rate. There are perhaps more ways, this list is not exhaustive, but here are the means that I have identified so far and I will review them all in this report:

1) Hard work and radical life changing decisions you could take without hoping for any external help

2) Prayers, Chanting your way to success

3) Hex, Black Magic, Sorcerers, Rituals

4) Psychic Mediums

5) Psychologists, Spiritualists, Motivators, Training, Therapy, Changing your Life through feeling better

6) Technology, science fiction

7) The best way to change your future: just wish it, be convinced and it happens

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Hard work and radical life changing decisions you could take without hoping for any external help

There are many ways for you to change your future. The easiest way I suppose, which does not require a miracle or some sort of paranormal phenomenon or even a time machine, would be to identify what it is that you wish to achieve and find the solutions or the actions you could take in order to get closer to your goal.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? I know I wish to become for example successful at work. Simple, I should work 80 hours a week instead of 40, I should be able to get things done that way. Surely this would bring great results. I wish also to become a successful author, recognised everywhere in the world. Simple, I just have to send my books to publishers, that would be an obvious first step, which I can’t even be bothered with. In fact, playing around with trying to change my future, taught me what my goals were and how easy I could just work harder to reach them and to make my dreams come true. But it does not work like that.

I’m lazy, I’m overworked, I’m tired. I don’t have the time to print these books and send them to publishers, especially when I know my books would be rejected. I don’t want to work 80 hours a week and kill myself in the process in order to have more successful products and look good to my bosses. I want it to happen almost by miracle, without effort, so I can still have a life without being obsessed with success.

On top of this, I have learnt that to be successful socially is perhaps not my main goal, it would only alleviate the pain and suffering which failure can bring. My main goal ultimately is to find some freedom to think and write, be isolated somewhere far from big city centres, get back to a life where stress does not eat me alive.

If I was really serious about reaching my goal, I would quit my job, sell my stuff, go back to the North of Canada and get myself on social securities. Or at least find a job with not too much stress where I would have nothing to do all day. Perhaps even I could have the time to think and write. I have thought about the perfect jobs for me, but I have never acted upon these dreams. I could not really do this, it is not practical. I cannot just give up my life, my circumstances and disappear from the face of the earth.

So on one hand I know what my dreams are, on the other hand I am not willing to do anything to make them come true. Why? Because I need 100% commitment and determination that this is the right decision, and I don’t have that at the moment. I would need to be ready to sacrifice everything on a whim, while it could lead to a huge mistake. I am not even talking about how my family and loved one would react, they will again say that I am crazy, I am a dreamer and that I act irrationally.

I guess you have guessed that I did make these radical decisions before, where I sacrificed everything for my dreams, and in fact, I did reach my dreams to a certain extent. I am a published author, I have worked in television and cinema, I am living in London, I have a great CV. None of that would have happened without hard work and crazy overnight decisions like moving to Europe.

I wanted to go to Paris very badly when I was living in Ottawa. Did I drop everything and just bought a ticket and try to survive there? No. I applied at the Sorbonne and a few months later I was accepted. It made it much easier and acceptable to my family for me to move to Paris. I got all the help I could get, including a visa to remain there for a year. Without it, I would have been an illegal immigrant in Paris, not exactly the dream I was hoping for.

For many years now I wanted to move to Los Angeles. Did I drop everything and told everyone I was leaving for Hollywood to pursue my dreams, like so many actors and writers did before, only to come back empty handed? No. I had my CV on all these job websites and out of the blue a company wanted me, and now I will be there for a good reason, which makes it all much more acceptable to everyone, including myself. I am only stating these main two events here, but I could tell you so many more life changing events that happened to me, you would not believe, which is why I am writing this book now, I need to understand.

Something external to me, changing circumstances, made it more acceptable for me to move on. I wished for something to come and rescue me, something to happen, anything, and it happened. I was accepted to study in Paris, I got a job offer in L.A. Without that, I might have never left for these cities, or it could have been a disaster.

This is why most of us just don’t act upon what could make our dreams come true. The circumstances, the family, the psychological barrier in front of the enormity of the life changing event, all this is frightening. Some of us are adventurers, they can change their life overnight on a whim. We can only admire them for that. In my case it is not that easy anymore.

Events and circumstances almost need to happen without you having to do anything about it from your perspective. We cannot simply turn around, work harder and sell one million more of something. You need to wake up tomorrow and out of the blue a rich company decided to buy a million more of that something. Your boss might hate you, you could try to change his mind about yourself, make him see you are worth it, but you probably would not succeed. Something external to all this needs to happen, and suddenly your boss sees you in a different light, almost by miracle.

This is what I mean by changing your future. Not by hard work, or changing your very nature that we know by now is unchangeable. But by weird means which can actually influence the reality around you at a level beyond your understanding. There seem to be some laws of nature that make this possible somehow, and perhaps one day we will be able to explain them from the point of view of science.

After all, Einstein proved that matter and energy are the same and are interchangeable. We also know that the whole universe is connected through electromagnetic fields, with positive and negative poles, and that we are interacting and are connected with everything everywhere without knowing. If all is energy, and if we can influence all that using the energy of our brain, perhaps somehow we can change the configuration of the universe at will by thought alone.

Not only that, Einstein also proved that time and space are relative and are therefore changing all the time. Or at the very least, we could presume that nothing is sets in stone. The past, the present and the future can change, it is perhaps continually fluctuating. I have changed my views upon that since I have written this, however as I am not certain, let’s go with the accepted wisdom. I will elaborate more upon this later on.

Psychic mediums appear to prove that we can play with that, that we have some means to change our lives, to have an effect on our future. And they are not the only ones preying on you, there is an army of people out there who knows you have all the potential in the world to change your future by will alone, and they will ask something in return. Which is why my last solution for you to change your future below is the best option. But let’s review the others first.

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Prayers, Chanting your way to success

Praying is probably the most common way people use to try to change their future. You pray for something to happen, you ask someone else, like God, saints, angels, dead loved ones, to help you with certain tasks or important events in your life. This does not bring a high success rate.

First, you don’t convince yourself it will happen. You wish it to happen. You then ask someone else for help, you do not yourself think you can achieve it on your own. Finally you are asking for a miracle, and by definition, you are convinced miracles are exceptional events which rarely happen. Be aware that you need to convince yourself of an outcome in order to succeed.

For example, you might want to try to cure a little girl suffering from some disease. Don’t get me wrong, rally 500 people to pray for her, every day, for many months and years, and you will probably succeed in curing her (this happened for real to my friend, incurable disease I might add). In the final analysis, this is a lot of energy and concentration that could have been used for curing the whole planet, while using better methods to reach your ultimate goal.

In Buddhism they chant their way to success and many claims it does work very well. I should think the success rate is higher, since you are basically convincing yourself that something will happen, and chant for it to happen. Perhaps the vibrations caused by the chants help somehow in changing the configuration of the reality surrounding you. I have a very limited experience about what they do, so I won’t develop this further.

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Hex, Black Magic, Sorcerers, Rituals

My friend who contacted me said he had great results using these methods. In reality this has nothing to do with the devil or any sort of dark force. It is simply another way to convince yourself you will achieve great results in what you are trying to change or achieve in life.

I would suggest that the ritual itself makes it more serious in your mind, you are concretely working on the problem, you are definitely going to change something. You are convinced it will work because you did your little ritual, whatever it may be. This has a high success rate, and I am not certain at this time if it could be the highest success rate achievable.

Since I have been quite successful myself without using it, I suggest it is not necessary to get into all that. Especially that it becomes cumbersome. Rituals require time, preparation, psychological preparation, objects, etc. It can only be done a few times before you begin to tire of all this and decide not to do it anymore, assuming you even have the time.

Also, you could believe that you made a mistake in the ritual, and that perhaps it won’t work. You could destroy your faith in the changes if you were to start thinking that you did not use the salt this time, or did not have candles, etc. You would probably also frighten everyone around you if you were to mention you are into that kind of thing. You would not feel good about yourself.

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Psychic Mediums

Now, psychic mediums can also bring a high success rate if you can find one who is actually connected and has a great capacity to be precognitive, great intuition and can feel what’s going on in your life and the realm of possible futures for you.

When a medium tells you that you will meet someone tomorrow, and you have great confidence in that medium, you are in effect convincing yourself that you will meet someone tomorrow, so you make it happen. At this point there is not even a need for the medium to have foreseen it, there is no need for this possibility to have existed before it was mentioned by the medium. You create a new timeline in which someone will come into your life.

If there are many possible futures for you, it is difficult for any medium to guess the probability of each one of them. Not only that, could the medium open your eyes to a possible future you did not think of, but could become a reality? That is called creating new timelines, something you could become good at if you have a good imagination or learn to develop it.

There is no denying that mediums can cure people, heal physical or psychological wounds, tell you about your possible alternate realities and suggest you do certain things differently in order to achieve your goals or your dreams.

I won’t discuss here how they achieve that, however it is likely that while using any method given to you in order to change your future, you are perhaps trying to reach the same powers of a psychic medium. You are trying to see the past, predict the future, change certain elements of it since the timeline is always fluctuating in time, and ultimately these are the basic powers of psychic mediums. They are just more successful at it, but, like you, they can be mistaken, they can see future that won’t exist, they might not see as clearly as you can yourself.

I would suggest that you study what it is that psychic mediums can do in order to try to reach, even slightly, some of their aptitudes. However I would not suggest you to go to them in order to change your future. Why? Because it is not necessary, you can achieve that on your own without any training or books to read, apart from this report. And if the psychic medium is wrong twice in a row, which is quite normal, you would quickly lose faith.

And again, you depend on someone else to help you, you are not trying and convincing yourself that you will succeed in changing your future. You don’t go there asking to meet someone, you go there to find out what could possibly happen. Not a great way to achieve your goals if you cannot ask for something to happen that will rescue you.

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Psychologists, Spiritualists, Motivators, Training, Therapy, Changing your Life through feeling better

There are out there many psychologists or doctors, spiritualists, motivators like Tony Robbins, even nutritionists, who will tell you that by eating better, doing some exercise, thinking positively and changing your perception on life, might make a big difference to your success.

Meditation, relaxing, thinking of a better world and convincing yourself that you are a success instead of a failure, will make all the difference for you. They may also suggest hypnosis, auto-suggestion, in order to help you to convince yourself that you can achieve whatever you want.

Even though I would like to tell you that this is all wrong and just a big waste of time and money, I can’t. They are right in everything they say and you will quickly feel better about yourself, learn to think positively, and then positive things will start happening to you.

They are doing the same thing as I suggest you do in my final method of changing your future, though they are taking the very long route. Therapy, training, courses, writing stuff down, changing your whole life from A to Z.

You should only need to take this route if somehow you reach a complete breakdown or depression in your life. Where you need to rebuild your confidence from zero after a string of spectacular failures. It is a bit like my first method of changing your future, all by yourself, except that you get the professional help to guide you.

And then, you might wish to choose the people who really can help you at a high success rate. If it is only nutrition, or building confidence, it is not enough. They need to talk about changing your future for the better and how you can convince yourself you can do just that, by thought alone.

The process or plan they will put together for you, will also look much more natural, like if nothing like a paranormal phenomenon or miracle will be occurring. And in time you will change your life. It might take forever though, and you might get lost along the way, lose perspective and let go of it all.

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Technology, science fiction

At this time I am not aware of any technology that could give you the chance to send a message to yourself in the past or to an alternate version of you in a different timeline or parallel universe. There could be wormholes or inter-dimensional windows out there, natural phenomena, but I would not suggest you pursue that since you will be wasting a lot of time for results that are not guaranteed.

Going into the past, travelling in time, though we have heard that some people appear to be able to do that with technology or via a natural phenomenon, seems quite unlikely to happen to you.

Could we develop the technology one day that could help us? Science fiction seems to take it for granted, and it usually turns out in time to be true. I would venture to say that it is possible, it might even already exist, but it seems out of our reach.

How would it look like? I’m not sure, might be some technology we have not thought of yet, that future discoveries might bring us. It might play with high magnetic fields to help our brain to relocate itself in space and time, distort it somehow. But the effects on the brain are not well known yet.

High magnetic fields can create hallucinations, create voices out of thin air, help you see ghosts, etc. Ultimately it could help you disorient yourself enough for you to believe that you are in a different timeline and help you stay in that timeline.

We are playing on dangerous grounds here. The frontier between sanity and insanity. Though changing timelines or your future also play on the edge of that frontier. If you feel you can change your future, to suddenly become successful, if you feel somehow that some elements of the past have changed in order for this to become a reality, then you are talking about changing the configuration of the universe, or at the very least, of your own universe.

It is all perspective, point of view and frame of reference. At which point you can wonder if reality is real, or if perhaps it is just a dream world, a virtual world like a matrix. And you can change its configuration at will.

There are many ways of interpreting the phenomenon of changing one’s reality. Religious, science, science fiction, spiritual, psychological, etc. We are all talking about the same thing, it is useless to limit ourselves or be stopped by vocabulary. So even though I don’t particularly accept that God truly exists, as I consider this a mere hypothesis, I would not be stopped from listening to people who speak about changing the future in terms of God making those changes. In my mind I simply switch the word god to destiny or some other unknown phenomenon. The same goes for science fiction. If you speak in terms of matrix and virtual computerised world or programming, this is equivalent to God’s creation. And I have to admit that if reality is similar to dreams, then it is all imagination indeed. And you can dream yourself a better reality if you wish so.

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The best way to change your future:

just wish it, be convinced and it happens

My method is the simplest and it works. I can explain it to you in a few sentences, and of course I will develop it further. You could also choose a mix of my method and some of the other ones above, it is your choice. Whatever works best for you, this is the way to go.

Try my method, and I am certain you will quickly see the results. It is fascinating, it will look like a miracle, even though it will be completely detached from religion, spirituality, science or black magic.

Start with something small, even though you can go for it and wish for something huge, it makes no difference. You want to be more successful in your job, you want something to happen that is not highly improbable (like a huge promotion whilst nothing suggests it may happen any time soon), or a friend or family member with whom you had a miscommunication, calling you back to resolve the problem.

Wish it, repeat to yourself it will happen, that your future will change for the better, that the elements are already in action to change everything, the past, the future, the mind of others, the events, etc. Convince yourself it will happen, especially in bed before falling asleep. Repeat to yourself, almost like auto-suggestion, that it will happen, something great will happen, something will change, this person will contact you or something else will happen to make you a happier and more successful person. Repeat to yourself that the event will come true, it has already come true, you are convinced it will happen, you have no doubt about it. And the next day, or during the week after (set a likely deadline and repeat that as well), it will happen.

Does it sound too good to be true? Try it. It works wonder, as long as you are capable to convince yourself that it will happen. If you have any doubt, it won’t happen. Make it happen, think it, create your new reality, see the changes the next day by observing around you. There will be changes, you will be wondering if this was like that before, if perhaps it has changed or you were simply not very observant before (which is quite possible, we are not by nature very observant, but you should learn to observe better so you can notice the changes better).

I am telling you, as extraordinary as it seems, you have quite a potential in your mind to make the weirdest things come true. And the vaguest you are in your wish, the better the chances something great you would not have thought of will happen.

You could just, for example, wish for something wonderful to happen which will make you happy. You can repeat that to yourself all day long and in bed before falling asleep. And the next day feel that something is changed, that things are different, that this wonderful thing will happen. And see the results. It is amazing and it will change your life. No need for god, religion, spirituality, psychologists, motivators, rituals or time machine. Just wish it, convince yourself, and see the results.

This is what all the groups above have been exploiting in you, that potential you did not suspect existed within you, which is much easier to reach than you would have first thought. No need for meditation, relaxing, prayers, even though all these methods might help you. Just forget about it, keep it simple. Tell yourself things will change, without you having to do anything about it, and the circumstances will change and you will feel much better about it.

I could now tell you of ways to maximise this, like getting yourself into some sort of trance, looking far away in the distance as somehow it seems to have helped me, however this is not necessary. It is not keeping this simple and it would not impact your success rate. Keep it simple. Wish it, convince yourself it will happen, see the results unfold before you. That simple.

Anything else I would say might destroy your success rate. Might complicate matters and ultimately render the whole idea useless. You don’t have to think about changing the past, it will change accordingly to fit your new configuration of reality. You don’t need to try to get into communication with other versions of yourself in alternate timelines, or on a fluctuating timeline, though this is probably how you can get to this intuition, this feeling of déjà vu, this knowledge of the future or possible futures, and what not to do to follow the wrong path at any crossing where reality could split into two or three different outcomes. Don’t bother with all that, since it is all conjecture. Keep it simple.

Warning. This works, there are no two ways about it. You can experience it for yourself and, before the end of the week, perhaps tomorrow, you will have a good feeling that this is true. The warning is that others know it works, and they might take advantage of you in order to gain something from you. Whether it is money or power. Don’t be a victim, try it for yourself and you will quickly realise that the other ways, and help from others, whatever their background, is not necessary.

Only you exist in your bubble universe, in your frame of reference, and everything else outside that bubble is like a dream, a virtual reality. It can be changed at will, even if it is on the other side of the planet and you feel you have no reach in this matter. Wish no war in Iraq, wish no 9/11, and you could find yourself in a timeline where these events never happened. It would still have happened in other timelines, for other people in their own bubble universe, but not in yours.

But I suggest you start slowly, with simple future events that are possible within your immediate future, and a direct concern of yourself or people close to you. Pay attention to your surroundings, observe as it changes with your wishes, and you will in time convince yourself that you are changing things, sometimes on a massive scale.

I cannot at this time explain this phenomenon. I can try, it will always remain hypothesis, possibilities. All I know is that I have experienced it beyond any hope, and others I have told about this did very well too.

And now I am sure I have left you with a wish to know more about this. To see practical and spectacular examples of these results. I could tell you that I have turn my failing conferences into successes at work, and that required a miracle in itself, and that my miserable life is now about to change beyond any hope, as my dream to move to Los Angeles just came true, something that statistically speaking was simply impossible. However I have more to offer you than just these quick examples. I have talked extensively upon the subject with my friend, hopefully I will get the chance to add it to this book, if somehow it does not look out of place once I finish writing this book.

One thing I am asking from you, please let me know how successful you are at this and any detail about how you achieve it. There are many ways to reach your goals, I don’t pretend to have all the answers. Only through analysis of your own experiences will I be able in time to explain this phenomenon and the underlying natural laws of physics that can make this possible.

Back to summary

Be careful what you wish for, it might come true

If you are not adventurous enough normally, how would you cope if suddenly an opportunity arises? It is one thing to wish to be rescued and another to face the consequences when it comes. Hard decisions would have to be made and you need to be prepared to make them. However, you can always turn down the opportunity, it would have at least made you understand that you did not wish those dreams after all. And then you need to find other goals to pursue.

Your nature does not change, you are still virtually the same person from one timeline to another. It begs the question of why you were so successful in one timeline, but not in the other, if you are sensibly the same person. Perhaps circumstances were different in that other timeline, luck was on your side. In any case, you will go through a significant change in your life and you will have to adapt, whatever it is that destiny will drop on your head once you start wishing for your dreams to come true.

If you wish for something to change, and suddenly you notice many other changes around, did you have an impact on the timelines of many other people? Are there any unforeseen consequences? Well, yes, but only from your point of view. Everyone else around you has been living in that timeline forever, as far as they are concerned. They have their own timelines to deal with and might be far away already from how they are presented to you in your actual timeline.

If you wish for example that 9/11 never happened, and you wake up in a world where it has never happened, this timeline will be quite different. As a consequence the President and Prime Minister might not have won their second mandate, they might never had a first one, and that is just the beginning of it.

Everyone only perceives the world from their own point of view, only them exist in their actual timeline, no one else. In my actual timeline, my dad is an engineer. In his own timeline, he is perhaps a successful author. There are many versions of him out there doing many different things. And his own life and timelines have nothing to do with where I am now and what I am doing. We are quite disconnected in fact. So in the end, only my own timeline counts, what he is from my own frame of reference, in my actual timeline, though his life must be quite different, and I must be many other things from his point of view that I never actually even considered in my actual timeline.

What else would have changed? It does not matter, because from your point of view you will not remember the world with 9/11. You might want to wonder though if the world might be a better place with 9/11, if for example, the consequence of the downfall of Iraq and Afghanistan might prevent a third world war. It is the old paradox of if Hitler did not exist, and the Second World War had never happened. Thirty years later we might not have been here to talk about this today, as we might have destroyed ourselves through nuclear weapons in the meantime.

This is quite an extreme point of view, one where only you exist within your own bubble universe. It may be that this is not the case. I will develop this further on.

Back to summary

Is there a pay back time?

My friend is convinced that for everything he gets through changing his future, has to be compensated by something else he loses. I don’t think this is so. I have not lost anything, as far as I know, that I wanted. In any case, I could wish to have it back if it was the case.

It has to be said though that if you switch timelines, things might be different. You could have lost certain things as a consequence. But this is not like saying: when you gain something, you must lose something as punishment or compensation. This is a very religious idea, you get something from God or the Devil, and in return you have to give up your soul or freedom. I don’t believe this, I have not experienced any of that.

Though I warn you that if you think like that, it is most likely that you will lose something, because it is like wishing for it to happen, and hence, it happens. If you feel you have to give up something in order to get something else, that is your prerogative and it will happen. I say it is not necessary and you would lose something for no good reason. It works without that kind of pay back time philosophy.

Back to summary

What are we really talking about here?

I mentioned earlier on that there are many ways to change your future and each one of these ways has invited and developed its own vocabulary to describe this process. Karma would be one of them. Destiny or fatalism as well. In science you would talk about switching timelines, in religion you would talk about making your life better. And spiritualists would talk about changing your life with the help of guardian angels and even God.

So you could wonder the need to talk about timelines and changing your past and future. In fact there is no need to talk in those terms. From your point of view, you only need to tell yourself that you can influence your future, and you can convinced yourself that you can and have changed it. Repeat it to yourself as a real fact and it will happen. That is all.

You might not actually be changing timelines, you don’t really need to look for other changes around you. The fact that we are able to observe these changes is perhaps that we were not very observant in the first place. It is perhaps just a question of confidence in yourself and what you can achieve.

You can make it happen, even if external events that you feel you should not have any control over, appear to be affected to make it come true. It is perhaps that you are more connected to your environment globally than you ever thought possible.

However, I go further than anyone else, when I am telling you that you can also change your past. And that is no small thing, neither it is a small achievement. So far it does not appear that many people experienced this, I have not found anyone talking about that for a start.

If anyone else can verify what I have experienced, then truly, everything we thought this world was about will need to be re-assessed. I am keen for you to try not only to change your future, but also your past, and hope that you will report back to me your findings, so I can assess this phenomenon better, and help redefine what this universe and this existence are truly about. For me, that is all that really matters. Not becoming rich, perhaps not even find this absolute freedom which has been an obsession of mine all my life, but really understand the mechanics of existence, what is this universe we’re living in, and what is our real purpose within it, if any.

Don’t blame me if I become rich along the way, I have wished for absolute freedom after all, and one way to reach that point, is certainly money falling from the sky. And I have become quite good at this, if I may say so myself, even if since then I reverted to hoping for a much smaller salary and more freedom and less stress. I had a lot of money at some point, I didn’t have what I truly wanted however, time to think, read and write. I don’t have absolute freedom yet, but I’m sure now that this is all about to change. I’m back on working on changing my future and my past, in order to change my present, hopefully in a more controlled way this time.

Is that sports car in my backyard right now? Yes it is! Now let’s move on to the serious stuff.

Back to summary

The Law of Attraction from Wikipedia

Before I continue on my study of various authors who wrote extensively on the subject of the Law of Attraction, getting back to the very source of these New Thought ideas, I thought I would give you what Wikipedia states about what mainly changing your future involves. It is actually keeping it simple to the point that I feel that this is all you really need to read in order to be on your way creating and changing your future:

In order to control this energy, proponents (of the Law of Attraction) state that people must practice four things:

· Know what one desires and ask the universe for it. (The "universe" is mentioned broadly, stating that it can be anything the individual envisions it to be, from God to an unknown source of energy.)

· Focus one's thought upon the thing desired with great feeling such as enthusiasm or gratitude.

· Feel and behave as if the object of one's desire is already acquired.

· Be open to receiving it.

Thinking of what one does not have, they say, manifests itself in the perpetuation of not having, while if one abides by these principles, and avoids "negative" thoughts, the Universe will manifest a person's desires.

This list of four steps, couched in quasi-scientific terms, is quite similar to, and was influenced by, the panentheistic "Seven Steps in Demonstration" first outlined in the book Become What You Believe by Mildred Mann (1904 - 1971):

· Desire. Get a strong enthusiasm for that which you want in your life, a real longing for something which is not there now.

· Decision. Know definitely what it is that you want, what it is that you want to do or have, and be willing to pay in spiritual values.

· Ask. [When sure and enthusiastic] ask for it in simple, concise language. . .

· Believe. Believe in the accomplishment with strong faith, consciously and subconsciously.

· Work. Work at it. . . a few minutes daily, seeing yourself in the finished picture. Never outline details, but rather see yourself enjoying the particular thing . . . Eventually, you will see a time where it will just appear, as a gift or such, or you may see an opportunity to get what you were asking for.

· Feel gratitude. Always remember to say, "Thank you, God [or the universe]," and begin to feel the gratitude in your heart. The most powerful prayer we can ever make is those three words, provided we really feel it. Feel as though you already have what you wanted.

· Feel expectancy. Train yourself to live in a state of happy expectancy... Find a way it will appear in your life, and keep believing in that. May it be that someone gives it to you, or you find an initiation to get it.

PART II

Esther and Jerry Hicks

Teachings of Abraham

Ask and It Is Given

World of Esther Hicks

Esther Hicks is asking a lot from us. First of all she wants us to believe that it is not her speaking and writing to us, it is an entity of many consciousnesses called Abraham living in the immaterial world. Well, I never believed in God or anything spiritual up until now, how am I supposed to believe that?

Then you hear her MP3s of Abraham talking to us, where she seems to be getting some sort of an East European accent, and this is supposed to be the accent of that collective. But then, she does not always have this accent, for example she has none when we see her on stage on all those cruise workshops they organise that we can see in videos over the Internet.

Then you could start wondering if that woman who seems normal enough, after all she looks like my mom, could be capable of writing such a book as Ask and It Is Given. Perhaps together with her husband they concocted some sort of fraud inspired by Jane Roberts and her famous series of books about Seth? Yes, you could think all that, and it certainly occurred to me. If it is so, I find it extraordinary that this couple could have come up with such an elaborate hoax.

I realised that all this can be put aside. In the end, whether or not they are a fraud and that there is no such entity as Abraham, it takes nothing out of the content of their message, they still had to write that content, assuming it is not a rip-off from other books, which I assume we would know by now if it was the case. I also cannot deny how clever Esther Hicks is on stage, she is no doubt an extraordinary speaker, whether it is her speaking or Abraham through her.

So, whether they lie or not is of no consequence to me. For the purpose of this book, I am only interested in the message, I will assume it is all true just for the sake of the argument. If it is not true, it does not matter. The reason of my book is to look at what they say, see if through it I can actually find some sort of truth that could explain this phenomenon that it seems that our thoughts can create the reality we live in.

Message of Esther Hicks

The message of Esther Hicks rings true to me, and resembles a lot of what I have witnessed myself in my own life, what I experienced. Here we are, they identified it, they talk about it, even though this is something so metaphysical, so out there, it is very difficult to even put into words. And they bring new concepts to the equation which I had not considered. And now that I am willing to consider this new data, I intend to find out if I can be more successful at changing my reality, at constructing my existence, at self-creation.

Because this is truly what the book Ask and It is Given is all about, living within your own creation, as you are the only god of your own universe, of your own creation, and you can change its configuration at will, including something none of the others seemed to have mentioned, including Esther, you can change your past.

And this is why I feel the need to write this book now, I may have something more to contribute, there may be something more to what they say. And if they don’t say it, it is perhaps because it would complicate matters further, and a whole new understanding of the universe we live in would be required.

Of course, none of us is ready for such a truth. We do not live in a virtual universe as far as we are concerned, our existence is not like a PC adventure game which we can reload, save, re-start, hack into, change at will, and continue along the way, building and constructing and calling upon us whatever we feel like experiencing today, like on a holodeck on Star Trek. It could potentially be closer to the truth than we think, this is what I intend to explore.

There is no doubt in my mind that we can create our own experience, our own universe. You can simply just wish it, believe it, and it happens. This is what I wrote years ago as my own conclusion as to this weird phenomenon of nature I came across, before I finally found out only recently about Esther Hicks.

The title of her book was striking enough, it was the exact same thing I had stated myself years previously, that I gathered from my own experience. Ask and It Is Given is the title of her book, and my philosophy is: The best way to change your future: just wish it, be convinced and it happens. I mention this for one reason only, to show how striking the coincidence is, that both independently we came to the same conclusion, and how to the point her title tells everything. This is what is called The Secret of Rhonda Byrne, this is what every single book on the market about get rich quick is all about. I knew that, nothing new here, however Hicks’ title was just something I could not bypass so easily. It re-opened everything in my mind. I had to explore this further.

Not in order to get rich quick, or even change my future in ways that would be the story of fairy tales. Quite the contrary, whilst being aware of how well this works, I have not tried in years to change anything in my life. This is perhaps the mistake many do, so obsessed with changing the miserable conditions plaguing their existence, they are all ready to sell their soul to become rich and find happiness. Whilst doing that, we forget the real implications of what the likes of Esther Hicks are really stating. This is what I am exploring here.

Implications of Esther Hicks’ message

Now, I could be mistaken, but I am going to state how I interpret Hicks’ message, which is also how I interpret my previous conclusions. Probably Esther Hicks will not agree, and thank you for pointing to me if I am mistaken, and then I will change this book accordingly, but…

The implications, once analysed, and they will be within this book, are that we are living in a virtual world that can be re-configured at will, with an infinite possibility of configurations where anything is possible, including yourself being king or queen of the whole unified planet.

Pick up any adventure game, and that can instantly become your universe. Pick up any highly futuristic novel set in the year 4000, and it can instantly become your universe. If you can believe it, if you can feel that it is possible, you will wake up tomorrow morning in that universe. There is no doubt about it in my mind, I have experienced it myself many times. The only limitation is how ready you are to believe it.

Esther Hicks does not go that far in telling you how much you can change your reality, she is aware that it is limited to what you believe is possible, and that is based on what already exists in your reality and your own beliefs. Nevertheless she does not set any limit to the realisation of your desires either, no matter how huge they are. She does not specifically talk about virtual worlds that you can reconfigure at will, she comes close though, she says it in other words, and overall this is the only conclusion that I can draw from reading her books. It must be a given or else everything she says cannot be true.

The biggest mistake you could do, for example, when adopting this way of thinking, is that you can win the lottery, many millions. In theory there is no problem with wishing to win the lottery, and there is certainly nothing that could prevent you from actually winning millions at the lottery, however, for it to happen, for it to come true, you would need to be utterly convinced and utterly believe that you will win.

The world of probabilities and statistics is too deeply engrained within you for you to believe that such a feat is possible, and so though you try, you never win. Before you could reach the point that you could truly believe you will win the lottery, you will have to be highly convinced indeed through past successes in other areas of wishing a new reality. The problem is that, even though your past successes are astonishing, and could be compared to miracles, deep down in your mind they could still be coincidences, weird ones granted, but still. You can never be certain for sure, unless you have high convictions.

Reading Hicks and the likes gives me more convictions. I am no longer alone thinking along those lines, it seems more real and so much more likely to bring me a high success rate in changing my future. Let’s explore it then.

Is Esther Hicks’ method truly necessary?

For me, the essential ingredient of bringing about my desires, is the conviction, the certainty that they will come true. It is so essential, I am puzzled this is not in Esther’s title Ask and It Is Given. It is also absent most of the time when Esther tells us what to do in order to receive what we ask. Instead, she tells us that as long as we are happy, peaceful, joyful, with a great feeling of wellbeing, it will happen, because then we are vibrating at the right frequency of our desires and also of the Source Energy.

I am not alone thinking that the belief that it will happen is important, I think most of the books about getting rich tell us about it, given as an essential ingredient to be successful. You have to believe it can happen, that it will happen.

Through reading Ask and It Is Given, I tell you, I am reaching high level of philosophy and metaphysics that I do not remember having read for many years. My courses of philosophy are far in my past. This is not an accessible book, it is not easy to understand. However, it is so cleverly written, anyone can read it and take and leave whatever they need or not from it. They also mention that at the beginning.

I am certain that most of what is written in the book goes right over the head of most readers. I know, because there are so many things in there that I understand only because I have already experienced it myself. And not only experienced it, but thought deeply about it in order to understand it, and written extensively upon the subject. Makes me wonder what else this book contains that goes right over my head, I know there is plenty, and yet it does not hindered my reading too much, I just bypass these passages.

For example, in my own attempts to change my future, switching timelines as I came to call it, I never considered happiness, love (an impossible concept for me to understand or truly identify as there are many definitions), joy, wellbeing, feelings, appreciation, thinking positive, etc. And yet, I have been highly successful at changing my life overnight in such manners that it can only be called miracles.

This is quite important. I am stating here that what is at the basis of what is required in order to ask and be given according to Esther Hicks, none of it is actually required. You do not need to feel elated, happy, joyful, feeling a great sense of wellbeing.

Or else, is it possible that if you are convinced something you wished for will happen, there is another way to reach the same vibrational frequency Hicks talks about? Are you then positioning yourself to allow it to happen? I don’t know, this is new to me, it is even an alien concept.

Moreover, I never considered the idea of vibrations, being vibrational beings, thoughts being frequencies you are broadcasting like a radio, and that you are also a receiver, and all of that. None of that was necessary to me, and yet, if I had wished to be Prime Minister by now, I have no doubt I would be, without the need for any kind of hard work on my part, or so little action would be required. Of course, being an immigrant in England, I cannot be Prime Minister in this country, but that is a detail if you believe that you can also change the past or switch timelines.

So what’s going on here? Have I stumbled upon the Law of Attraction by pure accident, did not need to know anything about it, or understand anything about it, and yet, reached all the desired results? But then, would have I been much more successful at it if I had followed what Esther Hicks states?

Or is what Esther Hicks says just an elaborate story enwrapping something true about our universe, however so dangerous that in the wrong hands it would mean our downfall? So it needs to be wrapped in bubble wrap of new age stuff and spiritual enlightenment, to insure only the good souls will reach that secret? Is she just rightly so preventing this knowledge from falling into the wrong hands?

Well yeah, I guess I didn’t think as much when I wrote my own report. I didn’t think of the consequences. I pretty much told everyone that whatever they wished for, if they could believe it would happen, then it would most certainly happen, even if it involves the destruction of humanity. And be ready for miracles, because it works!

Someone taking power over millions of people, to get them all to live as slaves without any kind of freedom whatsoever… and since by nature we are all blood thirsty for power and wealth, what kind of universe would that be? Such powers, we have them, but such powers are worse than a nuclear bomb, worse than a bomb capable of destroying not only the planet, but the very universe we live in.

Esther Hicks does not mention any of this, because if she was, by integrity and for her own conscience, she would have to stop what she is doing, she would have to keep this a secret. However, if her students, and she calls them that, are all about wellbeing, joy of life, appreciation of what this world has to offer, then none of them will go on a rampage to kill their colleagues at work. So once again, it is clever, even though her method might not be necessary.

Well, I will try it her way and will eventually report if I am being more successful at it. At the very least, feeling better, joyful, peaceful and so on, is certainly something I have wished for all my life, perhaps it is my greatest desire. According to Esther, this is not a desire we can wish upon us, we have to work it out ourselves before her law of attraction can do anything for us. And yet, how hard can it be to convince myself that I am happy and joyful? And what if it works better even if it is not necessary?

If I felt peaceful and joyful and all that already, I wonder, I might not need to ask for anything else. And if this is something I need to work out for myself, without the need of this phenomenon of asking and it is given, well, I might just as well give up. For me, everything needs to fall from the sky. Even how I feel must be the result of what I wished for and that happened in my life. Oops, have I gone about this the wrong way? And yet it worked so well? How can I explain this?

In truth, when I look back, it has not worked so well. Yes, it still works without feeling good and happy, I have created realities beyond what I thought was possible, and somehow it did not bring me happiness, I did not even appreciate what I brought into my life.

Perhaps because where I was when I thought of what should come, was such a dark place, I felt so bad already, somehow the reality I created, though it corresponded to what I desired, was still a mix of where it came from, darkness, misery, a wish to escape it all, etc., and what I created was in that image.

So, even if you were the devil wishing upon your life all sorts of negative events, you would be highly successful at making it happen. The next murders you would plan, would come so easily, it will be like a dream come true and you would never get caught if you wished so.

Still, this is not what I want to feel or where I want to be. I am tired of living in this trapped existence where it seems freedom and happiness are out of my reach. And if truly everything does start in your mind, and from there it creates the reality you thought of, then the minimum requirement before thinking, it is logical, must be that you already feel free in your mind, that you already can sense happiness. Those feelings, those thoughts, are the building blocks of what you will create, it is the source of creation. It should not come from a dark place.

I now believe that Esther Hicks’s method is perhaps the way to go, it even supersedes any other method which I feel now can only be incomplete. Get rich quick books, The Secret of Rhonda Byrne, other motivators, will do you a disservice, if at the root you are not already in a happy place with a great sense of wellbeing, feeling already psychologically what it is that you wish to bring into your life. Because what you will create will still reflect how you felt at the time you were thinking about it.

It is quite a revolution for me to admit as much. I see now that I was going about this the wrong way. It is true that Esther Hicks’ method is not entirely necessary, and that you can still create your reality at will without any kind of feeling of wellbeing, however the reality you will then live in will be as you felt at the time you thought it, it will still reflect all your doubts, all that you felt was lacking in your life, and so you will find yourself exactly at the same point you were initially in, it will be a stagnation. The scenery will change, but it will essentially be the same story, you will still be the same person.

Maybe this can actually really change, maybe you can change? If auto-suggestion works, trying to convince ourselves of how happy we already are, how free we already feel, how what it is that we seek, we already have it in our mind, feeling it even if physically it has not materialised in our experience, if all that can help us evolve to become better human beings, and help create the best reality we can, then we would be ignorant indeed to skip that crucial step.

Wellbeing and what you feel right now is important, Hicks is right, it is the base of your reality to come, whether or not you try to ask and receive, or if you just live your life as if you never came across this. One way or another, I am convinced that your thoughts do become your reality. If you do not have a great imagination, or if you are stuck in loops rethinking everything that is going bad in your life, there is absolutely no way you will get out of these loops. No one will come to save you, you could not save yourself, until you start feeling something else, broaden your horizons, imagine the life you could have, think about the life you want, and feel in anticipation that it is already here.

It may seem right now that I am just a parrot, repeating what Esther Hicks already stated, however I still need to say it, because I see the truth in this, I think it myself deep down, and so I feel it is necessary to write it down so I will remember it and act consequently.

I am very critical by nature, and I certainly intended to read Esther Hicks and tell you that it was all wrong, and I will whenever I feel it is untrue, that it does not seem to correspond to my own experience. But so far, apart from all the spiritual new age vocabulary, and the Energy Source, and all that which I can neither confirm nor deny, her message does ring true every time. And if I can find synonyms to all the vocabulary she uses that I am not comfortable with, then we are still speaking the same language, we are still talking about the same mechanisms of the existence, even if we go about it in a different way.

For example, that great Source Energy Esther is talking about, what is it? Well, a little analogy with a computer creating virtual worlds is quite useful, that Source Energy is the plug socket into the wall which powers your computer. So, if the universe is already filled with energy, then I guess it cannot be harmful to call this source of energy we draw upon, just like a computer, the Source Energy.

And as soon as we start talking about virtual worlds we are creating inside our mind, and that becomes the blue print of the reality we create, and since there is a need to talk about the physical world and the non physical world, I do understand that some new vocabulary is required once you try to explain what this might be. I should not be afraid of any vocabulary being used, whether it is religious in nature or scientific, in the end we can always find synonyms to adapt any discourse, and we are all talking about the same phenomena.

Why have I been raped if I create my own experience?

Many people asked Esther, and rightly so, figuratively speaking hopefully, why would have I wished to be raped if I am truly creating my own experience?

Esther’s answer is that whatever you think of, whether you want it to happen or not, comes to you. You may not have necessarily thought of rape, but thinking of things that are of the same frequencies, a perfect match, then invites into your life these very things. You create with your thoughts, events of the same frequencies or of a similar nature, whether they are positive or negative thoughts.

It is a very interesting answer. I never thought of that, that whatever you were thinking, whether it is positive or negative, happens, and it happens then out of your control. I thought I was only bringing about what I wanted into my life, what I specifically worked on that I truly wished to bring into my experience. Only the positive, negative thoughts had no impact.

For me, negative thoughts were never a problem, thinking back though, I can see the logic and now I wonder. My God! And what if she is right? What if not only my concentrating thoughts that I wish to see into being, comes into being, but also any thought whatsoever that I have everyday without thinking further? It would explain a lot of what I have experienced in my life.

I have to admit, if I had to create this world and how it would work, I would have come up with such a provision, such a law. How else this world could have come to anything, when we start to consider that your thoughts can actually spectacularly change this reality, that only your thoughts can come to anything real? Any thought then must have some sort of an impact, whether you are aware or not, whether it is positive or not.

In retrospect, I think I was horribly wrong about this. I can see now that my negative thoughts, which compose most of my thoughts, are keeping me stuck in a place where I have no desire to be. This is about to change big time, from now on I will work on thinking positive all the time.

You see, from my point of view, if I had been raped, I would have actually wanted it to happen on a subconscious level. Because I would have wanted to experience it, to feel what it is to be raped, and so I could have afterwards thought about it, understood it, and in my case, write about it. It would certainly have changed my life and help define everything else I would have done. It would have been one more experience for me to add to my line of experience, so I would have a broader vision of what existence was all about. I would have felt it was a necessary evil I had to go through because I needed to experience everything. And I do feel the need to understand everything this life has to offer, I need to understand what humanity is all about, one way or another.

You see, for me, rape, or any other negative event in my life, is not so unwelcome. I feel I have as much to learn from anything negative than I have to learn from anything positive. Perhaps not rape, because this is highly traumatic, however I have gone through things that were very bad, and I feel I have learned from them, grown from them, and today I would not wish to have foregone these experiences. Up to this point, for me life was all about learning and evolving from what I learnt, moving to the next step, the next level.

Nevertheless, it comes a time in one’s life, and I feel I have reached that point now, where perhaps I have learned enough from such negative events, and that maybe I am ready for something much more positive, happiness, peacefulness, freedom, learning at another level.

For Esther it is all very simple. There is actually only one purpose for us in life, it is the one of creating, the one of creating our own experience, which amounts to creating universes. She is quite clear about it, there is more than one universe, and they are expanding, and our role is to keep them expanding. It needs not be negative, on the contrary, it is all about joyfulness and happiness. There is no need for negative events in our life, and I agree. So, no more rape please! We can wish them all away by thinking positive!

What is the purpose of our existence according to Esther Hicks?

There is only one reason for our existence according to Esther Hicks that I gathered, and that is to create our own experience, new universes. I agree with this assessment, I have reached the same conclusion long ago. Now it is re-enforced in my mind. However, is this truly our very purpose, or is there more that we are not being told?

I thought it was necessary to learn from bad and good events, negative and positive occurrences. For Esther it should and could only be about positive events. And where I am now, I agree that this is how it should be. I can still learn from such positivism, and perhaps create ever more, my own experience, but more so, my own universe, all through a positive light.

And where does this lead? You becoming a god, creating your own universe filled with pawns you control, whether they are presidents, prime ministers or kings. Yet, people with their own individuality, and perhaps the capacity to learn and create and become gods themselves.

This is where this is leading, so your ultimate goal is to create a new universe perhaps better than the one you have come to know, since maybe you are not the instigator of that universe you evolve in right now, and yet, you have this capacity to learn from it about how it is done, and then do it yourself. This must be your ultimate absolute freedom, to break out from the old universe and create your brand new one. Esther does not talk in such terms, but it certainly sounds to me like this is where it leads.

So all these talks about creation and the Bible, were perhaps not that far from the truth. Genesis, it is not only how perhaps this world came to be, it could also be what you need to do and what you will end up being: a god creating universes.

I am not stating this lightly, I am a firm believer in evolution over creation, though I admit now that there is no reason why creation and evolution cannot go hand in hand in how this world came to be. They are no longer mutually exclusive from my point of view.

You may instantly think a world, however this world would still have a past, some logic that could explain how it came to be in the first place. And though you might jump to its conclusion by thinking it as such, just like in dreams, there is a past to it all that you never needed to think up, or else the dream, the creation, would not make any sense, it simply could not be. You have not thought of it, and yet it exists, it came as a consequence of your creation.

This is deep indeed, and perhaps so central to whom we truly are, gods creating universes. There is no need to dance around the bushes anymore, this is what Esther Hicks is all about. We are the gods of our own creations, and if we are not yet, this is what we aspire to become.

Perhaps you are already living and evolving within your own creation, maybe you are already the god of your own universe, and what Esther states would suggest that this is true. I guess you just need to realise it, and start using it to your own advantage, if you still have the motivation after that, if you still see the point of going ahead, which I find very hard to grasp, if I may admit.

The Genesis could actually be the description of what you initially accomplished before you came into being. You are the god of your own universe, I cannot see how it could be otherwise, considering that you create your own universe as you go along, and that no one else seems to be able to change anything to it except you. You might as well have created it all in the first place, and scriptures like the Bible and even the book Ask and It Is Given might only be there to remind you of what you have already done. You created it within this universe so you could remember what this is all about.

All religions do not seem to believe in some sort of evolution, it seems they are all about instant self-creation. So wherever you look for answers, you see that this world was created instantly, and that you can create the same, and so, how could you miss it, considering that you have forgotten everything that you were all about before you were born, as Esther Hicks suggests? I may be extrapolating a bit too much here, however, it is possible and worth considering.

One thing for sure, Esther Hicks is all about us having more desires or dreams, creating them in our minds, and seeing them becoming reality in our own experience. That is far beyond any other message on the market, and it is not about getting rich, however it is part of it. She is more about us creating things, creating universes so the universe or the universes can expand further.

What purpose this serves in the end, except that all our ideas and thoughts do change the reality of this world, to a point that, one day, we will all have, as humanity, evolved into something else? This is one way of looking at it. It is as puzzling as the Church obsessed with us having as many babies as we can, no contraception, no abortion, and yet, as soon as the baby is born, and had his or her own babies, that very human life is useless and can be sacrificed on a whim through any war. In any religion, human beings are not important, however, any new life is crucial. Where does this lead?

These arguments and logic escape us, because these are parts of grander schemes of the Church or the spiritual world, and they are not telling us clearly what this is all about. It leads to a better race, the ultimate perfect beings, the ones capable of much more than any of us right now could be capable of.

So there is still some sort of evolution to be considered in religion outside this creation, we are still not perfect or capable of what is intended for us, until the new generation is finally born, the final one, which will change this existence beyond what any of us can understand or foresee, beyond any recognition.

So, you can expect humanity to change on a massive scale eventually, with any new generation that comes to be. You might be part of this, or you may not, it is unlikely that you will have any part in this. Unless you wake up right now and act consequently. We may already be there, it may already be within all of us. It might be easier for any new generation, but it could be as easy for any of us to see through it, to understand and start creating this world as we see fit.

I agree, we are very bad at this, creating worlds, but I think we can learn, we can do it, we can achieve what we want, despite all that we have learnt to the contrary. We can be at the leading edge of this space-time reality creation as Esther says it, right now. And this is perhaps one way of looking at it.

A way that Esther or Abraham does not state for some reason, because, how could we ever be ready to accept such concepts? I wonder. A new generation, in a more open minded world, receiving the right teaching right from the start, might be much more powerful, it might be what everyone has been waiting for, so we will no longer be at the leading edge, but right into the heart of it all. Creating freely new universes as we think, being born gods right from the start, the perfect human beings, the perfect race.

What did Hitler learn about this? He was talking in those terms… and he was into anything that could lead Germany into being the first nation upon this world. In a way, a real visionary, though, you will agree, he went about it the wrong way, trying to speed up everything, which simply could not be sped up. Then again, perhaps he was only inspired by Nietzsche, and then he was misguided, he had no clue what he was talking about. And perhaps Nietzsche also stumbled upon some truth somehow, and was still completely ignorant of what it truly meant. Who knows? All we know is that it was wrong, this was not the way to go about it, it was destructive and millions died as a consequence, certainly not the way to go about anything.

Hitler and Nietzsche’s ideas were not new, they were a reflection of what religions seem to have stated for millennia. This is the source, and perhaps it is time that we get to understand what this is all about, where it is really leading us as a humanity.

Esther is dangling a carrot in front of us: you can see any of your desires, dreams, thoughts, becoming a reality. So start working, and here is how you go about it. But what is the ultimate purpose of that? How does it serve anything, or is it in the spiritual world that there is an impact and we cannot be told about it?

I am sorry, but if I am to follow Esther Hicks’ teachings, or Abraham’s teachings, I need to know where it leads, the purpose of it all, what it is that, as a humanity, we will gain out of it and become as a consequence. I need to make sure it does not serve some other obscure purpose of someone else, be it Abraham or some other entity out of this world.

Now, if I am wrong and misunderstood what was the true purpose of our existence according to Esther Hicks, I apologise, I am still reading the book. But now the question is identified and I will look more carefully into it during my reading.

After all, we are long past the time when we would listen to what the priest would tell us on Sunday at Church, and believe it all as gospel. If we are still too stupid to be told what is really going on, then shut up, we will make of this world what we want, we will find our own truth. And by all means, it might not go hand in hand with your own goals which you could not tell us anything about, from fears that we could not take it or understand.

I am ready to understand anything now, no matter how wild it is, are you not? I think we have heard everything by now, nothing else can make us go crazy, or crazier than we already are, right? If there are any more secrets left on this world, or knowledge you feel we are not ready for, or that could be potentially dangerous, I think it is time to let it all go in the open and see what happens. Or else, I wonder if we will ever find a good enough reason to exist or continue, and then, we might as well blow ourselves up to kingdom come.

How selfish does one need to be?

The idea of an infinite universe awaiting to fulfil every single one of your desires is exhilarating, especially when you do not have to care about helping anyone else but yourself, since you are not here to alleviate the suffering of the planet, but just to look at it and use it as a contrast to help you create something better in your own mind and within your own experience. This is what Esther Hicks tells us.

When said like this, yeah, sounds like the most absurd definition of the universe and most preposterous purpose for the human race ever stated. One has to wonder, could this be true or just wishful thinking?

And yet, if you were to replace universe with computer, the concept of a computer in standby waiting to create your programming and to display your creation, you would not call this selfish. It would be the purpose of the computer, its reason for being. Awaiting your commands or wishes, to reproduce it on the monitor. And the more programming and software this computer would receive, the more performing it would become, the more exciting.

People would tire quickly of an 8 bits computer, there is almost nothing you can do with that. If your computer has infinite capacity and memory, as the universe should be, that virtual creation with all its electrons awaiting to become matter, objects, inventions, people, interactions, life, then it would be sad indeed if we could barely come up with 8 bits applications and software for such an infinite machine capable of so much more, capable of creating infinite universes.

I wouldn’t trade my PC for a TRS-80 Coco 2 for anything, though in 1980 this was quite revolutionary to me. I used to programme little software in Basic, I was in paradise. I never programmed on a PC, a university degree would have been required by then. Perhaps I should have learnt the binary language instead of Basic, and even then, I am not certain how useful it would have been today.

For me it is obvious that we should be selfish, the way I understand now the mechanics of existence. You see, if you are alone in this universe, and your sole role and purpose is to create universes, then how can you not be selfish and egocentric? Wasting your time helping others or to try to stop wars, when in fact anyone is just but a puppet you control, would stop you from your real purpose in life. And then, if you can control them all with your mind, with your thoughts, then surely there is a better way to help them by simply wishing a better world and wishing for these people to get help instead of physically doing so little to alleviate the planet’s misery.

This is of course only if we are actually alone in our own bubble universe. If somehow we are all here together wishing up and creating new stuff, and then the human race goes ahead further with new inventions, new technology, new ways to help others, then in the long term, having an army of people wishing up new things and creating new ways of life must benefit us all, I would think at a faster rate then just working hard accomplishing little actions for so small a result.

For example, let’s assume there are only ten human beings on the whole planet and they have nothing, they know nothing, they have just been put there at the beginning of times. They don’t even know how to hunt for food. They can’t even speak or think anything yet. Well, if we want to see them, as a humanity, go anywhere, one of them will need to think of a mean of communication, then think of the tools to survive, and then one of them will need to make them. Only through thoughts, new ideas, blueprints and creation of new tools can they survive.

Today this is global, and yet, the overall purpose of humanity is still the same. If calculations can take days and months, someone might wish to think up a computer, a machine capable of computations. And suddenly people somewhere else in the world get to work and create computers. With these computers we can now achieve in a few seconds what used to take months. Suddenly banking worldwide is instant, the organisation of a delivery of tons of food for the Africans can be done in a few seconds instead of months.

Then everybody benefits. It works better wishing things up than actually doing things to better the overall humanity, at the very least once you get started with changing the future. So, it may seem selfish at first, overall it is not. Only by thinking new ways to make everything better will everything get better.

And if you have an army of people suddenly wishing for a better world, and all of them are peaceful, joyful, in a state of wellbeing, then this army is also helping the rest of us, because none of them will commit any crime, or be disagreeable, or cause problems just for the sake of it, as most of us do on a daily basis. They become by definition much less selfish than most others.

Even people believing in religion, having in their mind to help others, praying to God, are still intrinsically selfish at heart and often even really mean. I am sure you have come across many people believing in God who still judged you, criticised you, made your life a living hell. These people are selfish. Not all of them, but I certainly met many of them.

If you truly follow the method of Esther Hicks, you could not be judgmental anymore, you would feel indifferent and unconcerned by what people think or say about you. It will not affect you, and you would still be peaceful and joyful. And then, by being such a person of wellbeing, how could you in anyway attract such negative thoughts and judgments from others?

After reading Hicks, I went back to work and thought: oh dear, I will have to confront my Line Manager again today, it will be ugly, she is such a monster. Then I thought, well, I made her that way, I wished her that way, I have put myself in this situation, I wished for it initially. In the end, I attracted that in my life in the first place, I wished her into my existence. And so I control my destiny, and if I want all of this to go away, I can simply wish for it to be so. And I did, and since then, she has been nothing but nice to me, I did not have one single argument with her, even though in the past, every single hour we were coming close to blow.

I am also much calmer at work, less affected by what they do. When they freak out, instead of freaking out back at them, I remain silent, I think positive thoughts, and it immediately goes away. Now at work it is liveable, it is a nice environment, we are all happy. Just by my efforts alone over a week. Imagine if we were all doing these efforts and trying to be joyful and happy. And now, instead of all of us going back home like balls of anger, driving everyone else at home in our family and friends crazy, having a knock down effect on virtually everyone else in London, we are content and relaxed. So, is this selfish? Perhaps, but in the grand scheme of things, it is better and it is not selfish.

This is what Esther Hicks says in her defence of being accused of selfishness, quite different from what I stated, but I don’t think they are telling us everything, for example the ultimate purpose of humanity taken as a whole. According to Esther Hicks, it is necessary to be selfish because, well just because. Resources are limitless, every request for a wish is granted no matter what, and if it does not seem so, well, the others obviously didn’t know that they could ask and receive, it is their problem, not yours. Abraham says:

“Now, occasionally, someone will accuse us of teaching selfishness. And we agree. Indeed, we do teach selfishness, for if you are not selfish enough to deliberately align with the Energy of your Source, you have nothing to give anyway.”

I like that, it is clear, direct, to the point. And indeed, if you are so joyful, happy and so at one with your wellbeing, surely you then have something to offer others? How could you then be selfish? This is their defence, and I have to say, I believe they missed the point of the people accusing them of promoting a selfish philosophy. So, in what way exactly is it selfish to use Esther Hicks’ method? Well, this for example tells it all:

“You Did Not Come to Fix a Broken World. As Non-Physical Source Energy expressing through your physical experience, your physical experience is truly the Leading Edge of thought. And as you are fine-tuning your creative experience, you are taking thought beyond that which it has ever been before. As you enthusiastically made the decision to come into this physical body and create in this way, you understood, from your Non-Physical vantage point, that this physical world was not broken and in need of repair—and you did not come forth to fix it. You saw this physical world as a creative environment in which you, and everyone else, could express yourselves creatively—you did not come forth to try to get others to stop doing what they are doing and do something else. You came forth understanding the value in the contrast, and the balance in the variety. Every physical Being on your planet is your partner in co-creation, and if you would accept that and appreciate the diversity of beliefs and desires— all of you would have more expansive, satisfying, and fulfilling experiences.”

Now, that is what I call selfish. But as I stated before, it isn’t selfish. In the overall scheme of things, the result can only be beneficial to all. No, you’re not going to help the poor with Esther Hicks, you are going to wish for everything you ever wanted to have, that sports car, that great young lover who somehow finds you attractive and desirable even though you are fat and ugly and old, for more money than you could ever hope to get. And in the end, if you truly got all that through her method, then there is no way you would be that bastard alienating everyone else around you. Quite the contrary, you would be a force of nature everywhere you would go.

Maybe, maybe not. Depends I guess on how closely you followed her method. If you follow mine. I guess you could be a bastard, because my method is really selfish indeed, there are no two ways about it, and it is so for any other get rich quick solution on the market, and perhaps even what’s behind The Secret of Rhonda Byrne. That is what is selfish, and who really cares, we all know that we are all selfish, nothing is about to change about that any time soon. Who are you lying to? People praying to God are selfish. Are they not praying for positive and great things to happen to them? And occasionally wishing good health on someone around them? And that would still be selfish, because then they would only be concerned about that sick one because it would affect them personally if that person was to die or be sick any longer. This is a selfish world, just accept it and move on. And yeah, once in a while, do try to wish for this planet to be a better place to live, with less anger, mind games and cruelty as a whole. Certainly it cannot hurt, we’re all suffering from that, are we not?

So, how selfish is Esther Hicks? Less selfish than most other methods I mentioned in my report, including mine, less selfish ultimately than any other philosophy or religion. Because it includes this idea that you need to be as pure as Mother Teresa, feel like Gandhi on his way to unite Pakistan and India, act like Jesus-Christ on his way to be crucified. Don’t forget to feel joyful and peaceful, filled with a great sentiment of wellbeing and elation!

Seriously now, I think why people might think Esther Hicks’ method might be selfish, is because most of the people who would actually read Esther Hicks, will either need a previous baggage of some religion or other, or an interest in new age spirituality philosophy. All of those include a God of some sort, a background telling you that you cannot first think about yourself, but always think of others first. And that if anything good happen to you at all at any time, at some point in time you will have to pay back with something horribly negative to compensate. And you would accept it as such, because after all, that other little miracle did occur in answer to your little prayer to God, and as a consequence you did lose something in return, right?

For example, no business man on his way to success could take Esther Hicks seriously, that man never believed in God for a start, he is selfishness reincarnated. Otherwise, there is no way he would be that merciless and ruthless person who will go on to make millions, controlling the lives of thousands with an iron fist. That man wants my solution, no God, no spirituality, no ritual, no prayers to God, no nonsense, just to the point: how can I get filthy rich and how can I control the whole planet.

Was it what you were thinking about when you read those books about how to get rich? Don’t tell me you ended up reading Esther Hicks without first having read every single self-help book on the market? Wow! Aren’t you the exception. I will give you the benefit of the doubt, you wanted first somehow to help yourself, to be a happier person, and then, were you thinking of the poor dying Africans? Self-help book says it all, you were trying to help yourself, not the planet.

Well, I think we have established that we are all selfish, so now let’s just accept it and let’s move on. Somehow the Third World will save itself, if it wants to. This is the spirit of capitalism after all, isn’t it? All that we have come to believe in since we adopted it as our own Constitution, whether it is a written one or not. I don’t see anyone trying to change the Constitution or the principles our countries have been based on. Even religions embrace it, so there must be nothing wrong with that.

Sorry, is this disturbing to you? Well, perhaps you should face the realities of this world, it is obvious to me, why is it not to you? Not that I think there is anything wrong with that, I just think we should not be hypocrites and that we should know what we are all about, accept it, and move on.

Anyway, what has this world offered you lately? Are you certain you are happier than those dying Africans? I’m not sure I am, you see. Overall I guess happiness has nothing to do with if you eat like a pig, if you are rich or poor, if you are the CEO of a conglomerate or dying in the gutter.

What has this world offered you? Are you happy? Are you pleased with your life? If so, why are you reading this book? Are you not content with how things are? That’s what I thought, you must feel more miserable than anyone who has ever lived, just like I feel sometimes, most of the time. That’s why that, if I don’t get selfish soon, there will be nothing to save. And once I am there, happy and content, feeling great in all my peacefulness, then I will think of helping others.

At the moment, there is nothing I can do, there is nothing I wish to do. If I don’t help myself first, there is no hope for humanity or any kind of contribution to be expected on my part. Otherwise, it would be such on a small scale, it would not be worth considering. I have given a pound to help the Tsunami victims, I bet it went to pay a fat salary of one of those administrators of one of those highly organised charities barely helping anyone, as they are set like capitalist organisations to the core. Gosh I feel bad. And anyway, if I had tried to help, it would have amounted to nothing.

There are other ways to help the planet, better ways, just wish it, be convinced, and it happens. Or just ask and it is given. I cannot think of any other way to achieve anything in this world, on a massive scale, with such high impact. To the point that I feel that if I wish for the Tsunami to have never happened, it would no longer exist.

Perhaps I am too selfish to wish for such a thing, perhaps you are not. Then go for it, you can change the past, you can erase that from history. I know you can, but then, you will no longer be living within my own reality, because in my timeline, the Tsunami will always exist. It has not affected me at all, so it left me completely indifferent. In fact, somehow, the sinking of the Titanic affected me more, even if only 1500 persons died on the Titanic.

We’re living in that kind of universe and I cannot help it, and I will not lie to you. Seems virtual isn’t it? The Tsunami might as well have happened on another planet or on a parallel universe. Perhaps for you it is different. Well then, you know what to do, wish it away, erase it from history, imagine a world without it, convince yourself, and you will soon move into that world.

This is the most significant difference between Esther Hicks’ teachings and mine. You can change your past as well as your future, even though you will not remember it, that’s the catch. But with observation, you could remember it, you will remember it. Be observant of the changes in your life, be convinced, and you can achieve anything, anything. This is what Esther Hicks tells you, however she does not make it so clear, it would frighten you. She has not set any limits either, as far as I know.

Be selfish, but more than that, be godlike. This is why you are here, nothing else. Be godlike, because you are god, and it is about time you understand it. There is no limit to what you can create or achieve, none. Get that engraved in your puny head, you are more powerful than anyone in this universe that you created. It is time to be god and fulfil your true role on this planet, in this universe of yours.

I do understand how far out this may sound. How unlikely, how out of this world. And yet, no matter how I turn it in my mind, after all that I have experienced, I feel it is true, and I feel that you will in time reach the same conclusion. You are that powerful, and you need to be selfish, because ultimately, within this world, there is only you. And you will only change it as long as you believe that you can change it, and it can only be through thoughts, within your own mind, because this is how this world comes to be, how this world exists in the first place.

You need to change the way you see the world, how reality comes to be. You are in absolute control of everything. If you do not see that, if you do not understand that, it will all happen without your control, it will all happen out of control, because then no one will be at the helm stirring the world you live in. Only you is the source of everything that happens, consciously or not.

So what is it going to be? Take control, be the one that makes everything happen, make this world what you want it to be. Do not let it become what your worst fears in your own subconscious mind will dictate it to be. Take control, make it happen!

Do you still wish to become rich?

Have you not been wondering how against religion the message of Abraham is? Was it not surprising to you how suddenly wishing to be rich and powerful is desirable? It stunned me. This is so radical a change from most philosophies and religions, one has to wonder where this sudden change comes from.

The way I read it yesterday, from what I read from the book of Esther Hicks, is that you are truly only creating this universe for your own benefit, a place to learn how to create worlds. And if you are part of it, then it might give you an insight into what you will be creating in the future.

Also sounded as if we only came here for fun, and so, why are we not every night in the middle of an orgy? It certainly does not seem to matter to Abraham or God, there is no judgment in there. This universe, we created it for our own benefit. It does not even appear to be to learn something, except to learn to create universes.

You could kill someone, and yet, it does not seem that it would change anything, especially if you could get away with it, especially if you simply wish to get away with it, and that consequently you did. There does not seem to be any need to be moral or ethical in any way. Does this not strike you as weird?

Of course, if you have followed the guide, there is no way you could be unethical in any way. I just wonder about myself… I seem to always just get halfway into anything I decide to get into. Here’s a big problem identified right here.

What I also understood from what I read, is that I guess that once you are finally ready, then it will not matter, because by then you should already be more like in Mother Teresa’s frame of mind, than your old frame of mind. You would no longer wish to be rich, and perhaps this is what Abraham is banking on. But is that really true? I wonder.

In a way, you have to admit, that the teachings of Abraham are dangerous indeed. I have met a whole string of bad people in Los Angeles, all completely willing to take over the world by force and be the worst tyrants this world has ever known. They were all also interested in all this new age stuff, of how to acquire quickly power and wealth in order to achieve ultimate destruction, and I guess that if they found out about The Secret, then nothing would stop them.

Is this not irresponsible? No. Because ultimately, there is only yourself in this world, this is your own creation, and you are constantly creating it. There is no place in your world for Hitler and Bush, is there? And yet, they both exist in my universe, alongside 9/11.

I guess this answers my need for conspiracy theory, I do have a weak spot for conspiracy theories, even if I don't talk that much about the subject. Got to invent myself interesting mysteries in life, or else, what would be the point of this existence? I love Sherlock Holmes for example, and this is all about mystery, but also all about crime.

There is place for everything within this world, as Esther says, it is the contrast required for you to understand what is good and what is bad, and what it is that you wish this world to be. If you do need to be rich in order to accomplish what you feel needs to be accomplished, then I guess you will first become rich, and then be able to concentrate on whatever else you want to create.

I often think this is a pre-requisite for me, to become rich in order to gain my freedom, and so I will finally be able to concentrate on all of this, even for a start having the time to finish reading all the books of Esther Hicks. At this rate, with my full time job, it may well take me a full year.

What if I am wrong? What if I can gain my freedom without having to become rich? What if I can already create the world I want without this need to become rich? What if? I don’t know. A lot of thinking is required, a lot of imagination, how can I still achieve all that I wish to achieve without being rich, without having the full freedom I feel is necessary before I can even truly seriously get into all of this?

It may seem like I am deep into it, I assure you, this is only part time. I hope to finish this book somehow, within the year, but I can think of a few ways to speed up the process, to speed up my full understanding. I guess I better start dreaming the perfect world I wish to live in, the very one that will bring about my full potential as a master creator of the universe. I need time, I need freedom, and right now, the only way I can see this happening, is for me to become rich overnight. So I suppose this is where I should start. Money falling from the sky, freeing me completely to pursue any endeavour.

Let’s get to work. Let’s get rich, let’s get our freedom, so we can have the time to create freely, beyond anything that ever was. Do you still wish to become rich? I do, in fact, I need to, and so I will become. Just watch me go, I am too deep into it, I will become rich, just to free myself, just so I can concentrate on this full time.

It will only be a mean to an end, it is not an essential goal, but perhaps it is alarmingly becoming so. I will be rich, I will be free, I will find happiness, I will create the world I feel I deserve! It is in the making, I have already thought it, it is about to happen, I can feel it, it is already here, I made it happen, it is already my reality, I already feel as such: I am rich! I am free!

What about you? How do you feel? Do you not feel it is already here? All that you wished for? All that you created within your own mind? Do you have such a long way to go? Or can it all already be here, all within your grasp, right now? It is up to you, it is up to me. How strongly do you believe this? How certain are you that you can create the world you want? There you are. Let’s give it our best shot, and let’s see what happens.

I am very confident, because of my past successes. I understand you might not be that confident, but you will be after you first successes. So let’s get to work, let’s wish the world we wish for ourselves. And from there, let’s go create the world that we feel should be.

Esther Hicks’ 22 processes to improve your point of attraction

When I finally started reading the 22 processes, I was overwhelmed. It goes on forever, then I saw that it was the rest of the book, half of it. So in essence, those 22 processes, which are ways for you to maximise changing your future or your reality, are what this book is mostly about.

I felt like perhaps I had missed it completely in my little method I was offering the world when considering how you can change your future. My own processes were resumed to one line: just wish it, be convinced and it happens. And yet, it was also the title of Hicks: Ask and It Is Given. If she had stopped there, we would not be talking about this now.

I could invent some processes just as she did, in order to help you succeed. The truth is, I feel that you would feel, just like I feel right now reading those 22 processes. Overwhelmed, lost, discouraged, unmotivated when looking at the shear scale of everything you will have to do and practice on a daily basis in order to perhaps, I don’t know, make you a little bit more successful at changing your life?

I would be afraid that you would give it, just like I am pretty certain that I will if I espouse those processes and try to enhance this wellbeing and how I feel. It would take over my life, and I simply do not have the time or the energy to get into this way of life.

I can prove my point quite easily. When you were in class, any class whatever if you were an adult or a child, and the teacher asked you to pick up a piece of paper and start writing things down, things you needed to think about, how did you feel? Awful, I’m sure. At the very least, I firmly believe that all your work and attempts at changing your future should be done mentally, in your head, and never on a daily basis so it does not become a chore, start alienate you and take over your life. Otherwise you will soon give up, I am certain of it.

This said, there are in those processes very interesting ideas, and I’m sure they could only help you if you are truly serious about creating your new reality. I may even myself keep certain ideas to help me feel better, even though this is not exactly, in my mind, related to creating my future. In fact, many of these processes are targeting this feeling better business, in order to allow what you wish into your life, once the Source Energy is ready to deliver what you asked for.

Perhaps I do not see how essential all these processes truly are, as I never thought I might be disallowing anything from coming into my life. I have wished for it, sometimes out of anger, and it came just as I asked, whilst I was still probably at the lowest point of Esther’s ladder of emotions. I never had to worry about most of these processes. The only value I find in them is that somehow it could improve my existence as I would become a better person as a consequence, more peaceful and happy, all without actually the need to call upon the law of attraction or anything magical.

I would like to tell you not to waste your time with all those processes. However I need to also add that if you read them and if really it is useful to you for whatever reason, then go for it. Perhaps only a few processes will be useful, but if you don’t feel like it, just forget it. It works even if you had never read any of these processes, though it is true that I cannot confirm right now if perhaps you would be more successful if you followed that method.

It requires a lot of time, attention, motivation, and so on. Maybe I am not that serious about changing my future, even though I am writing a book about it. I mainly write it because I wish to understand the phenomenon, see if it can lead to some understanding of the universe we live in, its mechanisms and our place within it.

I am not convinced yet that what Esther Hicks says is that important or essential to this law of attraction. Perhaps one day I will, if I suddenly become much more successful at it using her method. I feel though that this has complicated matters to such an extent, it is now asking from you a commitment. And we all know how faithful we are to any big commitment if nothing is actually obliging us to follow through. You might be better with my method, and keep in mind the general ideas of what Esther Hicks stated that I have mentioned here, just in case you find out in time that it does work better when you feel better. I have no proof to offer from my experience. True, I rarely felt good to start up with, so how would I know.

It is also true that I am an author, I write all the time, I create and imagine worlds on a daily basis not only in my mind, but also in writing, and as such I am actually already accomplishing many of the processes identified by Esther Hicks. It could explain why I have been successful at making events and things happen in my life. So maybe those processes help much more than I believe they do. I still maintain though that perhaps they are not necessary for you to become successful at this.

It’s your decision. If your concentration span is very short, follow the most direct and easy method. If you are highly intellectual and already living much more within your mind than in the real world, you might as well give it a go and follow those 22 processes. For you they might actually truly feel like a game instead of hard work.

We are immortal and every death is a suicide

Near the end of Ask and It Is Given, Esther Hicks makes these bold statements:

“You Could Remain in These Bodies Indefinitely. Are we saying that you could reach what you consider to be a prime human physical condition and that you could maintain it for as long as you remain physically focused in this body? The answer is... absolutely yes.”

“Every Death Is Self-imposed. …every death is a suicide because every death is self-imposed.”

Now, it might seem that I took those two statements out of two lines within the book, but the first lines of both statements are actually chapter’s titles. It is that important and true for the Hicks.

Now, these are extraordinary statements, even I, who can be very extreme and out of this world after drinking a whole bottle of wine, never went as far as saying that we are immortal if we wish to be, and every single death is a suicide.

I am well aware that you could instantly present me a myriad of examples to contradict these statements. The oldest human being to have ever lived was 122, I think. To this day, there is no proof anyone can live much longer than that, unless they were to be transposed into a machine. When there is a world war and millions die, are all these deaths suicides? Interesting questions in light of the previous assertions.

I believe it, and I don’t think any student of Esther Hicks would deny it either, whatever the proofs you could show us. Is it because I am irrational and logic has deserted me? No, it is because if you accept the initial premises, then these statements are logical conclusions. And then, you need a lot of faith indeed to believe it.

The fact that we were all born believing we were mortals and would not go much beyond 75 years old, does not mean we could not live to be 1000 years old in these physical bodies, or even, be immortals. As soon as you start believing that you will die eventually, sooner rather than later, you are already dead. As soon as you believe that you can live forever and can cure yourself of any disease, as I am certain we can all do, then you are immortal indeed.

Death can only be, in this philosophy, something you wish upon yourself, for whatever reason, since you are responsible for your own reality, you make it happen as you go along, you create your universe. And if you are one in millions who die at the war, well, you must have wanted it to happen, you wished upon yourself and you died. If you had left for the war convinced you would come back alive, you would have come back alive. These suicides at war happens almost by default, just because they taught they had no control over their destinies, they were already convinced they would die, and so they did, they made it happen, when they could have wished for life instead, and convince themselves that they would survive it, as we can survive anything, since we are the only instigators of our own experience, of our whole life.

I’m glad Esther Hicks was bold enough to say it, to push her own ideas to the limits, and admit what it truly means. It saves me from making those bold statements on her behalf, because these are only logical conclusions to what she says. No matter how extreme these statements are, if you truly believe this, you also have to believe that if you wish so, you can be immortal and your death can only happen if somehow you desire it, because you felt that you had learn everything you had to learn here, or wished to move to something else because you had enough, or if you felt totally powerless to radically change your existence the way you wanted it to be.

Strong lessons of life, and somehow I feel this is true. I might not be able to convince myself of that, so I might die sooner rather than later, especially that I have been suicidal most of my life anyway to begin with. Why I am not dead yet, is because somehow I also feel I have not done all that I feel I needed to do, I have more books to write, more things to understand, but there will be a point where I will feel that I had enough and no longer will I wish to remain alive.

There was a time that I was convinced I would not live to be 30 years old, I almost made it happen. But then highly interesting things happened in my life, and I felt like continuing just a bit more, and see where this might lead, what else I could learn and write about. Now I feel I am at the beginning, and that many years would be required for me to learn and put all that I learn into practice.

Some nights, I really had enough and could end it right there and now. The next morning however I no longer think as such, and feel that I would have regretted it. The idea of being immortal is repulsive to me, as I suffered too much in this existence to let it continue forever. If somehow I can stop suffering, then I may wish to reconsider this. My problem is that I seem to suffer no matter what, even when success and happiness surround me. Perhaps what I am looking for, from this existence, has nothing to do with whatever happens in my life. I want answers to my questions, I want to understand everything there is to understand about this universe and our existence. And somehow, if I feel that none of this is forthcoming, I come to believe that there is no reason to continue. I could be wrong, I have been wrong before.

Somehow, I feel that even Esther Hicks and the teachings of Abraham will not bring me the answers I am looking for, especially if I cannot verify it all by myself in the here and now, and I cannot. I go on intuition and feelings, and I’m afraid, that is not enough.

Can we trust the Teachings of Abraham?

Abraham do not tell us anything about evil, it is as if it never existed. Does evil exist? That is a minor point. A more important one is where exactly are Abraham speaking from? What is that realm Abraham actually evolve in? Can Abraham just jump to the end and tell us the most basic things about this existence, skipping all but the most important questions?

Like, how do you explain this world in the first place? What is this universe? What is it that exists beyond our physical existence, what are those other realms of the non-physical? Do you have a breakdown of all these other worlds, realms, realities? You talk about who we were before we decided to come here, well, where were we before? What sort of life or existence were we leading? You say that now we remember about ourselves and the reason we came here, well I don’t remember anything, I am still completely in the dark, and I need to know. So can Abraham speak a bit more about what is this universe as a whole, both on the physical and non-physical planes? Tell us more about who we were before we came here, help us remember more of that other world we all come from, and how it actually works?

I do understand that Abraham did not wish to overwhelm us with a complete picture of the universe and its inner workings. His teachings are meant for the masses, and therefore it needs to be kept to a minimum, to the point. Any more than that, and it will confuse the issues, the whole enterprise would fail.

It is all right if you can blindly get into something, do what you are told, and if somehow you gain something out of it, then why should you question any further? I’m not like that you see. I’d rather understand what I am doing and the purpose of it, the consequences if any, what role I play in the grander scheme of everything. Not only it is only fair that I understand everything, it is also kind of required for me before I decide to pledge anything to anyone. If I understand everything first, I am more likely to be successful in what I do. As when I walk blindly, I may reach some successes, but eventually I will certainly hit many walls and simply give it all up.

I can’t help it. Once I get into Esther Hicks’ universe, what become my main concern and my only quest, have nothing to do with changing my future, to become richer or find happiness. My only questions are about who is Abraham, what kind of world is Abraham evolving in, what does it look like, how do people live there, have we been there before, are we returning there, and what else exists, what other worlds? I want a whole picture of that universe, a true understanding of all these worlds (if they exist). And we have been fed so many lies before, with so many contradictions, who can we trust about these worlds we can never truly remember or understand anything about?

People have asked Esther Hicks before, who was Abraham. Some answers have come, I have heard them, but it is largely insufficient, it still makes no sense to me, we still understand nothing. If Jerry Hicks was so good at asking those most important questions, why does he not write a book himself about what he learnt from Abraham? Or do they feel we are not ready for that kind of truth, and all that is important right now is that we make a wish, and see it come true?

I’m afraid, there are existential questions here that are far more important from my point of view. I still understand nothing about what this universe we are living in is all about and our purpose within it. I cannot agree that our only purpose is to have come here just to practice creating realities. I know we can. What’s next? Why are we doing this? What greater purpose does it serve? What is really going on here? I have more questions, and I have no need for more vague answers which answer nothing.

I believe Esther and Jerry Hicks have already said all that they needed to say on the topic of asking and it is given, on the topic that we can create our own reality and existence. Now they need to move on to more serious stuff, more important things. They need to stop wasting their time having these workshops and other conferences on cruises or hotels, and start asking the right questions and writing books about the answers.

Others have taken over, we all know now that main message of changing our future according to Abraham. We need more, we need answers to more important questions, real defining ones, what are we truly all about, what is this world truly all about. We need full descriptions in terms we can understand, we need to feel inside that this is the truth.

Quite a challenge I would imagine, but if it is true that this is truly who we are, and that all that is required for us is to remember it, then surely it cannot be that hard to insure that we do in fact remember it. We are all ready to wake up, we are asking for nothing else, perhaps if we were told the whole truth, we might actually understand it all, and finally wake up for good.

What is the meaning of “expanding” and “expansion” of the universe(s)?

Now, let’s talk about the fact that Esther Hicks keeps mentioning that the universe is expanding, and that we need to insure it keeps expanding. This suggests that we could stop it from expanding, or at least, slow this expansion. This is quite a statement, and it certainly seems to be coming out of nowhere, because it can only be meaningless to most of us.

If we do not create anything, if we think we are innocent bystanders within our own existence, and just go for a ride from what others are creating, then we are not helping the expansion of the universe, according to Esther. If we create our own experience, through our own thoughts, through creating leading thoughts within our mind about our deepest desires, then the expanding of the universe goes ahead, as creation is truly expanding the universe according to her.

Esther often uses the word “expansion” and “expanding”, almost as synonyms of creation. What is she talking about? What is expanding exactly? The universe, of course. But how is it that ideas in your mind can create universes, and in return, expand the universe further? And are we not at the leading edge of this expansion of the universe, in this space-time reality, as she says? Why is this expansion highly important, essential, critical? She mentions it so often, and yet, I am certain, it goes well above the head of anyone listening to her. For example, if you read her book, I am certain you have not noticed it up until now.

For me, to understand how the universe can expand is critical. And yet, it could be such a simple explanation, I am almost afraid of sending her an email and get her answer. And yet, if the answer was so obvious and without consequence, I cannot think or imagine why she would put such an emphasis on it. It would seem insignificant.

In the book Ask and It Is Given, “expand(s)”, “expanding” or “expansion” are mentioned a total of sixty times, almost once every two pages. This is not a random occurrence, the word also appears in chapter’s titles. It is highly important to her, and yet, totally meaningless to us all at this time.

There are many ways by which we could interpret the universe we’re living in as expanding, the expansion of the universe is even a well known theory in Physics by which the universe keeps expanding simply by all the galaxies running away from each other in space, expanding the universe as they are doing so.

Somehow, this cannot be what Esther is talking about. No matter in what way I could try to picture this, you thinking new ideas, creating new worlds and universes, could not help getting these galaxies to run away from each other faster and faster in order to get the universe to expand faster. And what would be the point of this, why would it be so important that the universe grows larger, expands further?

If that is important, dear me, it can only be important at another scale universe, in which the size of our universe could play a role in a much larger structure filled with other such expanding universes, or baby universes if you read the book of Stephen Hawking upon the subject.

Perhaps this is what Esther is talking about, something way beyond our comprehension, and yet, so important in the grander scheme of schemes, and hierarchies in this universe. The fact that she suggests that there are many universes, then perhaps this becomes important, that our own little creations expand enough to the point of becoming significant, moving from baby universes to adult universes perhaps, I don’t know.

On the other hand, there is another way to interpret this expansion of the universe. This expanding universe. It is through Expansion Theory, described in the book The Final Theory, written by Mark McCutcheon. It happens that in my own experiences and observations of this universe I evolve in, I came to re-interpret the ways we view physics, theoretical physics. I have my own ideas I developed on my websites for years now, however I found that what Mark McCutcheon wrote in his book is closer to the truth. It completely convinced me that he was right, and that I was right myself along the lines I was thinking then. It is the only theory of everything on the market, I feel, that answers everything about theoretical physics.

In this theory, Newton and Einstein were wrong. This cannot come as a surprise to you, Einstein brought us a new version of what gravity could be all about, and hence killed Newton. And yet, we all knew, even Einstein himself, that there was still something quite wrong with relativity, it was still not a theory of everything. And Einstein was still searching for the Theory of Everything when he died. I feel this theory has come to light with Mark McCutcheon and Expansion Theory, though this is not proven yet. There are many other candidates on the market, like String Theory or Superstrings if you prefer.

You may wonder where I am going with this. Well, it is simple. If truly Abraham was this all knowing collective of beings, I would not expect this collective of higher beings to confirm to us that Newton was right about gravity, when Einstein proved that he was wrong. And now that we know that Einstein could be wrong or that a big chunk of the answer is missing, I would expect Abraham to tell us what gravity is, what are the true laws of nature, or physics, to tell us who is on the right path with the Theory of Everything.

My problem with The Secret of Rhonda Byrne, I am telling you right now, is that they use quantum physics to prove some of their points and arguments. Well, you see, according to Mark McCutcheon and my own conclusions upon the subject, from before I even read McCutcheon, are that quantum mechanics is fundamentally flawed and totally unnecessary.

Now, I am quite willing to accept that I have been mistaken within my own observations and conclusions, especially that I am no expert, just like Mark McCutcheon could be mistaken, and that quantum mechanics is actually on the right path and on the way to become a theory of everything, even though no one can see this happening any time soon, and that anyone working in those fields are stupefied by its conclusions and cannot explain any of it, and so a lot more discoveries will be required before I can, before we can embrace it all. Still, I would require from Abraham to confirm to me that quantum mechanics is on the right path to explain this physical world which he/they mention a lot.

I am not expecting as much from Rhonda Byrne. She does not claim to be channelling truths from the other side. Her work is a patchwork of what many people with some parts of the truths, whatever at which level they are in their understanding of it, are. I am expecting from Rhonda Byrne a lot of information that you need to sift through, take a lot, leave a lot.

When it comes to Esther Hicks however, I cannot be so kind. If she brings theoretical physics into the equation, which I am, and I cannot dissociate myself from it, I need to pay attention. As it turns out, she does not. It is mentioned in the foreword of her book, however it is some Doctor speaking, not Abraham or Esther Hicks.

If Abraham truly exists, I would think he knows all the answers, and that is probably the only question I would ask of him. What is the theory of everything in theoretical physics? And if they, Abraham, were to tell me that it is quantum mechanics, I would have to seriously doubt it, or at least question why they would so blatantly lie to me. We all know that quantum mechanics at the moment, is far from answering everything in Physics. And if it does one day, quite a revolution in Physics will be necessary.

So far, the only clue I have about it, is this expansion of the universe, this importance of expanding the universe. And as it turns out, and this is why I have given you such an introduction about Mark McCutcheon and Expansion Theory, this is so in tune with what I have been thinking, and writing about, and what Mark McCutcheon has come up with to explain the Physics of this world, it is too good to be true.

You see, according to Expansion Theory, this world is composed of only one single elementary particle, the electron. An atom is composed of electrons supposedly orbiting protons and neutrons. Protons and neutrons, according to Expansion Theory, are actually simply composed of many electrons. So this whole world we’re living in, is only made of electrons, it is an electronic world.

And the world of electronics in our universe is best pictured with a computer, which its sole purpose is to move around electrons and turning them into a logical machine capable of computing, very similar to our brain. And the way a computer brings to life a virtual universe, is via a monitor, just like a television is. A monitor simply brings about electrons to line up in order to create images, moving images, virtual universes. And as such, our reality is no different from what a computer can do, it is the same thing. The truth is, a computer does not need a monitor or a television to create virtual universes, it can still create them and keep the game running even without the monitor or the TV.

In a way, we could say that with computers we have recreated the very thing God has done and that we may be doing when we talk about creating universes. So there is nothing magical here about creation. However, what is new is that our brain is doing the very same thing a computer does. It creates universes, and not necessarily only one.

I suspect it can create as many universes as we wish, most of them quite similar to the previous ones, but it can radically create different ones, to the point that you can wake up the next day on Mars as an astronaut, if you think you can actually believe it and create that universe for you to evolve in.

This is what Esther Hicks is all about. If you want to visit other solar systems, other galaxies, there is nothing stopping you from doing so. Just wish it, convince yourself that it is true, and there you are, you will create that universe, you will wake up tomorrow morning exploring other galaxies, and you will not remember that previous existence where you were a simple executive working in an office, being abused by your line manager. Try however to remember that you can still change your reality at will, just in case you do not enjoy your new creation. I suspect it can be lonely in those other galaxies.

The problem is, you could never convince yourself that it is possible, not yet anyway. And Esther Hicks does not talk about such radical changes in your life, everything still needs to make sense, to be linear, to be built upon what already exists. And so wishing to be an astronaut exploring other galaxies, though it might not happen, I wonder what would happen instead in your life which would be a perfect match for that kind of desire I always had.

However, I am losing track of what I was trying to say. Expansion Theory is all about electrons constantly expanding, they are constantly and steadily growing in size at the same rate all the time. Since everything is composed of electrons, and that electrons are constantly expanding in size at their usual rate, any object composed of these electrons is also expanding and growing in size at quite a high rate. The larger the object, meaning, the more electrons this object is made of, the more this object expands in size as time goes by.

To give you an idea about how fast the Earth expands in time, if I were to drop you from a plane at 30,000 feet in the air, let me explain to you what would actually happen. When I kick you out of the plane, you are not actually falling, you are not in free fall towards the Earth. You are actually not moving at all, you are simply staying put at the very point I put you, floating immobile in space. You are not falling towards the Earth, you are not attracted to the Earth via some sort of law of attraction, you do not move. The Earth expands towards you at this alarming rate of 9.8 meters per second, this is how fast the distance between you and the Earth shrinks as both of you expand every second.

And the friction, and the winds, and all that you feel, it is the air the Earth pushes towards you in its expansion. You do not fall towards the Earth, as if attracted by it as Newton stated (two bodies are attracted to each other), you do not fall towards Earth because the Earth makes a bigger dimple into the fabric of spacetime and you cannot help falling towards it because you do not make any dimple at all into the fabric of spacetime (in the rubber sheet), as Einstein stated. You are actually simply standing there in the air where you are, and the Earth expands towards you at that rate. Not only that, this expansion of the Earth, and everything in this universe, is exponentially accelerating in time.

This expansion of the electrons explains gravity entirely, and just about everything else in physics. There is no more mystery about anything in theoretical physics if we consider Expansion Theory. I understand it will take a long while before the scientific world realises this, however, it could very well happen overnight.

But never mind all that for now. I’m sure you are not ready to hear this, until you pick up the book by Mark McCutcheon upon the subject, if you happen to be interested. I’m telling you this because this is important to me, it is central to my beliefs in theoretical physics. And not only Abraham does not contradict any of this so far, Abraham kinds of confirm a big chunk of it, by using this word, expansion, expanding, and how important it seems.

Well, if you are creating universes, I would imagine they would very much reflect the one you live in right now. The world we live in right now, could very well be an expanding one, not only because galaxies are running away from each other in space every second, creating one sort of expansion of the universe, but also because everything within that universe is actually expanding (growing) in size every fraction of a second.

And this expansion of the electrons is responsible not only for gravity, but also for how electrons can keep together in order to form atoms, cells, molecules, solid objects. It is the true law of attraction of this physical universe, the expansion of the electrons pushing against each other, which sort of glue everything together, to the atom, to the cell, to the molecule, to yourself, to the Earth, to the solar system, to the galaxy. Expansion of the only elementary particle of the universe is what makes this universe possible. Controlling in some way this expansion of the electron, must be key to controlling the creation of the universe.

In today’s physics, I have to tell you, attraction, repulsion, magnets, the creation of any type of energy, are all poorly understood concepts. Expansion Theory explains it all, however it remains an unproven theory. I am not inviting you here to go and read it, I think it will be pointless.

And yet, Abraham does not contradict this theory of theoretical physics, in fact, Abraham seems to be embracing it, even though it is so vague. I need confirmation. What is this expansion and expanding of the universe all about? And is Esther Hicks even aware of the true meaning of what she says, or simply tells us what Abraham communicates through her, without even herself being aware of the truth of it?

I have only one question to ask Abraham then: Are electrons actually expanding in size in time, and if so, at which rate?

This is not a trick question, we know the expansion rate of the atom, but not of the electron, according to Expansion Theory. Answering that question would not only validate Expansion Theory, it would open up something fantastic, something out of this world. The expansion rate of the electron, we could not possibly find out. Abraham might know. I’m going to send my question right now. There, it is done. I have no doubt I will not receive an answer to my email, however it is worth a try.

One way or another, I need to find out more about what Esther Hicks means by expanding and expansion of the universe, and why this is so important. If you know the answer, please let me know.

PART III

The Secret of Rhonda Byrne

The Secret, the film

All right, I got the chance to watch the film The Secret. I was lucky enough, though I went out of my way to get it, to watch the version with Esther Hicks. I can see now that you would indeed miss the most important part of The Secret without Esther Hicks in it. However, if you can read her book, it does not really matter, just read Ask and It Is Given and you will have a complete picture of that famous secret. Hicks does not say more in the film than she is already stating in her book.

Anyway, watching The Secret on its own, I have to say, can only be the very beginning of your adventure. Because at the end, you will be left with more questions than answers. All these people, professional trainers, motivational spiritualists, to quantum physicists, including many authors and philosophers, they tell you one thing: wish it and it happens.

Though they attempt to explain why or how this is so, why there is some sort of natural law of attraction, none of them can explain it. As a result it goes in all directions, there are a lot of repetitions, and it does leave you with some sort of emptiness. What does it all mean? Why is this so? What kind of universe would be built on such premises? What does the purpose of existence become in all of that?

At first sight, when confronted with all these professional speakers, all probably on the conference circuit either on their own account or on behalf of others, are all filthy rich, and so when they tell you that you can be rich as well, just by visualising wealth and prosperity, at least they are not themselves living in the dumpsters, like I am. On the other hand I wished for this, my freedom and my happiness are all that count for me. It does not preclude that I wish to be poor, it is just that it was not necessary for me to be rich. This may change one day, I may wish to be rich, just so I can enjoy more freedom, and yes, I will work on this.

These people however all seem to be rich because of one thing only, The Secret itself. They all jumped on the bandwagon of exploiting the idea to death, by stating that they are helping others understanding it, how to apply it into their life, how they can turn their life around in no time.

It makes you wonder, if they had not stumbled upon the secret, or if they had and decided instead to use the secret to something else instead of exploiting that very idea in order to become rich, where would they be now? Would they be rich and successful? Perhaps, perhaps not. I would think so, if they have stumbled upon the secret, however I cannot confirm it.

I wonder if writing a book upon the subject, as they all did, does not actually reinforce all these concepts within your mind and expedite your way to richness, wealth and success. So I suppose that it is to be expected that all these guys are now all successful, even if it was all built on the exploitation of the very idea that changed their existence.

Surprising enough, tough none of these speakers ever speak for more than a few sentences at a time, before we switch to another, the whole thing comes up as one unified set of ideas, well constructed and put together. How can this be so? Could be because this whole aura surrounded this production and in the end it could not fail, it could also be a remarkable work of editing built upon a very well established line of thought, a plan. There is no denying that the people who worked on the marketing of this film achieved a miracle, everything looks great, well put together, even gives you a feel good sensation.

I also believe nonetheless that all these people can be so well mixed and edited together as if finishing the thoughts of another, simply because they are saying the same thing, read the same books, teach the same teachings, though all of them apply them in different areas of life, be it companies’ success, health, spiritual life, physics.

Either they all stumbled upon the same truth and it is so clear when you start thinking about it that they all come forward stating the same thing, or they all read the same books, which is more likely. I have discovered the secret on my own, there is no way I would have gone on that programme repeating what they say like a parrot, about feeling positive and good and the law of attraction, etc.

So in my opinion, in this business, as it is what it is, the business of The Secret, there are only a few thinking mind, who researched it and wrote about it. At this time, I don’t know who. I would guess Esther and Jerry Hicks together are one of them, and even then, I would need to read everything they refer to in order to confirm it. I also believe that another big source is the very book which inspired The Secret in the first place: Thought Vibration or the Law of Attraction in the Thought World by William Walker Atkinson. I will be reading this next.

I may also bypass most of the people talking about getting rich quick and how to turn your company into a successful one, because none of them stroked me as if this was what they came up with on their own. They are great speakers and great parrots, they have read everything. I could be mistaken, and some of them are perhaps gems of new ideas that can make that subject move forward, if so, how could they have missed shining and showing it in the film The Secret?

Clearly, only Esther Hicks brought us anything tangible about this, and yet, I do understand that on this platform, she was highly limited and could only bring about the most basic of her ideas. And yet, it showed, she shined when compared to others.

This may sound mean, but you have to understand where I’m coming from. It is more important for me to understand this phenomenon, explain it somehow, than actually using it to better my life. As such, I need to get back to the source, the initial writers or others who really discovered it, thought about it, tried to offer us any kind of explanation, to make it fit in some sort of purpose to our existence.

Rhonda Byrne may have now become one person at the top of who are the most influential people on the planet, and yet, she is not the source, she does not speak that much on her film The Secret, even her book is more a transcription of everything everyone else said.

As such her work becomes invaluable to me, she did the hard work for you and I in our search for the truth. She has identified and brought to us almost everyone talking about that phenomenon. And now my investigation can begin. I will try to investigate all those speakers, I will give them the benefit of the doubt, I hope I will have the time and the motivation. Unfortunately I cannot spend ten years writing this book.

So, who is worth investigating in that whole bunch? I suppose a quick read on Wikipedia eventually will tell me more, something might click in my mind and then I will wish to look further. But not tonight, I have to go to work tomorrow. I am still not free to do whatever I want whenever I want, at this time anyway.

The Secret is a perfect introduction

Something hit me in what Esther Hicks said, and I feel it is quite true. She said something along the lines that if you start wishing life changing events into your life, all by yourself, they will happen, however you will be very much alone in your universe depending on what you wish for.

In my case it is always far reaching and larger than life. When it happens though, I find that my partner cannot follow suit. For example, because of immigration laws, whilst I broke all records and managed to find myself in Los Angeles against all odds for a Canadian, it turned out that in the case of my partner, it was just impossible to immigrate. So I eventually gave up my dreams and came back to London.

Reading a book for my partner is not an option. And yet, somehow I have to communicate what it is that I am doing, changing not only my future, but our future, since if we both work at it together, when these life changing events come running at our door, as they did in the past, it will include both of us. This film of Rhonda Byrne, I watched it tonight with my partner, we talked about it, we will now work together on it.

The Secret also has this great advantage, that it does not try to push down your throat any God, religious concept or spiritual new age stuff. It is therefore accessible to all, it was acceptable to my partner. And when you look at it this way, God, religion and spiritual philosophies, are all about trying to explain this phenomenon and your purpose in this life. So you cannot reject it all at once.

However, if even quantum physicists can now offer you answers, like this one being that the universe cannot be dissociated from the mind, and that one way of looking at the world is really defined by your mind and thoughts, then there could be many explanations indeed in order to reach the same conclusion.

Of course, I have already rejected quantum physics as being able to explain any of this. Their references in the film, though they don’t state it clearly, it is all about the Heisenberg uncertainty principle and the Schrödinger’s cat thought experiment. As soon as you observe the universe, it becomes what you observe at that particular time. And before you observe it, that universe exists in all its possible configurations, only to be defined by your one unique observation at one specific time. The Many-Worlds interpretation of the universe, against the wave function universe.

I think that quantum physics with all its spookiness is not a theory of everything, and once we find a better theory to explain physics, these uncertainties and weird phenomena will simply disappear. God does not play dice with the universe, as Einstein stated, when looking at quantum physics, even though he helped defined quantum physics in no uncertain terms.

With Bohr, Einstein can be described as the father of quantum physics, even though he felt it was wrong. It helps to show how misguided all of this truly is. Not that Einstein was right about anything though, from my point of view. I think that before we should think of eliminating Hitler, if we could travel back in time, we should first consider killing Einstein before he was even born. It would help us no end. But these are my personal thoughts, of no consequence of course.

To get back to The Secret, funny it should bring physicists to accept such concept as us being able to influence reality through our thoughts alone, as something possible. However, even though this is true, quantum physics will never explain why this is true, not at this time. Which might explain why religion and the spiritual world have come in to offer us an explanation, and yet, I am still comfortable with their explanation.

Nice try, convincing enough, but… something is amiss, I am still looking for answers on the scientific side of it beyond quantum physics. Those physicists are misguided, and they will understand that soon enough, they will then be ashamed to have been associated with this film.

I’m glad they did though, get associated with such wild ideas. It shows that as long as your theory seems to fit the bill, you are ready to consider anything. And so, if your theory does not fit the bill, and yet, you still feel that it may be the truth, well, open you mind then, because there is much more about this world than any mathematical equation will ever answer. Perhaps God does play dice with the universe, and it is all left to us to build it the way we want, to throw the dice.

It might be beneficial to me to investigate those physicists a bit further, and report here if I feel they are totally misguided or if they perhaps stumbled upon some sort of truth. Explaining this phenomenon from the point of view of science is certainly one of my goals, even though I am aware it may prove difficult, as it seems so intangible.

I even thought for a while that biology might bring some answers, as it is so clearly stated in The Secret. Our thoughts have frequencies, they seem to be emitting and receiving emissions, just like television and radio sets. If we are not telepathic, perhaps there are still processes within this universe capable of receiving these broadcasts and answer them somehow. Maybe, who knows? It is worth investigating.

Moving beyond the introduction

So, overall I feel The Secret is the perfect introduction, if unlike me you have not first experienced it yourself first hand, start wishing for things, concentrating, and believing it has come true, and see the most fantastic miracles happening. And from there, go on in search of more, an explanation perhaps, or even just a validation that you are not going crazy and that you are ready for the asylum.

I think it could be easy to watch The Secret and not understand anything about what they are talking about. You could easily think that we are not talking magic and miracles here, but simply the most basic concepts that any psychologist will tell you, think positive and suddenly everything will seem much more positive in your life.

That’s not it, far from it. And although they all understand what they are talking about, and are all on the same wavelength in the film, they may not convey that well that there is something truly extraordinary and unbelievable going on here. They all accept that they cannot explain it, but here it is and it works.

Who could explain it without first redefining everything about what we believe in and were taught for so many millennia? How can you explain that what you are thinking becomes reality, that if you think of something hard enough, it will materialise within your existence as if per magic? That if you suddenly wish for everything at work to be better, no more bullying and discrimination and hard bastards as managers, suddenly it will all change overnight? How do you explain such powers of the mind over matter, and not only matter, but whole configurations of the universe that you can change at will overnight?

Before you could explain that, you would need to explain everything else about this universe. How it actually works in practice, its purpose, how it was built, how it receives its commands and how it goes about to create the very things and situations you wish for, or think about.

It certainly puts a spin on everything you thought this place was all about, the mechanisms of existence, and finally how important your little self can actually be and become if you put your mind to it. And all of this, with the smallest effort ever, with virtually almost no action on your part. Almost as if you simply sat down at your computer and built yourself the game adventure of a lifetime, and programmed it all in the language C++. As if suddenly the ways the universe seem to work, have much more to do with how a computer creates virtual worlds than anything else.

I will also admit that a lot of what we have been thought through many religions, might have had a greater glimpse into all this than first suspected. How they failed to clearly state it for us to understand it in the first place, is a mystery, but once you have experienced it yourself, suddenly you see the light, you understand what they were taking about.

As I said before, the Genesis of the Christian Bible, this tale now can make sense. How some God, which you now understand can be yourself, goes about to create a world, a whole world filled with people all capable of creating their own existence and experience, to the point that they too one day, and perhaps are already, creating new universes like described in the Genesis, on a daily basis, as they re-organise the configuration of the universe at will, creating more and more of the same, and yet a little bit different every time, whether it is negative or positive, can actually exist… it all finally makes sense, somehow.

You would have thought that, if that was true - and right now I am inclined to believe that it is - why would this have been hidden from us? And is it really hidden from us? It is in the Bible, the very first book, the oldest one ever. And yet, not one of us could understand it, no one explained it to us in such a manner that suddenly not only it would become crystal clear, it would define the very reason of our existence. The entire why we are here on earth, to create universes, or on a smaller scale, our own experience, which is the same thing.

Now you understand that with a true understanding of this phenomenon, it is hard to be thinking about getting money or a sports car. It may be part of it, and beginners might want to start there until they realise for themselves that it works, and then move on to larger things, large scale events, creating infinite universes instead of very small ones, etc. However, this is more significant a secret than just wishing for money and things. It is life defining, it changes your whole perspective on everything that there is. It finally opens up your eyes to what this universe might actually be all about and your role within it. Everyone else seems to have failed to see that, I can barely believe it, as it is so obvious.

That is the secret as I came to understand it, and so far only Esther Hicks comes close to offering me something more than just: hey look, you can wish for things and events and it becomes reality. It goes beyond all that, it becomes insignificant. It is like being given the Earth to play with, even although you will limit yourself to changing your immediate future, which might only go a few miles or kilometres away from your home, when you could in fact have the whole universe as a playing field, and even beyond this universe.

And if it is so, well, we better get to work, we better identify the true laws of nature, the mechanisms of existence, and their limits if there are any. Let’s move on from everything we have come to know, a new universe is awaiting us out there, a new meaning to our existence, and there is truly no limit whatsoever to what we can make of it. That is the kind of absolute freedom I have dreamt of, nothing else will do. I am ready, are you?

Law of Attraction

Do you understand what gravity is all about? Magnetism for that matter? And magnetism is quite central to the law of attraction. You see, neither gravity nor magnetism have been explained, we just had to take for granted that a few equations worked, and when you look more carefully, you realise that these equations simply don't work, even though they are a close approximation we have reached through trial and errors.

Gravity has been explained by Newton as objects mysteriously attracting each other at a distance. By Einstein, gravity was explained as any mass pushing on a sheet of rubber or the fabric of spacetime, and whatever other object coming close simply falls toward the hole (or dimple) that the larger mass is making.

Now, in Expansion Theory, it may be that gravity is the result of the fact that everything in this universe is only composed of electrons, including the nucleus of atoms, and that they constantly grow in size at an alarming rate. This constant growing of the Earth is why we are stuck on the Earth, we are not attracted to it mysteriously, we are pushed by it as it expands. And someone in a free fall above the Earth is not falling at all, as I explained earlier on, the Earth grows that rapidly to reach out with that person at this fast rate of expansion.

Magnetism could all be about expanding electrons outside of the atomic realm on one side, against other electrons going back from free expansion into the atomic realm on the other. Or in the case of repulsion, two clouds of expanding electrons meeting together in free expansion outside of the atomic realm.

What can the law of attraction mean, in this context? In the context of an unfinished theory of everything we are still struggling to explain? I don't know. It is a mystery. And yet, Expansion Theory is the only theory to explain clearly what magnetism and gravity are all about. All other theories just present you with some puzzling facts. And so, for me magnetism and gravity are not what we thought they were. I mention it because this is why I cannot expand further on the implications of “a law of attraction”, in terms of magnetism and gravity. As I said, in actual physics, those very concepts are poorly understood. Many physicists openly say so.

Whenever you talk about quantum mechanics, you may be wrong, just like there may be no such thing as relativity, at least the way Einstein described it, and there could be no gravity as Newton and Einstein described it. In The Secret, they talk a lot about quantum mechanics, and it is obvious that none of them know what they are talking about. It makes you think. What is magnetism? What is attraction to begin with? I don’t know, do you? And I have read all of physics.

I'm sure the Source Energy is aware of the real laws of physics of this universe, and yet, look at how long it is taking us to find them out, to find the equations of the theory of everything. I guess no one in our universe is smart enough, I guess we wanted it this way, that we created a world filled with incompetent people, as if we didn't wish ourselves to know that much about the universe we apparently created, that its most basic laws still remain unidentified. And so, what can one make of any law of attraction? Perhaps the expression was badly chosen, I think so.

I am well aware that there are such coincidences as if I think of the number 11, I will see it many times in the next few hours. Or that if I think of a book called The Secret, suddenly a few events will happen in my life to remind me to investigate it. Coincidences or events I put into motion to guide me, who knows. Does it necessarily involve attraction and magnetism? Symbolically, yes, perhaps, but not necessarily.

Maybe I am willing to accept that there is only a present, and yet, you remember a past at this very present. When in a dream, it does happen that you are in a present moment, and yet, you also remember some sort of past from this present, even though within your dream you are well aware that you have not lived that past, that it simply came to you as an accomplished fact.

What I am saying is that it is quite possible that you wake up every morning with the memory of a different past from the previous morning. That you can change your past as easily as you can change your future, even though you would not remember the previous past events you had in your memory the day before.

I can’t see attraction or magnetism in any of that. Maybe there is much more that we may never understand, and we’re struggling to describe it all with the limited vocabulary we have at our disposal.

So, where’s my sports car?

I find it quite ironic that I am going to talk about that famous sports car you may wish for after watching The Secret, whilst wondering why it is not there, after trying for over a month to make it come true. Ironic because I have quite a sport’s car in my own backyard, the ultimate one, the only one I could wish for, for the history of it and how I came to appreciate that little Smart Car Roadster from 2004, the very one Mercedes is no longing making, the very car they never sold outside of Europe.

My partner used to work for Mercedes, and we had one as part of his employment. After they got rid of him in such an awful manner, all we had was my Renault 5, a 20 year old car. We could not afford a sports car again, that very car we liked. His mom came one day after my Renault 5 broke down too many times and said she could give us 5,000 pounds towards buying a new car. And we discovered that 6,000 was enough to get this all too new sports car that we loved so much back into our life.

Now I could lie to you, and tell you I wished for it and it happened. However, though I’m sure we were both wishing for it for quite a long time, none of this wishing was studied and applied in light of the secret or the law of attraction. If it had been, I would tell you right now, this would have been a miracle. We never dreamt of driving one of those again, and yes, I do look good in it.

I never dreamt of using the secret to obtain a new car, as I said before, as I am much more concerned with obtaining my absolute freedom, happiness and peacefulness than anything else. And on that level, though I am still far from the kind of freedom I am dreaming of, I have reached some sort of freedom, more happiness and peacefulness than I thought possible. And since I re-started working on changing my future, I can already witness leaps and bounds in my relationships with everyone in my life.

I even feel confident that I will soon reach my freedom, even if it comes in the form of a lot of money falling from the sky or unexpected outlets. I am truly confident because so many times before it has worked. And without this confidence, I dare say, there is no way my freedom would ever come.

I will tell you this though, if we truly can change the past as much as we can influence the future, just as I believe it to be true, I may very well have wished for that sports car sometime in the near future, and it makes no difference that it was delivered one week before I discovered Esther Hicks and Rhonda Byrne, less than a month ago. And I can think of one good reason for me to wish for that sports car and getting it delivered just before this whole thing started. If I wish my partner to be part of this life changing event with me, this time around, better get that sports car out of the way, because after watching The Secret, is it not obvious that it would have been the only thing he will have retained from it, and immediately started working towards getting, that car? He even said it himself tonight, virtually at the same time that I said it, at least we don’t have to wish for the car, it is already here. And so now we can move on with more important things.

So, where’s your sports car? Why has it not materialised instantly after watching The Secret? Excellent question. And even though I would have liked to tell you that I wished for one and never got one, and that I felt unlikely that I would get one even if I were to wish for one, unfortunately I just got one, and somehow it kinds of destroy what I would have liked to say upon the subject.

I would like to tell you that even if you started to wish for a sports car, for many reasons it would be unlikely that one would fall from the sky, and here is why… blah blah blah. However, and that may also be the reason why such a car fell from the sky in my case, I can no longer tell you that it is unlikely that you would get one.

I think that in all likelihood, if you truly believe that you will get one, you will. And it depends on how capable you are in convincing yourself that it is possible. And this is the complete opposite of what I was going to say (damn car!), and perhaps this is just as well I didn’t put into your head ideas that it would be unlikely for you that you would get one, because everything I am saying here is about the opposite anyway, that whatever you wish for, if you can convince yourself that it will happen, then it will definitely happen.

Nonetheless, there is still something I can say upon the subject. I believe The Secret has not helped itself by putting such emphasis on something so specific. A lot of the critics against The Secret pointed that very thing out, almost as a proof that it does not work and could not. Can you imagine? All of us wishing for sports car and all getting one at once? What would be the odds of that actually coming true? None.

First, The Secret is just an introduction, and it covers a lot of ground, a larger truth about this world, and in there they are barely scratching the surface. If you are a total newcomer to changing your future and trying this thing out, a fad that may very well pass quickly in your case, instead of applying yourself to the extent that I, for example, did, the chances that you will get that sports car are small.

I am honest enough to tell you that even though I have been at it for years, and that I have seen many miracles in my life, if I were to specifically wish for a Bentley in my backyard within the month, I’m pretty sure it would not materialise. Of course. perhaps I do not even believe in the first place that it would, and it might be a different story if I truly got on with it and made it happen somehow, and truly believed it.

You see, a sports car or a Bentley, this is something highly specific. And not only it is very specific and this so called law of attraction attracts things on the same wavelength, or of the same frequencies, more of the same, it is still more of the same, and not exactly something so specific.

And if you are just but a beginner, I would think that you would do better wishing for things that are not so specific, and also things which would not require from you quite a stretch of the imagination in order to actually believe that this car would materialise so quickly within your existence after so short a time experimenting with this.

Some of you will visualise this car, truly believe it will come, and it will come. No doubt about it, and if this is where you want to start, and the only thing that is truly important in your life right now, who am I to tell you to forget it and to try to be more general or vague in your wishes? All that, in order to actually witness something positive happening in your life that is truly unexpected, and yet, that you could say it is a miracle, and that it is definitely because you started to work with this that it became reality.

Remember that you first need to see that it works, you need it to convince yourself that you can truly make quite an impact upon this world. Once you have witnessed what we can call miracles in your life, then my God, nothing will stop you, because you will have all the confidence to believe that you can achieve anything you set yourself to.

And if you are new to this, I am telling you, you will achieve a much higher success rate by remaining vague and general in your desires. I wish for something great to happen today, or tomorrow. I want some sort of life changing event to happen soon, and all the elements are already in action to make it happen, that will change my life and make me happy. It can still be huge, you can still wish for life changing events, however none of them should be that specific when you start working on this.

Now you can forget what I said and wish for that sports car, and it may very well come soon to your backyard, however, it is less likely to happen if you never could even prove to yourself that you can have any sort of impact upon anything in this world. And that part about you needing to believe that it can happen, that it has already happen and will be there tomorrow when you wake up, is essential. And if you don’t even have that confidence, wishing for something so specific is perhaps stretching it. You might get a house instead, and wonder where you failed. You might not get anything at all, and wonder where you failed.

If you are general or vague in your wishing at first, many things will happen, you will however be convinced at first sight that you made it happen, it will be obvious. From there you will build your confidence, you will know it works, and you will happily create the experience and the life you wish for yourself. Even though it never is that easy, I am the first one to say so. But I know it works.

After all, I do have that sports car in my backyard, a sports car I don’t even remember asking for, though in retrospect I’m pretty sure I did ask for it. After all, I look so good in it. And now that I am such a master at playing this game, that I have reached the point of being able to wish for something so specific and actually get that very specific thing, I think I am going to work towards acquiring my own space ship capable of interstellar travel.

Though this is all true, I am being a bit ironic here. What are the odds at this very moment in time that I could acquire such a spaceship? Well, perhaps higher than you would ever imagine, because I could wake up tomorrow in that universe where these things are normal, where everyone has its own spaceship. But that would require quite a leap of imagination. I know you are not ready for that, like perhaps I am barely ready for that, and yet, if there are truly no limits to what you can wish for, to what you can create within your own universe, anything is possible.

So, do you still want that sports car? Better get to work on it then… and don’t give up too soon, without at least verifying that you can create anything you want with your life, before at least wishing for more general and less specific objects and events.

PART IV

Thought Vibration or the Law of Attraction in the Thought World of William Walker Atkinson

I just finished reading the short book Thought Vibration or the Law of Attraction in the Thought World of William Walker Atkinson written in 1906, it took me exactly three hours. I certainly have a few things to say. First, it is certain that Esther Hicks has read William Walker Atkinson, their respective books are way too similar. Atkinson wrote over 100 books under many different names.

Now, we do not have to jump to hasty conclusions, there is nothing wrong for Esther Hicks to have read a few books before writing hers, and drawing inspiration from them, even to such an extent. Also, considering the books Atkinson has written, it is possible that he too was channelling from the spirit world. He certainly wrote many books upon the subject. However he does not claim so in this book, and when you read it you will find that his style is very direct and casual, and more from the perspective of psychology and his New Thought movement than spiritual, though in the end he becomes quite New Age. There is also that Abraham is the author of Ask and It Is Given, and I would suppose that these higher beings have access to the Akashic library or records, which apparently contains all knowledge, including all human experience, of the history of the cosmos, so Atkinson’s books must be in there and Abraham might have read them. It is the last line of defence for Esther Hicks. It is also possible that Esther Hicks read books inspired by Atkinson’s books, there are many such books on the market.

I have to admit that after reading Thought Vibration, I got nothing out of it. It is possible that I don’t because I have written this actual book, and read Esther Hicks and others, and now it seems to be the same thing, but there is more. Esther Hicks really took everything and turned it into something much better, with more impact, like a deluxe version of Atkinson’s book. And so, though she must have drawn a lot of inspiration from Atkinson’s book or similar books, it does not exclude the possibility that Abraham were still there guiding her whilst she wrote her books. I will not here dismiss the claim just like that, I still give her the benefit of the doubt.

Overall I think Atkinson is easier to understand and to access, but it is insufficient, as his examples and exercises are mediocre at best, and after reading his book I doubt I would have gone on to put it all in practice. He gets to the point, and it is all there, however Esther Hicks repeats herself many times over, and she truly succeeds in drumming it into your mind and to motivate you further.

I understand now where all this being happy comes from, it is central to Atkinson as he read many psychology books and most of them are about that: change your mind, change your attitude, concentrate on what is positive, and suddenly positive things will happen. Psychology mostly deals with extreme cases of depression and sociopaths, and so a big turn around in your mind is necessary before you can start rebuilding your universe for the better.

It also explains why I missed it completely when I wrote my initial ideas, and that it was never required for me in order to affect my reality positively. So now I am even more convinced that this happy go lucky frame of mind, which is the bulk of all the books about changing or creating your future, is superfluous.

You can still achieve anything you want without having to alienate yourself and throw yourself into self-hypnosis mode about how great this existence is, when you know perfectly well that it isn’t, and that convincing yourself otherwise is useless. You don’t have to despair, the law of attraction works just fine without it. You can go on being angry, fearing life, hating everyone and showing the green eyed monster to everyone (jealousy). And then, at the end of such a nightmarish day, just take a few minutes to concentrate very hard on what you wish to change, and it will happen one way or another. It works great for me, it will work great for you.

This state of allowing of Esther Hicks, is kind of talked about in Atkinson’s book, but it is not so strongly proposed as a main prerequisite. Although, Atkinson is convinced that if you are not in the right frame of mind, you will certainly attract more of what this negative frame of mind is thinking about:

“These thought waves have other qualities differing from the waves on the water. They have the property of reproducing themselves; in this respect they resemble sound waves rather than waves upon the water. Just as a note of the violin will cause the thin glass to vibrate and "sing," so will a strong thought tend to awaken similar vibrations in minds attuned to receive it. Many of the "stray thoughts" which come to us are but reflections or answering vibrations to some strong thought sent out by another. But unless our minds are attuned to receive it, the thought will not likely affect us. If we are thinking high and great thoughts, our minds acquire a certain keynote corresponding to the character of the thoughts we have been thinking. And, this keynote once established, we will be apt to catch the vibrations of other minds keyed to the same thought. On the other hand, let us get into the habit of thinking thoughts of an opposite character, and we will soon be echoing the low order of thought emanating from the minds of the thousands thinking along the same lines.”

I don’t deny this, it is certainly true in general throughout our existence. All I say is that the law of attraction will work anyway whether you are blissful or halfway mad with anger. If you truly wish something and concentrate hard in order to make it happen, and for only a few minutes every day or every other day, concentrating on this wish will suffice for you to see results no matter your state of mind. So perhaps that by being inspired by “the source” (Atkinson) everyone lost sight of this important fact.

After reading all these books, I am pleased to confirm that I have not changed my mind. This whole business of changing your future can be kept as simple as you wish, as simple as possible, and ultimately it could be what will ensure your success.

Because you will be wasting time and energy trying to change your nature, changing your whole personality, your whole life, before you can actually achieve anything with this life. You will not either be complicating this process infinitely more than is necessary by turning it into a series of rituals and processes which will certainly confuse you and discourage you in the end.

I suggest that if you wish to have a more positive outlook on this world, then stick to psychology books and keep that away from this idea that thoughts create your experience and future. Not too far away, because of course if you always think negatively, negative events will definitely happen in your life, but there is no need to transform this into this 22 processes or lifetime training programme which you might eventually abandon.

Keep it in mind, and no matter what, no matter your frame of mind, just wish it, be convinced and it happens. Don’t think any further, don’t worry about your emotional state, don’t worry about being in a state of allowing. It happens no matter what. Otherwise, you would not be so successful, at living such a most miserable existence. It proves that you don’t need to be happy to influence your reality on a massive scale, and so, you don’t need to change who you are for this to work.

And yes, don’t forget that you can also change the past, even though you would not realise how successful you have been, because you will inherit a new set of memories fitting your new reality. If you are observant however, you will remember that things around you are different from the day before. In conclusion to this section, keep it simple, as simple as possible, to ensure your success in changing and creating your new realities. Don’t get sidetracked with psychology and spirituality or New Age matters.

With numerous books like The Art of Logical Thinking, New Psychology Its Message, Principles and Practice, The Psychology of Salesmanship, Your Mind and How to Use It: A Manual of Practical Psychology, it is clear that Atkinson is already deep into basic psychology, and therefore it was all natural that it be completely incorporated into his Law of Attraction. Moreover, at some point he suffered a complete physical and mental breakdown followed by financial disaster. There is no doubt psychology helped him a great deal, and from there he went on to read international literature on spirituality and occultism, and finally discovered a whole new world in front of him. In a way, he also benefitted greatly from the Law of Attraction by exploiting the very idea of selling it to others via his New Thought Movement and different magazines at the time.

Most of Thought Vibration is psychology based, and that is what I feel is less important. Only a few times, and especially a bit at the beginning and mostly at the end, does he actually present the Law of Attraction as something other than within the mind, and closer to spirituality doctrines. However he wrote many other books which cannot be mistaken with anything else but New Age, including Yogi philosophies and oriental occultism from the Orient, including India. He wrote many books under these aliases: Yogi Ramacharaka, Swami Bhakta Vishita, Swami Panchadasi, Theron Q. Dumont, Theodore Sheldon, to the point that others could have thought he was a fraud. Perhaps he adopted these pen names in order to give his work more credibility than the little chap born in Maryland, or if perhaps he was then channelling from the spirit world and therefore he thought he was not exactly the author of these books. Also, how could a Christian involved in Christian Mysticism publishes books from other religious school of thoughts from the Orient?

Certainly Esther Hicks would have found his books most interesting, with titles like: Can We Talk to Spirit Friends?, Higher Spirit Manifestations, How to Attain Knowledge of the Higher Worlds. He wrote so many books in these subjects, that I believe most of the psychology section comes from him, whilst the Law of Attraction itself might come from somewhere else, in all his studies of oriental mysticism. So it is not so obvious that the psychology part of the equation is actually necessary.

It is worth noting also that Atkinson does not understand how the Law of Attraction operates exactly, or what it is. Just like others and I, he admits that it just works. Just like Esther Hicks and others however, he established it as a law of nature, and that is it, just like we accept for example the law of gravity, as it just is.

I do not believe he is yet the source of the Law of Attraction. However I feel he must have been the first Westerner to bring it to light. And so, in the Western world, he must be the source of anyone else talking in terms of the Law of Attraction. As such, his definition of this law is key:

“The Law of Thought Attraction is one name for the law, or rather for one manifestation of it. Again I say, your thoughts are real things. They go forth from you in all directions, combining with thoughts of like kind - opposing thoughts of a different character – forming combinations going where they are attracted - flying away from thought centers opposing them. And your mind attracts the thought of others, which have been sent out by them conscious or unconsciously. But it attracts only those thoughts, which are in harmony with its own.

Like attracts like, and opposites repel opposites, in the world of thought. If you set your mind to the keynote of courage, confidence, strength and success, you attract to yourself thoughts of like nature; people of like nature; things that fit in the mental tune. Your prevailing thought or mood determines that which is to be drawn toward you - picks out your mental bedfellow. You are today setting into motion thought currents which will in time attract toward you thoughts, people and conditions in harmony with the predominant note of your thought. Your thought will mingle with that of others of like nature and mind, and you will be attracted toward each other, and will surely come together with a common purpose sooner or later, unless one or the other of you should change the current of his thoughts.”

Under the name of “Three Initiates”, Atkinson wrote a book called The Kybalion, which is also the basis of another of his books about the Rosicrucians, as can be read from this excerpt from Wikipedia:

“A series named The Arcane Teachings is also attributed to Atkinson. Perhaps significantly, the doctrine behind The Arcane Teachings is remarkably similar to the philosophy in The Kybalion (another title attributed to Atkinson), and significant portions of material from The Arcane Teachings were later re-worked, appearing nearly verbatim in The Secret Doctrines of the Rosicrucians by Magus Incognito (yet another Atkinson alias).”

I believe that The Secret Doctrines of the Rosicrucians was first published in 1918 by Atkinson’s publishing company Advanced Thought Publishing. I feel it might not be part of the canon of the Rosicrucian literature, and that though Atkinson must have gone through all their literature, and that he was an initiate of some sort, it is not clear if he was a Rosicrucian. At any rate, the Rosicrucian only came into being in 1909 with the book by Max Heindel The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception, and could not have inspired Thought Vibration published in 1906.

So the source of the Law of Attraction is perhaps not to be found in Max Heindel’s books, which have been channelled from the 13 Elder Brothers of the Rose Cross. It is however Christian esoteric, mysticism and occultism, all very dear subjects to William Walker Atkinson, and so it should not be surprising if both authors have shared similar viewpoints.

It is perhaps likely that the real source of this Law of Attraction is to be found in Hinduism, in Hermeticism or in the Theosophy of Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, who also studied in India and in Orient and was largely influenced by Hinduism. In which case, my investigation will go no further, since it would not serve the purpose of this present book.

There is however one more author to investigate, James Allen, a British author who wrote As a Man Thinketh published in 1902, and said to have inspired the New Thought Movement. So perhaps it will not be necessary to turn upside down the whole of Hinduism and Rosicrucian literature.

PART V

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

I feel I am getting closer to the source, and not only that, as surprising as it may sound, the source of the Law of Attraction might not be found in esoteric or occultist literature. Nevertheless, it may still have its foundation on Christianity, as James Allen is very much Christian, to the point that his title As a Man Thinketh is a quote from the Bible, and he talks about divine perfection and other concepts of the Bible. Here is an illuminating passage:

“Man is always the master, even in his weaker and most abandoned state; but in his weakness and degradation he is the foolish master who misgoverns his "household." When he begins to reflect upon his condition, and to search diligently for the Law upon which his being is established, he then becomes the wise master, directing his energies with intelligence, and fashioning his thoughts to fruitful issues. Such is the conscious master, and man can only thus become by discovering within himself the laws of thought; which discovery is totally a matter of application, self analysis, and experience.

Only by much searching and mining, are gold and diamonds obtained, and man can find every truth connected with his being, if he will dig deep into the mine of his soul; and that he is the maker of his character, the moulder of his life, and the builder of his destiny, he may unerringly prove, if he will watch, control, and alter his thoughts, tracing their effects upon himself, upon others, and upon his life and circumstances, linking cause and effect by patient practice and investigation, and utilizing his every experience, even to the most trivial, everyday occurrence, as a means of obtaining that knowledge of himself which is Understanding, Wisdom, Power. In this direction, as in no other, is the law absolute that "He that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened;" for only by patience, practice, and ceaseless importunity can a man enter the Door of the Temple of Knowledge.”

It certainly reflects the basis of Atkinson’s book. It also talks about cause and effect, which is to be found in Atkinson, probably an important concept before 1900. Allen might not however be the source, since he does mention in the foreword of his book that: “This little volume (the result of meditation and experience) is not intended as an exhaustive treatise on the much-written-upon subject of the power of thought”. And so I feel the source might be from anywhere before 1900. Wikipedia however seems certain that he is the source, and that William Walker Atkinson found his inspiration there:

“Although As a Man Thinketh does not contain the term "Law of Attraction" in so many words, it explains the principle clearly and its popularity demonstrably gave rise to a century of writings on the subject.”

“In America, Allen's assertion that "the soul attracts" both that which it desires and that which it fears struck a resonant chord in the New Thought Movement. Working from Allen's premise that one's thoughts attract "circumstances" that affect one's mental and physical situation in life, William Walker Atkinson (1862 - 1932) used the term 'Law of Attraction' to describe the phenomenon in his 1906 book Thought Vibration or the Law of Attraction in the Thought World.”

Allen’s quote at the end of the second paragraph of the citation above, comes from the New Testament:

“Luke 11:9 And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

10 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

I don’t need to remind you that Esther Hicks book’s title is Ask and It Is Given. Could be a coincidence though. James Allen book’s title derives from the ancient Jewish Book of Proverbs, chapter 23, verse 7: "As [a man] thinketh in his heart, so he is." From Wikipedia I also got this:

"Allen took this ambiguous idea of a correspondence between "a man's heart" and his existence to a logical extreme, stating that, "The soul attracts that which it secretly harbors, that which it loves, and also that which it fears. It reaches the height of its cherished aspirations. It falls to the level of its unchastened desires -- and circumstances are the means by which the soul receives its own."

This is Allen’s Laws of Thought. And Atkinson called his law the Law of Thought Attraction. So he went a bit further, but he must have found inspiration in Allen’s book.

I have to admit, returning to the source is really illuminating. Allen’s message is so simple and even poetic, it has been distorted beyond measure for more than 100 years. Look at the simplicity of this, where there is no spirituality, New Age and other occult philosophies, or much psychology:

“He who has conquered doubt and fear has conquered failure. His every, thought is allied with power, and all difficulties are bravely met and wisely overcome. His purposes are seasonably planted, and they bloom and bring forth fruit, which does not fall prematurely to the ground.

Thought allied fearlessly to purpose becomes creative force: he who knows this is ready to become something higher and stronger than a mere bundle of wavering thoughts and fluctuating sensations; he who does this has become the conscious and intelligent wielder of his mental powers.

All that a man achieves and all that he fails to achieve is the direct result of his own thoughts.”

“He who has conquered weakness, and has put away all selfish thoughts, belongs neither to oppressor nor oppressed. He is free.

A man can only rise, conquer, and achieve by lifting up his thoughts. He can only remain weak, and abject, and miserable by refusing to lift up his thoughts.”

It all started with the idea that it was useless to blame circumstances, if you think of yourself as a failure, then you are, and if you think and feel happy and sunny like a sunshine, you are free and cannot fail to reflect both this inner and outer beauty even in your old age. These most basic little wisdoms and truths have been transformed in time into the most complicated thing to achieve through hard core psychology and transfiguration into Jesus-Christ’s qualities, something few of us could ever even dream of. When all along there was nothing more to it than just think positive and your life will be brighter and positive things will happen to you, perhaps just because you will see the world in a different light, and consequently will act differently as if you thought you were in hell. Allen says:

The Vision that you glorify in your mind, the Ideal that you enthrone in your heart--this you will build your life by, this you will become.

However, it is through hard work that this will be achieved, I’m afraid, it will not fall from the sky just by thinking hard. So at the origin, Allen’s message, which we may safely say is the source of the Law of Attraction, was to be taken lightly, as some sort of natural law that has nothing magical about it or supernatural. It was a simple fact of life, find your goals, believe you can succeed, work very hard, and in time see your vision being created in front of you.

It is not very satisfying, I have to say. It is even depressing, no matter how poetic his short book is. It does not reflect either my own experience. No hard work is necessary, it does fall from the sky as in a miracle. It is not surprising therefore that in search for an answer we went completely wild in our re-interpretations of what James Allen barely stated. And now, dear God, there is no limit, if you can think it, it can immediately materialise in front of view just as if you had a replicator like in Star Trek, just like if you were to programme the holodeck to re-adjust your existence to your own parameters and likings. This is where we are now. That sports car has materialised overnight in my backyard at the very minute I thought it. Let’s all continue on our colossal thinking process, creating ad infinitum, until we are all declared utterly insane!

This is where I am now, and this is where all this is leading. Are you ready to follow me to such an extreme? Once you are insane, it is very easy to believe that you are perfectly healthy, and that it is the rest of humanity which is insane. What I mean to say is, no matter how insane you appear to be, you may still very well be sane. If it works, and it does work, well, better appear to be insane then, and create instantly the existence we want. And it is instant, much more than you could believe it is, that you can remember it is. As simple and instant as if you were changing a few parameters in a computer software and were to run the programme immediately after.

PART VI

Jane Roberts and the Seth Material

Of everything I have read so far in my quest to find the source of this law of attraction, Jane Roberts is perhaps the most complex and the most illuminating. In fact, there is perhaps nothing Esther Hicks states that is not actually already stated in Jane Roberts books. Attraction is mentioned a few times in the few books I have of Roberts, but not law of attraction per se. So perhaps Hicks read both Roberts and Atkinson.

Or perhaps Seth is also part of Abraham, and so they do state the same thing. However Abraham is stuck on one thing only, this law of attraction and emotional states, whilst Seth has covered just about everything this life has to offer, including that your cells in your body are alive and conscious and creating constantly just like you do. In fact, it seems that every single atom composing you is alive and creating at will, in their own way (perhaps even more successfully than we are). We’re getting closer to the Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception by Max Heindel, which will be covered in the next part.

The problem with Roberts is that it goes on forever, and one lifetime might be insufficient to read all that she says she has channelled from this entity in the spirit world called Seth. I will limit myself to Excerpts from the Seth Books, An Anthology, and Dreams, Evolution and Value Fulfilment, which I have here. It is already a thousand pages altogether. I hope it will be sufficient for the purpose of this book. In retrospect, I don’t think I will have the time to study Jane Roberts further for the purpose of this book. But I invite you to do so.

I feel however that in time I may read it all. As if anyone seemed to have channelled books from beyond, I believe Jane Roberts certainly did. There is no way she could have come up with all this on her own, it is just not possible, or is it? I cannot see how anyone could. Or else, I need to read books about mental cases and see how elaborate their illusionary universes can be, on a scale of 1 to 10, Jane Roberts easily reaches 100.

(Part VII has been moved to the end of the book until I find the time to edit it.)

PART VIII

My own conclusions

New age spiritualist matters,

does it really work for you?

The problem often when you read that kind of books, the likes of Esther Hicks and Rhonda Byrne, is that it never seems to work for you. For example, I was in communication with a man telling me I could slow time down, and when I would succeed doing that, all sorts of weird things would happen, like communication with dead people or with others through time capable also to change the rate at which time goes. Where do you start to stop time?

He was saying that you needed to be able to vibrate at a different frequency. Then again, how do you vibrate at a different frequency? And this is how I terminated a long time ago my readings on such subjects. Either these people somehow were not perfectly honest, or else their world was simply unreachable to me no matter what I could have done to understand and experience their teachings.

You see, you really need to experience it yourself to finally understand. And the problem is that it seems that no teacher on this earth can tell you how to proceed, no matter how they try. Just like Esther Hicks mentions in one of her videos, a teacher knows at which stage his or her student is. It would not surprise me that somehow none of us are ready, moreover, and what she perhaps does not say but could say, is that virtually none of us will ever be ready or capable of such things.

I would think that if I had stick with Rosicrucian teachings over many decades, I might have finally reached the point of accepting that what they said was actually true, and I could have verified it myself. My uncles were into all that, they told me extraordinary things that they were capable of, though I have forgotten most of it now. I do remember communication with the dead, with angels, out of body experience, never truly sleeping but remaining awake in your sleep, telepathy with your teacher who visits you in your sleep, etc.

Most of them have moved on from Rosicrucian philosophy to other sects or secret societies, and ultimately either I didn't have the patience then, or today I feel joining any such group is too dangerous. Corruption is everywhere, they certainly may have an impressive knowledge, but it can too easily be used to acquire power and wealth, it can reach exploitation. This is not a judgement on the Rosicrucian per se, but an overall fear I have for any sects or secret society. By all means, read their books like you can read the Bible even if you don’t believe in God, however do not join any of these groups. We are all about freedom, and freedom starts with no belonging to any group whatsoever, be it religious or otherwise. You can still believe in God though, just in a more free manner.

Now we get these popular best sellers, which bypass just about all the necessary steps for you to achieve anything remotely resembling whatever you could truly achieved, and though sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn't, and you quickly tire of trying, and soon abandon all your new years resolution.

It does not really matter, because whether or not you could succeed very well at changing your future, you would still fundamentally be the same person, and your state of mind, considering happiness and depression, would probably still be the same. Overall, I doubt you could so radically change your life and yourself in the process, that ultimately it should warrant abandoning everything that you are truly about.

In fact, I would say that if you had gone through the whole Rosicrucian teachings over many decades, and reach the point where you are now ready, you would then be such a different person, you would not even think of using any so-called power to advance your career and yourself. You would not wish yourself wealth. You would probably instead only think of one thing: peacefulness, happiness, love, and helping others.

Helping others here means giving up everything you have to go and help people in need of the most basic things: food, shelter, clothing. You would need to be like Mother Teresa, or at the very least, at a lower extreme, thinking as such and acting consequently in your day to day life. Then you wonder, is it what I want and what I need? Well, without all the wellbeing inner self, and peacefulness about myself, why don't I actually concretely today change my life in order to bring me what I want?

If I try again this “changing my future” experiences, what I will wish for this time will not be another great contract in the film or television industry, it will not be more money that I would not know what to do with it. At the point I am now, after having successfully changed my life radically overnight, and moved to Los Angeles and all, I came back to my old life in London, I even abandoned the high salary I could get in Central London in the world of conferences as Management Consultant. I have even put on hold my dreams of creating my huge conference company making millions. I am now a simple British civil servant working two minutes away from where I live, paid less than a garbage collector, so this gives me plenty of time and energy to write.

Ultimately the law of attraction/changing my future philosophy still worked, because this is what I wanted: peace, no more stress, more time. If I start again to wish, I will wish for absolute freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want, this includes as much time as I need to read and write, and perhaps travel.

I guess this adventure helped me a great deal, to re-assess what I really wanted in life. And still today I am not making the concrete decisions I could be making for it to become even truer, I still hope it will fall from the sky, just like most wishful thinking. I could leave my partner, move to Cornwall, find some low paid job that pays next to nothing but that is entirely free from stress and even from any kind of work, giving me the chance to read and write. Security guard at night perhaps, something like that. But I am not.

What The Secret and the Law of Attraction are all about, is exactly what I have written myself from my own experience, and that I found out years before. You could have got there on your own one day, and it might have been better that way. Esther Hicks’ book: Ask and It Is given. My way of saying it in my report is: The best way to.

I have not finished reading the book of Esther Hicks yet, neither The Secret, I will soon. Years before, I was going to write a whole self-help book about my discovery, however I found that I'm not even certain how I managed to write 30 pages in the first place. After stating the title Changing your future: just wish it, be convinced and it happens, I felt I had said it all.

And now that I have found out about others stating the same thing, that there is that book and film called The Secret out there about the same subject, and that a man in 1906 has already said it all, William Walker Atkinson, and that Esther Hicks, and probably a whole army of other new age writers and other gurus are stating the same thing even in books about how to get rich, there is definitely no point.

I have written my report and left it there just to help others. To help them see that this great knowledge, that secret, can be resumed to one line, and there is no need to go any further and be exploited by anyone else out there who know of that sentence, who know it works wonder, and will exploit you till your last penny.

Writing my report, this is when I realised that it was used and exploited in many different ways, that even religion was using “this secret” to its advantage. Everyone has its own vocabulary to describe all that goes around that sentence, and none of it, to be honest, is actually necessary.

People can talk about switching timelines in science fiction, put a curse on someone in voodoo, praying to god in religion, communicating with the spirit world with psychic mediums, etc. And for each different areas, there are a lot of things one must do, which can only complicate matters further, and probably also lessen your chances for anything to happen.

You don't need to calm yourself, to be at peace with your inner being, to meditate, or anything else you feel you might need to do in order to make your wish come true. You just need to wish it, believe it will happen or has already happened, and there you are, it happens, it is there. The most ridiculous thought, the most extravagant dream, I’ve done it, I know it works. And if it does not work for you yet, simply, you didn’t believe it could.

I found interesting that in The Secret, they brought something to the discussion I had not thought of, and so, ultimately it must not be that important. They bring this idea of thought being the creative motor to your life. I guess this is also what I was saying, that by thought alone you can change your life, and even, the world. I had not stop to say that you could visualise it in your mind, and that it would attract the same. I did not need the law of attraction in order to explain the phenomenon. This is again just a language, like it could be a religious one, in order to attempt to give an explanation about what is going on, as to how we could explain that just by simply wishing something, it happens.

You see, I would never have visualised in my mind getting a contract for a film, or being offered a job in Los Angeles. I simply wished for something highly positive to happen in my life, perhaps even something so extreme I may have to leave England, as I grew tired of it then. It worked beyond hope, but in this case, if there is a law of attraction, I certainly did not attract these specific events. I remained highly general, vague, in order to maximise results, since then, anything could happen. So I'm not sure about a law of attraction, or vibration of our mental powers. I have not tried to explain the phenomenon, because I would have no way to justify or verify it. I have instead taken it for granted that it works. I may speculate here and there, but it is what it will remain, speculation.

You cannot change who you truly are

Don’t make the mistake to think that this will change everything in your life, I may seem disillusioned with all of this, you will be too eventually, no matter how successful you are at it.

You never change your nature, whatever that nature is. Better find a way to accommodate yourself with whatever you have to offer this life, with whatever this life has to offer you. You will never find that quick fix, no self-help book will ever help you. Surely you know that by now. This should be the last book on the subject you should ever read. You can even bin it right now. I don’t mind.

Only in the details will you find some sort of happiness. No other self-help book will ever tell you the truth as it is. Well then, here you go, here is the truth. Does this feel refreshing? Liberating? I think so. I have finally admitted something tangible to myself, perhaps it is time you do the same.

I have attempted today at work to feel a feeling of wellbeing, I think I have succeeded for about an hour. After that I encountered so many problems in the office, I was about ready to shoot someone, but of course I kept it all inside, which is even worse.

I have also attempted to keep in mind my goals, after reading many pages on my Pocket PC of both The Secret and Ask and It Is Given. My motto was: I want absolute freedom and happiness via my wellbeing. I kept repeating that to myself all day, and I will again tomorrow. Let's see where it will lead. It has actually given me some confidence. I kept repeating to myself that my Line Manager, I created her, I control her like a pawn, I made her possible, I put myself in that situation, a virtual world I created for whatever reason.

In my case, you have to understand, that the negative in my life is actually welcome, and I feel I planned it this way, or else, I would have nothing to write about, I would have nothing to learn and I would not grow as a human being. So I can never regret anything, no experience no matter how horrible it is, as long as I get a book out of it, and learned hundreds of things about humanity. This is how far gone I am on this circuit of changing my future, or creating my existence, the world I evolve in.

I have been very much alone in my bubble universe until I found those books which clearly state what I came to understand myself from my own little experience. And so it must be true, there is no denying it, how else could I explain that I always got what I wanted and have the great feeling that I planned my whole life exactly as I wanted it?

For a very long time now, my life has gone hand in hand with the books I have always written and planned to write. I could tell you amazing things, like how when I was writing one of my novels, the story had to move to London, back to my home town in Québec and in New York, then back to London. I was living in Paris then, doing my Masters Degree, there was no way any of this could happen, but it did almost by magic. And instead of having to invent stuff, I was there, I described exactly what was happening in my life, barely modifying it for the fictional novel. Even then I knew I was in control of my destiny.

Then again, vibration, energy, frequencies, signals, this is the language of physics, however in a new age context, and as such it becomes a new age spiritualist vocabulary. And the way I reached the same conclusion did not require any of that vocabulary.

With Esther Hicks, you first need to believe in God, though she does play it down considerably. Then you need to believe in a world of supreme beings which we all are, then some other supernatural realm of existence which does not require the physical. In fact, a lot of what Esther Hicks talks about also exists in the Rosicrucian philosophy. Perhaps this is some sort of universal truth that eventually we will all come to see and accept openly. Who truly knows?

I find it hard to accept any of it, for the simple reason that I mostly go on with my own experience, and will only willingly believe what I have experienced myself. I never had any kind of hint that I may have a guardian angel, that perhaps I am connected to a Source Energy, or that vibration and frequencies had anything to do with changing my future. Maybe they do, I just don’t know. Seems perhaps logical, the analogy is certainly perfect, and yet, I will never be able to prove it, or even feel like it might be the truth.

I can still read Esther Hicks and appreciate most of what she teaches us, because I am open minded, also that I can easily switch the vocabulary the author uses to anything else which is equivalent in science. Could be a religious vocabulary that is used, and it is still okay with me, because then God and his master plan becomes for me destiny and its physical laws. You see?

However, at one point one might have to espouse it all, and accept it all as is. Start believing in this grand scheme of hierarchy of beings in some ethereal world, I'm not sure if I am ready for that. I read many books, I take what I feel sounds right, and I leave what I feel is either wrong, or that I am not ready to accept because of my limited experience.

This said, you can see that Rhonda Byrne has chosen to keep most of Esther Hicks main ideas, leaving behind all which sounded new age or godlike. As a result, she assembled a bunch of financial gurus, doctors, authors and physicists who mostly speak in terms of laws, almost the laws of physics. Let me say it clearly here, the Law of Attraction as they explain it is not part of any physics I know, it might never be. The Law of Attraction is more suited to philosophy.

It is certainly reminiscent of the Ying and Yang, the opposites attract each other in some sort of harmonious unity, this is not new. The Law of Attraction might be attracting more of the same of what you think, but Esther Hicks says it clearly, the contrast of the opposites is highly important in order to identify your desires.

After seeing Esther Hicks suffering because of whatever happened from her experience with The Secret, she is no master of this existence or of her emotions, she is just like us. And even then, I would not have cared about Rhonda Byrne and The Secret. At that point I would have given up my rights, and I don't think I would have lost anything in return, I would only have gained something.

No matter how masterful people bringing you that knowledge appear to be, never forget, we are all struggling to understand this and to get somewhere with it. None of us could truly be an expert on the topic. At least, the student could certainly surpass the master quite easily.

When I finished reading the book by Max Heindel when I was just a teenager, The Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception, I remembered thinking that this book must have contained 2000 years if not more of all sorts of wisdom. That it was all contain there in this 1000 pages book. I wonder if I would still think the same today if I were to read it again. All I know is that it is wilder than whatever Esther Hicks could ever say, it is off the scale on how crazy it is. You cannot but wonder why would someone invent so much stuff and for what reason. How much truth is there in this book? However, I understand know that a lot of it comes from the mystical teachings of Christianity. Was Max Heindel also channelling from some immaterial consciousness, like Hicks? I think so, I believe it was presented to us as such, the Elder Brothers I think, which were not of this world. So if truly this is possible, it would make sense that much of what Esther Hicks states must be a universal knowledge also known to the Elder Brothers, and hence the similarities. However, Abraham seems to keep it much simpler. He would quickly lose us all otherwise.

Intrinsically, this is all the same thing, we are all talking about the same phenomenon, that you are constructing, creating your own existence by thought alone, and I am even adding that only you exist in your own little virtual universe, and this is why you have ultimate powers to modify its configuration to infinity, there is no limit.

I could be a Managing Director within the week, however I do not wish to be a Managing Director. I wish to be a worm. It serves my purpose, then I can read, I can think, I can write, nothing else matters to me, not even love. Only freedom bothers me, and happiness, both of which are highly missing in my life, but I will change that soon.

If I was a master guru, I would say you are right, nothing could hurt me. As I am not, yes, I can be stupid enough to let others hurt me, and I cannot think of a time when it will no longer be the case. Now I can only avoid being hurt from experience. You cannot get burnt twice from the same source, can you? Perhaps, but in time we learn. And then get burnt from another source instead. I guess this is learning, acquiring experience, moving on upon the line experience of our existence, the very reason we are here.

I wish I could believe you when you are telling me your life experience, and how great you have it. And I hope that deep down you believe it yourself. But who are we kidding? Have you changed from the little you to a little better you? Or have you gone from little you to Gandhi, or even a shadow of Gandhi? We can change a little, change our perspective in life a little, but nothing more. And we have to make do with our own limitations.

I have not changed at all throughout my life, I am honest enough to admit it. I do not suffer anyone for very long, I never did. And I find it ironic that whilst you are stating that you are not being influenced by others, your own vocabulary is impregnated with just about everything you read and hear. And yet, the words they use are but one way of describing the very phenomenon that interests us here. You have espoused it completely, unlike me who reads it with some distance, and take and leave what I feel like. I just don't want you to be a victim.

What does it mean to be your true self? Who is your true self? How would you know? Your true self is when you go mad whenever someone does something horribly wrong to you and you go out of your mind. No one can deny it, you go to court, it may be temporary insanity, and yet, it is still your true self. Of course this is an extreme example, not worth considering. In general I suppose I understand that you are more like the person you wishes to be, than the horrible person no one wants to see as soon as things go wrong. As to being influenced by others, how could you not?

Someone would need to be very weak minded indeed to be influenced by anyone these days. Of course, so many seem weak minded, but it does not matter, does it, since only yourself exists in your own frame of reference, in your own universe. You have after all constructed this reality, and as Esther says, no one can influence anything for you in this world. You are in complete control, and I agree.

So, even when you felt you were influenced, you were not really, right? You were still listening to yourself, trying to convince yourself of whatever those people were trying to convince you of. Only you exist in this world, and what I am writing to you right now, you are writing it to yourself. And for once it is the truth. It has come to be into your life as a consequence of some of your thoughts, your creation. It came to be as a consequence, even if you never had to write it yourself. And from my point of view, from my own frame of reference, I am writing it to some other pawn within my game play, in order to help me understand everything I am all about.

I look forward to read how Esther Hicks justifies the fact that only ourselves can influence the world we live in, when it comes to the billion others who seem to actually influence our world on such a massive scale. And yet, this is not possible, we control them all, this is the only way we can change the configuration of the universe at will. We are very much alone in the world, just like if we were living on a holodeck in Star Trek and reorganising our little world as we go along.

Thought becoming reality

If there is truly no difference between our thinking and our reality, then if I believe in aliens, does it become reality? If I start suddenly to believe in God, does God starts to exist at that very moment? Do I create God on one drunken night?

I guess it needs to be put back into context. Yes, I can create whatever I want out of this world. If I want us to be halfway across the galaxy right now, instead of struggling to even reach Mars, we would be halfway across the galaxy. Which brings the question, why are we not halfway across the galaxy by now? Am I too weak a mind? Have I failed in creating the world I would truly be happy with? Can I create that world eventually, where I would be halfway across the galaxy and even further, outside the galaxy? Let's hope so. I guess this is my next step after reaching my absolute freedom and happiness via ultimate wellbeing. Can I achieve all that before the month is over? Let's hope so. I will certainly work hard in order to create the universe I feel I would be happy to live in.

If I can feel a great sentiment of wellbeing, I can apparently access everything. This is one way of seeing it. I have had no need to be joyful or vibrate at the right frequency in order to achieve a high success rate in changing my future. I would say I have actually achieved a very high success rate, considering how so radically I changed my life. And so there are many ways to get from A to B, to interpret this phenomenon. To be joyful, get an inner wellbeing thingy, is all new to me.

I am willing to try it, as it may very well help, but at this time I am not certain. For me, and neither for my correspondent with whom we were discussing and experimenting switching timelines, that kind of thing was necessary. For him, it was all about Hex, black magic, curses, rituals, etc. For me it was just to wish it, convincing myself and seeing it happen.

There are many roads leading to Rome. You might want to try a shortcut. Being joyful and feeling a great sensation of wellbeing inside, or be at peace with your inner self, all that seems highly difficult to me, and unnecessary to achieve your ultimate goals of radically changing your life for the better. Of course, if you somehow convinced yourself that you can feel great, and as a consequence feel great, then you are halfway there, are you not?

Nevertheless, do not complicate your existence for no good reason, you can change everything overnight without anything else but just wishing it and convincing yourself that things have changed, that the world has changed. You don't even need relaxation or meditation or become a better person and feel elated in any way.

I usually however think very hard, I feel powerful when I think of what I want to change, I can almost get in some sort of trance, even though it cannot be that serious a trance, I used to do this whilst driving on my way to work on the other side of London.

Well, great if you also work towards these goals of being a better person in life, I certainly try that myself without any kind of success whatsoever. None of it is necessary, even if the people you are listening to and that you are reading felt that it was one good way to reach your ultimate goals. I'm sure it might help, however none of it is necessary.

You are who you are, and it doesn't matter anyway from the point of view of anyone if you are good or bad or in peace with yourself or a total mess. You still are who you are, you are still connected to this source, or, at the very least, the laws of nature. The laws of physics must still apply in any case, if these are laws of physics, and somehow at some point, they must be.

You can change your life overnight without any kind of preparation, psychological or other, you are already ready. Thoughts do become reality, or some similar reality which would make you feel the same, and that is all.

Discipline and being tested

Yesterday I reached for the panic button, it was the first time in the last two weeks, since I re-started trying to influence my future, that I reached for the panic button, lose my cool, becoming angry, showing it, moaning and complaining, etc. I failed miserably.

I don’t know if there is a provision within the law of attraction or whatever other mechanics of the existence which provides for testing you in uncanny ways, nonetheless at times you will definitely feel like you are being tested. This is when you finally find out how successful you truly are at this. I was so discouraged, that at the end of the day, in bed, I thought: that’s it, I’m giving up all this, I will live my life instead of trying to create one which appears unreachable.

Also that for the first time I truly understood how draining this constant controlling of your thoughts can become, that every day most of the time I am there trying to wish up some great events and the likes, also trying to make sure that all my thoughts are positive, that I feel great and happy and all, and free, and in the end it is so exhausting, you wonder if it is truly worth it.

I long for the days where I simply followed my own method, just spending a few minutes a day thinking hard about what I wanted to happen, and concentrating on the idea that it will definitely happen, and then move on with the rest of my day without having to worry about feeling a great sense of wellbeing and all.

Whilst my own method does not require any kind of discipline, I found that what Esther Hicks is demanding from us is a totally new way of life, an impossible one at that, I am certain most of her students fail like I did on a daily basis and eventually might get to the point of abandoning the pursuit of their efforts.

As I thought initially when I discovered that secret myself, if you cannot keep it as simple as possible, not only it will not work, but on top of it, you will get discouraged and you will move on to something else. I have learnt that like in all things, you have to take on these methods with some moderation, and not become obsessed with them, or else you will not be able to sustain it for that long.

So far, none of what I wished using Esther Hicks’ method worked. The only difference has been that I have been more peaceful at work, and people were more peaceful as a result. But that is the outcome of my own change of attitude, nothing to do with changing my future in some magical way.

I will continue to try Hicks’ method, but so far it is not leading me anywhere. Perhaps I have not paid enough attention to her 22 proven ways to make this work. Maybe I need to use a mix of her method and mine, after all I have not concentrated that hard about trying to make my ideas become reality recently. And I have to, this is where I failed.

It is insufficient to simply think and hope in a place of wellbeing, you have to think hard, to concentrate very hard, to create, and be convinced that you are creating something, that you are making it happen. If is a signal coming out of you, then this signal almost needs to be forcefully emitted out of you, you need to feel the power coming out of you as if you were broadcasting to the whole universe. It almost needs hanger, the dark side, however perhaps it is more like a real determination that something will definitely happen as a consequence if your little exercise in changing your future.

Outcomes of your wishes,

be specific or remain vague?

I had a higher success rate at remaining vague in my wishes, because then anything that there would be no way for you to know that could happen, can happen. However I wonder now if it is the way to go. There is also the problem that even if you are very specific in what you want, the law of attraction sometimes can only provide for something which is apparently a match to what you were thinking, bringing you perhaps the same emotions and happiness, however it is not what you were wishing for initially. One way or another, there seems to be consequences to your wishes becoming true, which you might not have anticipated.

For example, last week, tired to see the fish tank constantly draining itself on the carpet of the living room, I wished for a way to sell that tank and solving many problems at once. It was a quick wish, I didn’t spend much time on it, I was even kind of joking, I knew my partner would not want to get rid of the tank, we already had that discussion before. Two days ago both filters stopped working during the night, all the fish died except one who is not very strong right now, and he died two days later. Oops! What have I done?

As a result, there is no question now, we will sell the aquarium. But to what disastrous effect, that all the fish had to die for this to happen! It was disheartening, I could not admit to my partner that somehow it could have been my fault.

This is when I feel that Esther Hicks’ method of already being peaceful and happy could actually bring results without dire consequences which might make it worse in the end. I guess mine was a selfish wish to begin with, and I never thought of how it could become reality. I was feeling peaceful at the time, maybe I was not peaceful enough? This has now become so complicated.

Then, my main wish was to gain some freedom, so I could read and write, get rid of that 9 to 5 job, sell the flat, move to some remote area and finally be able to do whatever I want whenever I want. I was quite specific in this case, money falling from the sky, moving to Cornwall or Wales, etc.

I received a phone call two days ago, my friend is inviting us to move to Morocco or Corsica, to lead this freedom I was actually dreaming of. I told her that it was impossible. I had already got myself into so much trouble and bureaucracy just to immigrate to the United Kingdom, and I still have to request my citizenship after 14 years, something I dread doing and I pushed it back again and again. And though I now have the rights to be here, and I had it at the beginning, it was really complicated. How could I then move to Africa or Spain? At the very least for Spain I need to request my British citizenship, something that will take a year and cost me a fortune that I don’t have. And then, how would we survive once we are there? We are not retired like her, we don’t have money coming in every month unless we work. None of us can work in Africa, and for Corsica, I can’t work there. She mentioned something like we would discuss it next week when we meet, that we could perhaps come to some sort of arrangement.

Well, this frightened me off. I want my freedom, but I don’t want this freedom to become a nightmare, I have no wish to move to Africa or Corsica, I certainly do not want my friend to pay for me and move with her to some strange country. This is not how I envisioned this whole freedom concept. When you are dependent on others, there is always a high price to pay.

There is no denying that I called for this, it answered exactly what I had been thinking about for over two weeks, and it came very quickly and suddenly. However, it is not what I anticipated. And so I have learnt that whatever life brings you when you start to wish for a different future, you still need to assess all the consequences involved, and if this is truly what you want. You also need to be ready to say no when these opportunities show up on your doorstep, and continue to call for whatever you wish for until what you had in mind comes along.

This can be highly difficult to decide, because after wishing so desperately for something, and suddenly it seems that all your prayers have been answered and all your birthdays have come at once, you still need to be able to assess what is really happening, and if this is what you wanted in the first place. And if not, other opportunities will come, you have to believe it, since you are creating your own future.

You may not be very good at it, and then the most impossible situations will present themselves, but you have to say no and continue to wish for what you truly want. And yes, unfortunately this requires a lot of discipline, even though I am convinced that it should not require that much discipline. It certainly should not start to alienate you, like it did for me recently.

There is a reason for everything that happens

Perhaps, as Esther Hicks mentions, after you have made your wishes, the universe or that Source Energy takes over and somehow make it happen. There is though that famous last step, which is receiving or allowing these creations of yours to come into your life.

Hicks mentions most of the time this is there that we fail, because we are not peaceful enough, feeling this sense of wellbeing, meaning that emotionally we are perhaps a mess and far from being in harmony with the universe and our desires.

Initially I thought, oh well, this is simple, as long as I feel great and harmonious, it will come. Now I’m not so sure. First, I am anything but happy, I am stressed and distressed most of the time. No matter how much I could try to change, I have the feeling that it will not happen anytime soon. I do believe that you must have been feeling the same, if you have tried Esther Hicks’ method. So what do we do? Do we abandon this materialisation of our desires and dreams, or do we continue to try and try until it works? And perhaps even accept that we will never be very good at this.

So, to be emotionally at peace requires a miracle. And even if you reach a certain degree of success at this wellbeing thing, it might still not work, you might wait a long time before anything changes in your life.

I mention this because it is not clear how this art of allowing really works, if maybe there is more you could do to invite the circumstances and help expedite your way to freedom.

If we are all creating this reality together, then it is fair to assume that this Source Energy will not be able to grant you everything you want. Not because of a lack of resources, I believe that to be infinite, but probably because whatever you want needs to fit in with everything else everyone wants.

For example, a car maker produces one special car only, an extremely limited offer, there is no other car in the world that is the equivalent. It has always been your dream to get it, but it was also the dream of another who bought it before you. Now the universe had to make a choice somehow, the car went to the most likely person, because circumstances permitted it in a simpler way.

Now, the universe is aware that you wanted that specific car. Since it brings more of the same, you might suddenly inherit a top model, also unique, but not exactly what you wanted. It was not possible because there was only one car. I suppose the universe could arrange for more of that initial car to be produced, but then it would lose its uniqueness and you might no longer want it.

Esther Hicks is adamant that there are enough resources for everyone, whatever we wish for. You do not take from another when you get something. I agree with this assessment, because with my computer in my little application, I can make as many cars appear anywhere on the screen whenever I want, and it costs nothing. I’m sure there is no limit to creation and creativity, and if all that is required is energy and matter and thinking, well, these supplies are almost infinite in this universe.

But you still not get that specific car, circumstances are just not on your side in this particular case. And that is why I feel you also need to help circumstances a bit in order to position to receive, to allow what you want to come to you. Help yourself and you will be help.

If I were to move alone on the top of a mountain, in a box, no communications, nothing, and spent a decade there, assuming I would have enough food and water, there is not much that could happen to me, no matter how hard I could try to bring to me certain events or any objects. A house will not materialise in thin air from nothing, especially if I don’t plan for it, request for it to be built, especially if I don’t get out of my lonely box for so long.

I have always been a firm believer in this idea that there is always a reason for anything that happens in your life, whatever how positive or negative it is. And that if we wish to help destiny or this Source Energy to bring into our life something concrete that we wished for, it will still need to happen somehow, and if you are not in position to receive, then how could you?

The universe still needs to make it happen, and it may require that many changes around you will need to take place before it can materialise. For example, you wish to meet the man of your dreams, however, you are a home maker and you never go further away than your flat or the corner shop. Your habits are so strongly established, you barely deviate at all. It will be difficult indeed to help you meet the man of your dreams in those conditions. Draconian events will be required to get you out of your flat, unless of course the man of your dreams is postman, which is very unlikely.

So, any small event in your life seems to be leading somewhere. I was thinking about it this morning, because I have been so angry at work for the last two days, I bite the head of my Line Manager when she told me I was incompetent and unable to manage my time properly. When I simply have way too much work to do which is simply impossible to clear. Understanding that, on one hand, I work very hard, and that on the other hand, they are blind to it and do not appreciate it, I came home with two thoughts. One that I failed miserably in remaining peaceful and happy, two, I was going to find a new job and would be spending the rest of the afternoon applying for new positions.

Have I failed though? I wonder. Another thought crossed my mind when I left the office, something weird, even funny. It is that I actually do work very hard, and everyone recognises that. I am doing the job of two employees, everyone knows that. So they are not blind to my aptitudes, I have to believe that they are more intelligent than that. They are planning something else, or she simply does not like me since we always had a clash of personality, the reason is not important. What is interesting is that it was the only thing that could anger me enough, this injustice, to push me to take the afternoon off and look for another job.

It was almost as if the initial situation never really existed. I work hard, they know it, where’s the problem? There are none, this crisis had no reason at first sight, in fact if it had not happened, I might have been quite peaceful and not looking for greener pastures. And ultimately this could be this very move, this action this afternoon, that will open me the doors to this freedom I have been wishing for.

Nothing happens without a reason, everything, no matter how small it is, leads somewhere. Sometimes you will be pushed outside your comfort zone, because this is the only way you can be helped, that you can position yourself to allow whatever you created in your mind to materialise into your life. And you have to be ready to follow your impulsions, listen to your intuition, be ready to act when it seems necessary, even if it seems out of place or out of character for you, even if you are not exactly certain why you are doing this at this particular time. You never know how what you truly wished for will come to be into your life, but you have to give it a chance.

So, I better look for jobs then, and see what happens. It must be part of the plan. Or else, perhaps the ultimate reason for this self-made crisis for which I am responsible of, even though I am at a lost to explain it, is for me to continue writing this book. I have so little free time to do so.

PART IX

Nature of this universe and our purpose

Are we alone in our own bubble universe?

About this fact that we need to be joyful and feel good in order to create joyful events, I suppose for me it never truly mattered, it was not important, because for me in the universe there was only me. I was the belly button of the whole universe, and everything else revolved around me. I am not speaking figuratively.

This is the ultimate egocentric universe you can think of, and yet, this is what you need to truly believe within you in order to achieve what I have achieved. That is, you are alone in your universe, and no one else truly exists. They are all puppets or virtual characters you created within your own game play. And when it is game over, you always get the “Try Again” option, and better luck this time, now that you have learned something from your previous screw up.

And when you take what Esther Hicks says to the limits, to the extreme of what she states, if it is true, and I have no doubt that it is, then if your desire is that in this universe there is only yourself and no one else, and that you control everyone else to the extent that she leads you to believe is possible, then no one else in this universe has any kind of freedom or powers. None of them can create anything within your own creation. And she does say it:

Chapter 3: You Do Create Your Own Reality

The Basis of Your Life Is Absolute Freedom

No One Else Can Create in Your Experience

I am sorry, but this is exactly what my own experience tells me. There is only one conclusion that can be drawn from such a statement, you are alone within your own universe, there is no one else.

Why Esther Hicks cannot state it in such obvious terms, I reckon, is because this is so challenging, this is so unthinkable, this is so unbelievable, astonishing, life changing event and the lot, that stating it any more clearly than she already did, would create such a panic, it could very well mean the end of the world as we know it, as it is the end of the world as we know it. And yet, it is true, this is an inescapable truth once you start playing with this and try to understand further what this universe is all about and your place within it.

You can change the world to such a degree that it will affect the destiny of virtually everyone else, and in that endeavour your only limit is the one you set yourself, meaning you can only change the world to the extent you feel you can, how possible it seems to you. Then once you realise how powerful you are, you can affect the existence of every single human being on the planet.

In which case, who are all these other persons populating your world? How can they be so powerless when you are so powerful? And what sort of universal computing machine could still accept conflicting ideas and somehow bring them all to reality? Or is this destiny truly capable of assessing which conflicting idea will go through, which ideas of which person will come to be, over the ones of others?

Are we alone in this universe whilst everyone else is simply a figment of our imagination, even though it seems real? This is the only way you can truly be that powerful, it is the only way no one can create within your own experience. It would explain why you could change the world so easily to such an extent that you could barely recognise the world that once was, if you even remember that world that existed before you started changing it at will on such a scale.

Unfortunately, the Many-Worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics is on very shaky grounds. The theory of an infinite amount of parallel universes or multiple realities in a multiverse is far from being proven without doubt, it is likely that it will eventually be dropped. And yet, somehow it could still be true that there are many parallel worlds, and that each one of us inhabits one that we can all reconfigure at will. As if we were all plugged in into a computer game or a matrix whilst being really within another world. And so we could very well be evolving alone in our existence.

I don’t say these things without due consideration, I truly believe it could be true in light of what I have experienced in this world. No, I am not just a kid who watched The Matrix movie too many times. If what I say seems similar to that movie, it is perhaps because that film really touched upon something that ringed true in our life. There is nothing I am stating here that I was not thinking and writing about before those movies came out, however I find them really useful as a reference to explain and show how this world we live in could truly be.

Except that over this virtual world, I don’t think we would find something similar to this virtual world. That other reality, I feel, must be quite different, and perhaps not material or physical at all. More like a dream world, a world of thought and consciousness perhaps, but this is speculation. I have no idea, and nothing in my experience points at anything that definite about the other side of life or any other world beyond the physical one that we know.

Are we living in a virtual world?

Why would I suddenly believe that my universe is virtual? Well, if I can change it at will, and I have done so spectacularly in the past, then how real can this world be? I have to admit to you, at times I really find these thoughts depressing.

Life is very much like a nice little computer adventure game like Sherlock Holmes or Agatha Christie that you load unto your computer late at night to evolve in that universe for a few hours until it is time to switch the computer off, go to bed, get up and go to work.

Except that going to work is just like that computer game. Even more astonishing, that computer game, you are the author of it, the programmer, you create it as you go along. Anything can happen, even though events have a tendency to be consistent with what is at hand or with what happened the day before.

For example, no UFOs and aliens will suddenly appear on a Sherlock Holmes or Agatha Christie adventure game, just like it will not necessarily happen to you on your way back from work. Simply because you do not believe that this is a strong possibility. If you truly believed it would happen, I am certain it would. You would be abducted, and aliens would do the worst things to you, if you so desired. However, it would still all be your own creation.

I have been wondering about how Esther Hicks would explain how it is possible that so many others on this planet can also be creating their own reality in parallel to mine, without them being capable of creating within my own, and me obviously being incapable of creating within theirs. How can we reconcile this paradox?

After all, we are all living here on this planet, all creating our own future together and individually, with infinite powers to make of this reality whatever we want, and there is no doubt that we can, but how is it possible then?

If someone wishes for Jesus Christ to come back to Earth, and succeeds, then it affects all of us. There will be more wars for one consequence, quite frankly perhaps none of us would survive. What then will happen to my dream of being a CEO selling hotdogs across Manhattan, my dream of becoming filthy rich and controlling thousands of slave workers? Perhaps the example is not perfect, but you understand what I mean. In this case, my freedom to create must end where the freedom of others to create begins.

Before Esther Hicks, there was no doubt in my mind, I was alone in my own bubble universe. Everyone else was also alone in their own bubble universes. Though I existed in many other bubble universes of others, I was there as another version of myself at a different point in space and time. I could exist in as many different versions as was possible. I was however in these other bubble universes just but a puppet without real consciousness or capacity to create anything.

Only in my own little bubble universe was I in total control of my own reality, where everyone else were just puppets I can control. Even though sometimes it is hard to convince yourself that you do indeed control them all, and that if you decide tomorrow morning that a bunch of them should disappear from your life instantly, they will indeed. I admit that I have nothing else but my own feeling and intuition to justify all this.

Now Esther Hicks tells me that we are all here collectively in the same universe, all creating collectively our future, all with our own individuality, capable of radically influencing the course of history to the point of achieving overnight collective and individual miracles. Surely any individual miracle impacts greatly on the miracles of others, to the point where they may no longer be possible? Sure, this is possible, I could accept it, even if it does not represent my own experience.

However, two things. I can understand why Esther Hicks would state it in those terms, it is the only way to say it without saying it, without telling us the real truth, which obviously none of us is ready to accept. Even me I am not ready to accept such a truth. I came to that conclusion, but I can scarcely believe it. It is so far from what I believed, what I have been taught, what I can conceive. It is such a life changing event, it made me question the point of continuing with this fallacy that existence truly is.

What would be the point of living on the holodeck your whole life? Creating universes day after day for you to evolve in, when you know you created that universe, the characters, what they are all about, what they will do and say? How can you then feel outraged or be hurt in any way by whatever they do? You wouldn’t, you shouldn’t, you couldn’t.

You created them, you know what they are all about, you know they will destroy you, criticise you, put you in such an impossible situation, that normally would send you completely off the wall. But now you know better, you did that to yourself, to test yourself, to learn something, and you sure will learn it the hard way if you are still unaware that you created these situations yourself, almost, we could say, just for fun. Or perhaps because you didn’t know better, you were still unaware that you created it all in the first place by your thoughts alone, unconsciously, absolutely out of control, to disastrous effect.

Life is, after all, just a game you create yourself. Or am I wrong and there is something I am missing? Is Esther Hicks right and we are all here right now, all creating the future, and yet, it all needs to be filtered and finally put together by this Source Energy, the universe, and somehow it does happen and this is how the future of the whole humanity comes to be? And yet, I alone, little me, can still have such an impact upon it? That overnight I can change this whole world on a massive scale on a whim?

I am still trying to explain this phenomenon, the world we live in. I have to admit though that my own personal feeling about this goes way beyond any explanation anyone else has come up with since. Actually, it may even be the explanation the fans of the film The Matrix would agree with, the one that must be the real explanation. Though I was already thinking in those terms years before, I even wrote a book about it in French published in Paris many years ago.

It is clear that there is not much difference between a computer CPU and our own brain. One is made of silicon, the other of carbon. The software on a computer creates worlds, all made of electrons, just like it seems our mind is capable of creating, worlds also made of electrons. Ultimately you don't need much convincing to accept that perhaps the world we live in is as virtual as a computer game, and that within a game there can be either many players or just one.

If our existence is as virtual as a computer game, I admit it is hard to go and change the software and hence change what we go through within the game, but what if the software of life gives us the chance to change certain things to a certain extent? Like a computer programmer, especially in the game The Matrix, gives you the chance to enter all sorts of codes and cheats, like if you were hacking the system. But the universe seems way ahead, it gives us the chance to create the game as we evolve within it, to think it and create it as we live.

I think we may be living in a virtual world, and that new configurations of the universe are much simpler to create than we think. I think we are all very much alone in our bubble universe, though it is perhaps possible that anyone we directly get in contact with is also a player within that same virtual world. There is no need to call it a virtual world at this point, it is the real world, as real as a computer game, which by definition is much simpler than life.

I don't know, we may never know. What I know is that not only can you change your future, I have found that you can also change your past, in order to radically change your future. That you can wake up the next day, and things are different, as if somehow you were able to change everything overnight.

This is going much further than The Secret, and what Esther Hicks says. And it is my experience that it is true, that you can change much more than your future, you can change the past, you can eliminate 9/11, you can delete Hitler from existence.

These are extreme examples, and it might be difficult for you to convince yourself that this is possible in order to make it come true, but I wonder, it could be much easier than you think. Even though you would not remember this sudden change of the past, as new memories of a past you never lived would come into your mind so this new world of yours would still make sense to you. So this is more than just a law of attraction. It was a nice try, but it does not suffice to explain the whole phenomenon.

I still agree that our mind and thought are powerful, that we can change the whole world overnight just by wishing it, and perhaps it has something to do with frequencies and electronic vibrations, just like computers and TVs. Perhaps it even has something to do with magnetism and attraction/repulsion. Somehow it still leaves us in the dark, we still have not explained what is truly behind all this.

Uncovering it would be the greatest discovery of all time, it would be like discovering that the world was just a game you were playing on a computer, and suddenly you wake up in some other world and go on to work. Total immersion into the game play, it lasts on average 75 years Earth time. And the way to quit the game, simple, you commit suicide or you get cancer or a heart attack, then you stop playing the game, turn off the machine and go to work in that other universe which is your real existence.

I am just extrapolating here. There is much more going on here than any of us know or could explain. I will not, I cannot talk in terms of law of attraction, or the power of thought frequencies to re-create the universe. I just don't know how to explain it, I'm not sure anyone has the answer. All I know is that it works. That I have used it to change my life radically, and that now I don't use it anymore.

I know I did when I got my job as a civil servant, because I can read in my blog that I was certain to get the job, so certain in fact that even before I went for the job interview, I had already started to write a blog about it. I feel it may have been the last time I consciously tried to change my future, perhaps because at the moment I like the way things are. It is much more peaceful than it was before, I am also much less suicidal.

Los Angeles was the low point of my existence. I can't believe I wished for that, and got it! I guess I forgot to wish for happiness as well, and so it turned out to be a real nightmare. Be careful what you wish for, it might come true.

You should watch the episode "Je Souhaite" of the X-Files (the title is actually in French). A genie appears offering you three wishes, but because you can never think of all the consequences of your wishes, they all turn to nightmare. Wishing things and see them come true could leave you in worst places you were in beforehand. It is a hard lesson I learnt the hard way.

Are dreams similar to our reality?

Recently I became interested in dreams and I started reading a book called Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen LaBerge. In there, one of the most important tasks to do about dreams, in order to help you remember them, is to write them down the minute you get up. Of course you have to make sure you don’t even move your head as soon as you wake up, and not think about your daily problems in order to remember the dreams. It is funny how easy it is to forget them, as if they were not meant to be remembered, whilst certainly leaving you a strange feeling which can sometimes last a few days.

There is something really puzzling about the dream world, about what it is that we experience when we are asleep, or supposed unconscious. It is an infinite amount of realities in which we evolve in, with a past, present and future which are given to us even though that concrete existence has got nothing to do with our reality once we wake up.

What is it that makes that virtual dream world less real than the one I will wake up in, the second I wake up? I don’t know. As far as I understand the dream world, it is as real as reality until the very moment I wake up and regain some other senses. In fact, often, I cannot distinguish between the dream and reality, no matter how farfetched the dream is. According to Stephen LaBerge, the brain cannot make the difference between a dream and real life, the readings on all the electronic gadgets at our disposal offer the same results for both worlds.

Dreams have a logic of their own, an absurd logic that we all believe in whilst experiencing it. It wouldn’t matter then if the universe was a black box with two rooms within it to evolve in, that would be the universe. And the logic of the dream would tell us that this is all there is, and all there ever was. There would be a past history to it with which we would be familiar, even though we would not have lived it within the dream, and a possible future we could predict, as we experience the present of that weird world.

The thing is, where is the dream end, and where is the reality begins? I don’t know. As far as I know, I wake up everyday is some sort of reality which I believe to be the same one as the previous day, and in between there are all these weird universes I experience in dreams.

I could be mistaken though. I could very well wake up in one of those dream worlds, in fact, I could very easily never wake up at all. Who’s to say if I am not in one of those dreams right now? There would be no way for my consciousness to know, since every dream comes with its own internal logic, its own past, present and future, where I know what came before, and what could possibly happen next, even if my dream is set in a science fiction world.

It is true that in dreams it is rare that I would be condemned to do routine and repetitive tasks like in this reality, things that bore me to death and could bring me to commit suicide. Thankfully in dreams I only seem to be experiencing interesting moments, significant moments, which would never make me think of suicide.

Reality is something else, wanting to commit suicide in the real world is a daily occurrence, who would want to live such an uninspiring existence? Not me, that’s for sure. I’ve been suicidal all my life, as I can’t stand the routine and what it is that I have to do in order to be offered shelter, food and clothing. What is weird is that I don’t really care about these things, I don’t need lodging, food or clothing, the basic needs of all human beings. In dreams, these never creep up.

Which makes me wonder what reality really is, some sort of hell perhaps, compared with the dream world, where I have no social status, no physical appearance which could stop any of my projects in their tracks, no identified psychological problems which could hindered what’s coming next. In fact, dreams are much better than the reality I live in. Without dreams, better commit suicide, because the life we lead right now cannot inspire anyone to remain alive, no matter what.

Success and becoming rich overnight do not matter, these people are easily more paranoid and unhappy then the next one who has nothing to look forward to. Reality is a bastard that no one on this planet can sustain and be happy with. The dream world makes it all acceptable. As long as you dream for a few hours a night in your 8 hour sleep, living in all these different worlds where you are not limited by anything, then it is acceptable to have another 8 hours of killing yourself in a meaningless job, and another wasted 8 hours spent watching TV, another device designed to alienate you against the world you live in, that your consciousness refuses to accept.

Any way or reason to escape reality is welcomed, whether it is TV, computer games or dream. This is how we gain enough strength to go to work and be de-humanised whilst doing these tasks more suited to a computer or a machine. If only everything could finally become automatic for good.

The real basic needs of human beings are far from being the need for food, shelter and clothing, in this day and age anyway where we all have these things in abundance, so much so that we take them for granted. I wouldn’t care if I had no food for days. I couldn’t care less if I had a roof to sleep under every night or not, I could easily sleep under a tree anywhere. And for clothing, as long as it is summer, I wouldn’t mind walking naked around here. So Maslow with his pyramid was terribly wrong. Even his most physiological needs do not exist in my dreams, and the top of his pyramid, self-actualisation, is just a normal occurrence in all my dreams, and even my reality. I only live to actualise myself, is some sort of great creation which I feel sometimes goes all over the place.

So perhaps you should just question existence, confuse the dream world with reality, just like I do, and then, God knows, there will no longer be a dream world and a reality, but just one reality in the dream world. I’m quite ready to sleep for the rest of my life, sustained by machines, whilst I dream my reality away. And this is how one can get to understand why this game of life might actually last 75 years in average. It is perhaps the way to escape some other reality which has become unbearable somehow.

I don’t know in which sort of reality Maslow existed, and to be honest, I’m not bothered, but it has nothing to do with my own reality. There’s no routine in my existence, no primary needs to satisfy, because I fall asleep way too quickly to even think about it, and then my whole existence is the dream world, where I’m at the top of his pyramid permanently: self-actualisation.

That has always been the real me, I don’t know and I don’t want to know about the one who has been poor all his life, working in a soul destroying job in order to pay the bills. That sort of reality does not belong to me. I have never believed it even existed, even in my worst moments of being poor and miserable.

In my mind, I have always been the richest person around, the most emancipated, with an unbounded existence where I have been anyone I could ever dream to be. I have never for one second believed that reality where I was just a moron worth nothing, with no potential, incapable of achieving anything. It does not seem to matter that my existence up until now has been just that, the one of a moron with no potential whatsoever, doing the most boring things one could imagine. I somehow convinced myself that this was not me, not my life, not my reality. It is much easier to change your future if you don’t really believe this existence is truly yours to begin with, if you barely recognise yourself within your own existence.

There is a way to escape reality, to live somewhere else, to imagine that it does not exist, and somehow believe that the dream world is more real than reality. Where we’re no loser, that this concept simply does not exist.

How would you explain that I have been the poorest person alive on this planet, and yet, I always felt like I was the richest? Nothing could reach me, nothing ever made me realise I was that poor, or that I was incapable of buying bread. I never cared for such things, I always lived in the dream world, way beyond reality. And I know this is a nicer place to be in, than if I really was rich in the real world. This does not bring happiness, but living in the dream world does. It is unshakable, you live everywhere at any time, you are anything you ever wanted to be, everyday. The dream world, for me, has always been more real than reality ever was. That is why I never thought I was poor and desperate when I actually was, for most of my life.

I was never stopped from doing whatever I wanted anyway, to the point where I questioned reality, wondered if finally I could influence it somehow, make it what I wanted it to be. For a while I was convinced I could influence my future, make it the way I wanted, just like in dreams. I cannot deny that I succeeded beyond belief, at which point I truly was convinced that there was no difference between the dream world and reality.

Dreams come as they come, reality you can influence without limit. There are many ways by which you can change your future, one is hard work, another is simply to wish for it. I had a much higher success rate at simply wishing it, hard work being impossible and a waste of time.

I’m not sure anymore how real this world is. I’m not sure if dreams are not exactly what reality is. I cannot explain what this reality is that I wake up to after 8 hours of sleep, which seems to be a killing routine that no one in their right mind would want to suffer, and yet, I’m not even sure if I wake up to the same reality everyday, as I could easily be waking up to a reality I never really lived in before.

In my dreams, I gain the knowledge of a past history of what came before the present, without having had the time to experience it, and so waking up to a reality like in any of these dreams, would be easy, with the full knowledge of a past I never really experienced before.

Dreams are a puzzling thing in this existence. They make you question reality, the legitimacy of it. Does it really exist? I’m not sure. I cannot make the distinction between a dream and reality, until I’m awake, and then, am I really awake? I don’t know. And then, how absurd questions like these truly become: “What is this universe we live in, what is my purpose here?”. Or questions like: “Am I aware or not? What is consciousness?”. Meaningless. All meaningless. In this context anyway. And perhaps in any context.

Is this whole existence just a psychological bad trip? Is it just all in the mind? Is there any reality after all? As far as I can go back in my mind, questioning what reality really is, has always been the first question on my lips. I somehow never really believed it existed. And the dream world is a convincing fact of just how flimsy reality can be, which could easily be just one more extra imagined world our mind is capable of creating.

Add to this that this world could have been created by a god, or someone, with what seems to be the power of his own mind, and that digging in the esoteric side of religions, you learn that you could yourself create such worlds, and probably do so every night in your sleep, then you might as well be a god yourself, and be the god of your own reality or destiny.

And then you read a few self-help books, about how you can revolutionise your own existence and the world surrounding you, how you can change it completely in order to fulfil every single desire you’ve got, and then you succeed. Isn’t this amazing? No. But it is a great wake up call. About what this reality really is about. That it can be so easily manipulated, that whatever you desire, you can get. Just wish for it, and bing, the next day you wake up in the universe you wanted. It works, I’ve done it. This is how I turned my life around, how I got to go to Los Angeles for a year. And then I understood that reality was just like a dream, that I could make it whatever I wanted. Even better, because I am in control of what I want my reality to be. As far as dreams are concerned, I have no control. I can be a CEO or a cleaner, it is not my decision, I just suffer the consequences, it is out of my control, unlike the real world, which I can influence freely.

Should it not be the other way around? Well, according to Stephen LaBerge, with lucid dreaming you can equally control your dream world. If that is true, I bet it could become quite a tool to change your entire reality almost instantly. By the marriage of the dream world and the real world, I feel we could create a different reality much faster, wilder, more out of touch with what happened yesterday in your real life. You could easily wake up on Mars in the real world.

Sometimes I feel that if I wished a totally different universe, it would be. Is this world more psychological than physical or physiological? I have to say yes. This whole universe, this whole consciousness, this is all in my mind, and I can influence it as much as I want. And therefore, I don’t care if I’m poor, I feel I wanted it to be that way. As long as I’m living in England, in London, which is all that seems to matter to me. That’s what I wanted, and that’s what I got. And if I want to retire in France one day, I will. That’s what I want, that’s what I’ll get. And at this point, I’m no longer certain what reality is, and where is the frontier between reality and the dream world.

Whatever you want, you can have. But what if what you want is a different universe to live in? Can you have it then? I believe you can. And so, at this point, anything you know might just be the fruit of your own imagination. You might have invented it all, even in your subconscious mind. And you could just as easily invent something totally different tomorrow morning. Reality could be as fickle as a dream. And perhaps this is what I understood at such an early age, as I always thought there was something else than this reality, something more unreal, just like the dream world is, where anything is possible.

I had lucid dreams that change my existence, ones that were so powerful, I feel it made me discover something hidden about reality, gave me an unprecedented understanding of the world we live in. I was never the same after that. I had other dreams that were so powerful, and so vivid, that they always remained on my mind years later, as if they were memories of a past life, or another existence in which I wouldn’t mind living in. I also defined them as lucid dreams because I was in control, I could decide what to do, where to go, and they were all characterised by the fact that I could fly. Most of my other dreams are simply my daily normal dreams, often they are extensions of my boring reality and they mirror my daily tasks. These normal dreams are also important, they turn my reality into a world of the absurd, more fantasist, and in doing so, they make that reality more bearable. I am hoping that somehow they might shed some light over my existence.

In my entire life, I remembered only one dream that seems to have changed my life, and to be honest, I’m not even certain if it was a lucid dream, as it may very well have been just a normal dream, though I believed at the time it had far reaching implications as to the meaning of my existence. Perhaps I watched too many sci-fi films and my mind went into overdrive. It was not like my other lucid dreams, and yet there was no denying that it was a powerful dream.

At the time I wanted, I needed to write down that dream, but I was prevented in doing so in real life, just as I was prevented from gaining my freedom in the dream. So in real life, I could witness the continuation of what was so disturbing in the dream, as if it was a proof that everything in real life was just like in the dream, trying to prevent me from reaching the truth about reality.

Despite having to wait many hours before I could finally write it down, I believe I remembered clearly just about everything, and from there I went on to write an elaborate analysis of what the phenomenon of deja vu is. Never in my life, a dream had such an impact upon my creativity, it is at least a result, if in the end, nothing really changed in my reality, or my perception of it. At the time, I have to say, I was convinced the dream was a true reflection of what my existence, all our existence, was all about.

So here is the full report I wrote following that dream. I could have given you the short version, but I thought, what the heck, let’s see the full impact the dream had upon me, so you can be witness to my madness. The real question here is, can it be, that as soon as you seem to reach some sort of truth about this world, this reality, suddenly people in your life will try to prevent you from reaching that truth? As if they were protecting something so important that if you suddenly found out, you might no longer feel the desire to continue with this life, as perhaps you might not see the point of living in such a virtual world, your own creation?

An illuminating dream about this reality

I was in a large building and I don’t think it was the first time I had this dream. There were glass elevators, escalators, a big opened area where you could see the many levels of the place like in shopping centres. The place was dark, dark brown carpets and brown wood everywhere, it did not look like a shopping centre.

Away from the grand area there were offices and perhaps some boutiques. In the upper levels some apartments. I appeared to be living and working in the building as I had my friends and my boss all interconnected in this closed universe. I could go out of the building, and outside it was summer in the busy but small streets. I had two friends with whom I was interacting.

The problem is that I was reliving some moments of deja vu but on a normal basis, all the time. It was like in the movie Groundhog Day, as if the day was happening again and again, always different every day or every perhaps two hour reruns, as I don’t believe it was days. It was like if life was actually just a video game and you had to live through something until you had it right. And if you did not, it was automatically restarting but this time it was different. There were the same players or actors, but different functions, different job titles, different personalities.

I was not supposed to remember the previous events, but I did. And I started to panic because the first time, the African guy (my friend) was doing a certain thing, and then suddenly he was someone else, with another personality, doing something different, like if he was not the same guy. Once he was arrested by the police, another time we were talking about things, perhaps work, and then I started to realise the treachery and I lost faith because I understood something was not right. I had deja vu of moments I had lived that were a totally different reality, the same setting but radically changed. And I was saying: no, this is not right, you are not what you are claiming to be, I just experienced this but something else was happening instead!

The more I was fighting against all the elements coming my way and came to understand that it was not right, the more events and people tried to change my mind so I would continue with the simulation. Suddenly I was promoted, an incredibly high position, and they were to throw me a party that my boss personally told me to attend.

And when I decided against going there, I jumped in an elevator and immediately a known Hollywood actor, a black guy that looks like a kid (Gary Coleman or something), came in the elevator and started to jump around. I believe he was supposed to be part of the party and occupy my mind so I did not see through the false reality. So I pushed him and I shouted that I wanted to exit the building!

Police at the upper level started to run after me, so instead of getting back in the elevator, I ran on some sort of escalator where I saw glass doors leading outside. Funny I never noticed those doors before and I was surprised they were so easily reachable. Like if it was useless to protect them, as everyone inside could always at any moment prevent me from reaching those doors, like if everyone was connected by a unified mind like a computer. It is only when I did something completely unexpected that I could reach the doors, only because I knew something was wrong and needed to free myself.

I went out, and to my big surprise it was snowing outside and there was a lot of snow on the ground (even though when I went out by the main doors of the building it was summer). The building was in a large hangar like at an airport, and big double wooden doors were closing, probably to prevent me from getting out.

Outside there were people walking and they did not seem to me to be like the ones inside. These people I felt were like the actors of The Truman Show movie when they were not part of the simulation of a reality. They stayed at the back of the decor, relaxing and going about their real life whilst inside they had to act for Jim Carey who was not supposed to know he was the star of a TV show.

I could see a little sandwich shop and a gas pump I believe. And whilst I was trying to get under the wooden doors before they closed completely, everything went very slowly and I could still feel I was right under the door at the last moment, when my cat woke me up in real life (no doubt helping me to remember this dream!).

After that I had in my mind this weird image of a cylindrical form in 3D or similar shape but with 6 faces, turning on itself, with lines inside representing a structure, a bit like the Rama ship from the book of Arthur C. Clarke (and the PC game), but much smaller. I believe it represented the universe I was living in, including the building.

When I woke up I had the feeling that life was exactly the same, that this was exactly what I was living: a long deja vu and a reality that was not right. And sure enough my partner appeared to be doing everything for me to forget my dream. And I tried to come to my computer to write it all down, so I could remember all the details that I have now forgotten, and I was unable to. We had to leave the apartment but I tried to remember as much as I could in order to write it later.

Like in the dream, immediately there was a rallying cry to occupy my mind and try to make me forget that for a full minute here I was aware of something terribly wrong with reality. Like if it was just a computer programme like a matrix and that basically we were only reliving the same day on a different theme at any moments notice.

The fact that the building appeared to be physical, with an outside world with real people, indicates that perhaps it was not a computer game or a matrix-like universe. Or the computer simulation was quite powerful, as it could change the configuration of my universe instantly, and I was not supposed to remember or to have deja vu about it.

God knows what the purpose of such a universe was. Was I supposed to learn things, and as I learnt them suddenly, the configuration of the universe would change and I could go on to learn something else? Like a school of life, a sophisticated way of learning, that could basically be what we are living right now in our reality?

Now I wonder to what extent the films The Matrix, Groundhog Day and The Truman Show have a real basis in reality. The people who had these ideas, did they have similar dreams, did they realise somehow that something was not quite right with reality? Or perhaps I saw too many movies, thought too much and my imagination is running wild?

At the very least, life could be a time loop or composed of many time loops. How this is all working together, if we are all going back in time when these loops occur, is unknown. The only indication that we have that this is happening is the feeling of deja vu. And as we don’t have them very often, we can assume that the time loops don’t happen often, or that it is rare that we are aware of the phenomenon. It is possible that there is no purpose to sometimes going back in time and history repeating itself for a bit, other than being a normal physical phenomenon which could eventually be predicted by physics.

So we don’t have to be metaphysical or philosophical about this, it may not be paranormal, and it could explain a lot of the paranormal phenomena like telepathy (you and your friend remembering at the exact same time something you told each other at that time in a previous loop). Prediction of the future and intuition could be just what you remember from a previous loop. And as events don’t change that much from one loop to the other, then you seem to be right most of the time, but not always.

One thing is for sure, there is something quite not right with deja vu. I am obsessed with them as I believe that explaining them would go a long way towards explaining the reality we believe we are living in.

If we were to start experiencing them every hour of the day, I think we would start seeing much further into the ways of the mechanisms of the existence or the laws of physics. We would understand that not only life is not linear, but also that from one minute to the next, everything can change: our friends, our family, our social position, locations, etc. And then, some bug in the programme or some memories of the previous loops made me realise what was going on: I had too many deja vu and my life was not reflecting my previous memories of these loops.

Funny enough this is not the first time I come up with this possibility that one day I may be living in London, but the next day I wake up in Toronto as if I had always lived there and never set foot in London. The next day I am actually living in New York instead, and the next day I am in London again. I wrote about it. All this could make sense and we could wake up in new places with all these memories that we forget the very next day, with new sets of memories to replace the previous ones. With a bit of imagination, where are you really? Especially if you are good at convincing yourself of where you truly are, or where you want to be?

Dreams are exactly like that. In a dream, things happen to you and you have a past, a history, some memory of who you are and what happened before the moments you are living, and these memories do not reflect your real memories in real life. Reality could be just the same, another kind of dream state. Computer programming shows us that this is not so farfetched, as if we were an artificial intelligence in a computer simulation, we could have as many lives as the programmer would create, as we would create.

Certainly deja vu is a disturbing phenomenon. Are we actually reliving the same moments over and over again, sometimes remembering it clearly and vividly? What about if we were constantly reliving the same moments without being aware of it?

PART VII

Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception

by Max Heindel

(I will be deleting a lot of this part soon. I seem to have written things that I don’t remember writing, and even, that I don’t agree with. I’m not sure how it happened, but I suspect it has more to do with alcohol than channelling.)

Introduction to Rosicrucian Philosophy

Alright, time for a warning. I know you people, you are way too ready to jump into any new religion, religious sect or secret society. The first one to come along to tell you he speaks with God and tells you that God told him that you would do certain things, your Ego takes over and you are ready to sell your soul on the spot.

Before joining any of these organisations, you need to investigate them. And even then it would be insufficient, because even though a whole religion or a whole organisation might be clean, you cannot say as much for all of their branches worldwide. In doubt, you are better off going it alone. Corruption is everywhere, people preying on you for power and finances are everywhere. You can very well pursue your own truth on your own, you don’t even have to involve your family in it, in fact you shouldn’t, as we are all free to pursue our own truth, our own vision of the world and its hidden mechanisms, if you have that chance, please, give others the same respect, the same liberty.

The whole point of this book is for you to find absolute freedom, you would not find that by joining any organisation with any sort of hierarchy which will wipe out your freedom. So read books to draw inspiration, every single book there is on the market, but do not sell your soul to anyone, remain independent with broaden horizons, remain free.

I am only talking about the Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception because in the film The Secret they show many images of it, even in the trailer of the film. Also because Max Heindel has quite a way to explain what this law of attraction could be. The most sophisticated and complicated explanation I have ever read, it certainly makes you think. This is Occultism at its best, esoteric teachings, and I am going to try to resume to you what this conception is, so you can get a basic idea of how Max Heindel saw it all, channelled from the Elder Brothers of the Rosicrucian order, some order which is over a 700 years old (1313), though it was quite forgotten before Max Heindel resuscitated it in 1909, the year the Cosmo-Conception was published. Heindel died ten years later in 1919.

The Rosicrucian is a religious sect based on Christian mysticism. The two main branches are in Los Angels and in France somewhere in a wonderful castle. Both branches disagree with each other and claim the other branch is a fraud. In the end, the only thing that is important here is this book of Max Heindel, upon which both branches are based on, it is their Bible. With the Rosicrucian teachings, come as well the re-interpretation of the Christian Bible in an occult way, in which the Genesis is re-interpreted to actually describe Evolution as much as Creation, and also Astrology teachings.

Today, you could probably get access to all their teachings without having to join their group, it is all available online for free. So it is not as secret as people would like you to believe, however it is filled with codes and hidden truth, and unfortunately, though a lot of what is hidden is given to you, I suspect there is much more which will only be given to students. Teaching is also offered via more esoteric means whilst in an awaken sleep state, once you reached a certain level in your development. I have uncles who confirmed to me that this is true, they were part of the Rosicrucian Sect at some point, and I have no reason to doubt them. I joined when I was around 15 years old, but gave up after two lessons by post. None of my uncles are now Rosicrucians except one, perhaps I should talk to him about this book. My other uncles feel that he is wasting his time, they are now part of other religious sects and see Rosicrucians as not highly developed and a waste of time. God only knows where they are now in their own personal development in their spiritual life. None of this is for me though, and I feel it shouldn’t be for you either.

How can I describe this book the Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception? Well, it is mad, it is a gigantic construction explaining what all the inner worlds are all about, in some super structured universe always built on the number seven and spirals. Seven is a holy number, and spirals are the key to everything, starting with the structure of the DNA and how matter moves, including galaxies.

The Rosicrucian conception of God and the scheme of evolution from Wikipedia

Though I feel this description is largely incomplete, and confusing, it is stating what the Rosicrucian cosmology conception is in a manner I could not:

According to the Western Wisdom Teachings, in the beginning of a Day of Manifestation a certain collective Great Being, God, limits Himself to a certain portion of space, in which He elects to create a Solar System for the evolution of added self-consciousness.

In God there are contained hosts of glorious Hierarchies and lesser beings of every grade of intelligence and stage of consciousness, from omniscience to an unconsciousness deeper than that of the deepest trance condition. During the current period of manifestation these various grades of beings are working to acquire more experience than they possessed at the beginning of this period of existence. Those who, in previous manifestations, have attained the highest degree of development work on those who have not yet evolved any consciousness.

The period of time devoted to the attainment of self-consciousness and to the building of the vehicles through which the spirit in man manifests, is called "Involution". The succeeding period of existence, during which the individual human being develops self-consciousness into divine omniscience, is called "Evolution". Every evolving being has within him a "force" which makes evolution not to be a mere enfoldment of latent germinal possibilities but a process where each individual differ from that of every other. This force, called "Epigenesis", provides the element of originality and gives scope to the creative ability which the evolving being is to cultivate that he may become a God.

Heindel states that in the Solar system, God's Habitation, there are seven Worlds differentiated by God, within Himself, one after another. These Worlds have each a different "measure" and rate of vibration and are not separated by space or distance, as is the earth from the other planets. They are states of matter, of varying density and vibration (as are the solids, liquids and gases of the physical Earth). These Worlds are not instantaneously created at the beginning of a day of Manifestation, nor do they last until the end. The evolutionary scheme is carried through five of these Worlds in seven great Periods of manifestation, during which the evolving virgin spirit becomes first human and then a God. The highest Worlds are created first, and as involution is to slowly carry the life into denser and denser matter for the building of forms, the finer Worlds gradually condense and new Worlds are differentiated within God to furnish the necessary links between Himself and the Worlds which have consolidated. In due time the point of greatest density, the nadir of materiality, is reached. From that point the life begins to ascend into higher Worlds, as evolution proceeds. That leaves the denser Worlds depopulated, one by one. When the purpose has been served for which a particular World was created, God ends its existence, which has become superfluous, by ceasing within Himself the particular activity which brought into being and sustained that World.

Rosicrucians teach that the above referred seven Worlds belong to the lowest of the seven "Cosmic Planes". The Worlds and Cosmic Planes are not one above another in space, but the seven Cosmic Planes inter-penetrate each other and all the seven Worlds. They are states of spirit-matter, permeating one another, so that God and the other great Beings pervade every part of their own realms and realms of greater density than their own, including our world: "in Him we live and move and have our being". Proceeding from the physical world to the inner worlds, God - the "Architect of the Solar System", the Source and goal of human existence - is found in the highest division of the seventh Cosmic Plane: this is His World. In order to trace the origin of the Architect of the Solar System, one must pass to the highest of the seven Cosmic Planes: the "Realm of the Supreme Being", Who emanated from "The Absolute". The Absolute is beyond comprehension and, as manifestation implies limitation, He may be best described as "Boundless Being": the "Root of Existence".

From The Absolute proceeds the Supreme Being, at the dawn of manifestation: this is The One, the "Great Architect of the Universe". The first aspect of the Supreme Being may be characterized as Power, from this proceeds the second aspect, the Word, and from both of these proceeds the third, aspect, Motion. From the threefold Supreme Being proceed the "seven Great Logoi". They contain within Themselves all the great Hierarchies which differentiate more and more as they diffuse through the various Cosmic Planes. In the Highest World of the seventh Cosmic Plane dwells the God of the Solar Systems in the Universe. These great Beings are also threefold in manifestation, like the Supreme Being. Their three aspects are Will, Wisdom and Activity.

The four kingdoms and the visible and invisible worlds

So, quickly, what is perhaps important to comprehend in this vision of the universe, is that there are four Kingdoms, mineral, plant, animal and human. This is in the physical world, which is separated in three layers of the dense body: solids, liquids and gases.

The physical world has four other layers composing the vital body: the chemical ether, life ether, light ether and reflecting ether. As you can see in the diagram, mineral barely goes over the gas layer, whilst plant, a bit more evolved, can reach the light ether, whilst animals can reach the desire world, the lower desires and feelings. Whilst humans can reach the world of thought, the mind, the focus of the mind which comes after concrete thought.

In the Rosicrucian teaching, the universe is divided into seven different Worlds, or states of matter, as follows (humans can only evolve in the physical world, the desire world and the world of thought, until that is the next level of evolution, where we will evolve in the world of life spirit):

1. World of God.

2. World of Virgin Spirits.

3. World of Divine Spirit.

4. World of Life Spirit.

5. World of Thought.

6. Desire World.

7. Physical World.

These three diagrams resume perfectly everything the Rosicrucian philosophy is all about. However, I studied these three diagrams and suddenly the light came on only after many reading of the text accompanying these diagrams. It is mind boggling, and yet it is impressive. It seems quite arbitrary, in this obsession of dividing everything in seven regions, all sub-divided in seven sub regions, and then yet again subdivided in other seven sub-sub-regions. If you do not feel like banging your head on the wall after that, nothing in this world will.

I will get to explain all of this soon, so you too can understand. However, there is one more diagram you need to see, the ultimate one, which shows what place our God has in this universe, and I’m afraid to say, he is but one amongst billions, as our God is limited to this solar system, and there is a God who created each solar system, and then there must be a god for each galaxy as they move on on the hierarchy of beings in this universe, and the ultimate God must be the one who created this is whole universe. Our God, in this solar system, is the Sun, as the Sun and every single planet are beings with a consciousness, much more evolved than we are, though eventually we will be just like them, Gods creating a planet, a solar system, a galaxy and eventually a whole universe:

Maybe this is too much for you to grasp right now. I understand, believe me. Nevertheless, how can any story about creation, whether it is one of the universe or the simple one of your own reality leave out the most important part of what this universe is truly all about and composed of? Which is the world of electrons, which is equivalent to the world of planets. The nucleus of an atom is composed of protons and neutrons, but it is very likely that these are composed of electrons. Just like the Sun is most probably composed of planets. Right, not exactly, as you may suspect. It is far easier at the small scale to be able to speak in those terms, at the larger scale though we can actually see better. But for the sake of argument, right now in our state of understanding of the very small and very large universe, I will speak in those terms.

The fact remain that a whole civilization start up as rocks, in the mineral realm. And in the next stage, they become plant life, and in the next, animal life, and in the next, human life, and in the next, planet life, and in the next, Sun, God of a whole solar system, and in the next, God of a whole galaxy, and in the next, God of a whole universe. And all of these have a consciousness of some sort, they are all alive. And at a smaller scale, it means that every single electron is also alive and similar to a planet. And every nucleus of an atom is composed of the same thing as planets or electrons, it is like a Sun, and the God of that atom. And your whole body right now, is like a galaxy, and there is a God governing and creator of that galaxy, and from Jane Roberts sayings, I gather that this God of your body is not exactly you, your mind, though you both work together in order to continue this evolution.

I am going much further here than the Rosicrucian teachings, but why not? I think it does not contradict what the Rosicrucian Cosmo-Conception states, and that pushed further, this is what this is all about, this universe, our existence, what we are evolving towards, what is the next level of our existence, being planets revolving around a Sun God, until such time as we can ourselves finally evolved to the point of being the Sun God of our own solar system, and exist as a Sun.

I am uncertain at this point if all of us will reach that stage in our development. First as a humanity we need to go through the world of life spirit, the world of divine spirit and the world of virgin spirit. And each of these worlds, we are supposed to collectively create and maintain respectively the life and evolution of mineral, plant life, animals and humans. And when you get to the point of creating human beings capable of concrete and abstract thought, it means, they can in turn create realities themselves. Reaching the point of creating your own humanity capable of thinking and creating within their own limited universe, a planet, is remarkable and the goal we are all trying to achieve, whether we know it or not.

But that is not enough, it is not our ultimate goal, because after that you exist as a planet, as a Sun, as a whole solar system, as a whole galaxy, as a whole universe. And at that point, you are the ultimate God to a lot of consciousnesses and beings. And so ultimately it is not futile and moribund little realities and events within your existence that you are struggling to create, it is more in terms of matter and the basic elements of this physical world that you are working with, and re-arrange by though alone in order to create real solar systems and galaxies and universes.

But this is what you are already doing, at a smaller scale, without even realising it. When you think of something, this idea becomes real no matter what. This idea has a form and it is said that it is as concrete as anything that exists, since the world of thought is as real as the physical world. If you can think it, it exists somewhere. And it exists in the small scale universe, the infinitely small universe. In the world of electrons and atoms. This is what is expanding further as you think, as you create, and if you are good at it, it actually expands and exist within your own universe. This is the law of allowing of Esther Hicks. Allowing those creations to expand within your own universe. Now you see why this is hard, when you are ignorant, because you go about all of this so blindly, without knowing the first thing about the real mechanism behind it all.

It seems that I have accepted this world view of Max Heindel completely. I cannot fault it, it seems right to me. If you have gone that far as accepting Esther Hicks and Abraham’s teachings, and went further and accepted Jane Roberts and Seth’s teachings, well, you might as well go a little bit further and embrace some truth that can finally make sense of it all, because without Max Heindel, I’m afraid, nothing makes sense. Not to say that he is right, but at least this way makes sense. I’m not even sure if the students of the philosophy of Rosicrucian even comprehend this at this time. If they understand their Cosmo-Conception as most Christians understand their Bible, it is safe to say that everyone on this planet has missed the point, the whole point of our existence.

I also firmly believe that you can jump real fast and skip a few steps if you truly understand what you are doing and where it leads. There is no need to remain blind to it all. You have gone that far already, that you are reading these strange books including this one. You know, I skip my fifth grade after a few psychological tests which proved that I was clever enough to go from 4^th Grade to 6^th directly. And I suspect it is the same with this.

Once you understand that your existence is not to simply sit still and see what others have thought this reality should be, and that suddenly it becomes, and you are there struggling with it all, then you reach a new level of understanding. You understand that you have more power over this reality than you ever thought could be possible. You understand that you can modify it all at will, and even, create it at will, including modifying the past, present and future, and that if you can believe it, the human race can be halfway across the known universe by now instead of barely outside the solar system. There is no denying that whatever you can think of, whatever you feel you can create, will be. It is still small scale, limited to your own small inner universe or frame of mind.

I have changed this reality beyond recognition. I have changed everything on a massive scale, that it has affected everyone worldwide. You can as well, with practice. And this is still very small scale minded. The next step is to work, to imagine, to create, universes. Everything that you know about universes.

Out of nowhere suddenly appears matter, so much matter, you still don’t know what to do with it. No Big Bang, no such thing ever happened. As the act of creation is simply to have all this matter appear out of nowhere, for you to organise, to play with, to create worlds, many worlds, many parallel worlds, as many worlds are you will create consciousnesses within it, capable of creating themselves whatever they want of their own bubble universe.

This is you being God, a God controlling many hierarchies of beings and consciousnesses. This is the sort of thing you need to create, to concentrate on, more in terms of planets, suns, solar systems, galaxies and universes. And every single being and consciousness within it, which goes from the first rock, to the first plant, to the first animal, to the first human being, to the first planet, to the first sun, to the first solar system, to the first galaxy. And then multiply it, and multiply it, and multiply it, and yet, keep control of your creation, oversee it all, because it is your only goal, your only purpose. Creating universes on a massive scale, on God’s level, the ultimate God, which you need to become eventually, and perhaps you could skip a few steps along the way.

Disconnecting from this world, from these hierarchies, from everyone and everything, I wonder, must be possible. Freeing yourself from all these forms of existence and different realms, and all your responsibilities within these realms and existences, I’m sure is possible. Some higher beings must have broken the law to let us know what was coming, what this was all about. The message got through. We now have a complete picture of what this universe is all about and our role within it. We know our ultimate goal. We no longer need to wait for the next stage, the next existence, the next realm, we can already work towards breaking off, our ultimate freedom, ultimate creation of our universe free from any previous creation and their meaningless constructions.

I think the God of our universe thought he was clever, I think he thought this was all necessary, such a construction, such an elaborate structure of how everything evolves and comes to be. I think he was misguided, by previous generations of ignorant gods. And that everything can be much simpler. That we can get out of these hierarchies, get out of this sort of natural evolution, which will go on for thousand of years. I think we can be free right now, break free right now, by rejecting it all, by creating it all ourselves, and even, by thinking a bit, wondering if any of this is truly necessary, by assessing if perhaps things could be radically different.

We have only been creating here on Earth, on such basic terms, because we didn’t know better. We were unaware of our true powers, because we were ignorant of the true extent of such powers. I was telling you to stay away from such organisation as the Rosicrucian, I am not telling you to stay away from higher forms of organisation, from higher structures of this universe, whatever being, God or other, who is responsible for this construction we live in.

Think! Think hard! Create! Create hard! Break free! Skip all the steps, all those worlds, all those existences, all those responsibilities for aeons and aeons, no way we are going through this! We can be gods, right now! We can create universes, right now! And none of it needs to be as complicated and take forever as it is now the case. None of it requires to be so many more existences learning how to create the most basic things as rocks, plants, animals and humans. No, I do not have thousands of years to waste leaning and practicing these trifles, once I truly understand what this world, this universe, and beyond, is all about.

I can break free, I will break free, I will reassess if this needs to be, if this universe is truly necessary, and create my own universe, whatever I feel needs to be or should be. Something new, something that never was before. And certainly not as complicated, with so many layers of beings and worlds, as is now. I am ready to break free and create something new. Something simple, reachable and understandable easily, no more evolutions, no more learning, no more competition, no more so many different states of existence in so many realms which take forever, that before you know it, thousands of years have passed, which seems totally wasted.

Time is not relative, time is time, and it passes, very slowly. One dies waiting for time to pass, God, it seems like forever, as it is. I can’t wait that long. I cannot go in all these stages and states and practicing the magic of creation on worthless and meaningless things like rocks, plants, animals and human beings, and further on with planets, suns, solar systems, galaxies and so on. Perhaps God has the whole of eternity, I don’t, nor do I want to spend an eternity on that bullshit. I already feel quite capable of creating whole universes and everything that it involves, and even then, I’m not sure the point of it all. I need to rethink all this, I need to rethink everything. Seems pretty pointless and useless to me. All of it! Such a long process for nothing in the end, but more of the same, perhaps better the next time around, because we are in this spiral way of looking at everything, of evolving, and yet, it makes no sense to me, pointless, all of it!

I think this is when I tell you that I am an anarchist, and that I am pleased I have reached some sort of understanding about what this whole universe was about, because now I indent to break free. Changing my future was nice for a while, whilst it was something to do, something to become aware I could do and did. But when you realise how this whole universe works, all the different stages, how long it will all take, if you can believe Max Heindel and the Elder Brothers elsewhere in some other realms, well, I’m sorry, but I have to break free. I didn’t even have the patience to finish this particular existence, let alone so many others which will last forever. I’m desperate for a short cut, and somehow if I get the whole picture, if I understand everything, I might just find my short cut, find a way to break free from everything.

I must believe this is possible, as I cannot recognise this existence anymore. I cannot see the way I used to see. All seems so worthless and meaningless, as if inexistent. Creating my future and other realities, this is now the least of my worries, or perhaps not, as I know need to be thrown out of it all, exist on my own, create something new on my own, re-think everything, just exist out of this universe.

I think I can, I think it is possible. Absolute freedom! This is what I have always been about, and now we’re talking about real absolute and essential freedom, from anything and everything that ever was before. Throwing us into non-existence, into nothing, into a real void, and yet, this is the starting point of everything, of anything that will ever be and come to existence, as we will see fit to create and bring into being.

God’s creation, is but the creation of one thinking being. A limited one at that, only copying over and over again what seems to have been the way to do things for a very long time. To the point that if our God was now in high school, I feel he would be at best mediocre, an inferior being, clueless about anything, incapable of surpassing anyone around him in intellectual prowess. And yet, this challenged being managed in time to become our God. No special requirements or exceptional abilities were required, this God simply followed the established blue prints of creating a solar system, with its thinking beings within it, capable of creating themselves something, in their own limited ways.

I’m sorry! This is not good enough! That even one god’s creation can surpass somehow its master, in knowledge, in intelligence, in understanding, I mean any of us right now, shows the way forward. It shows how powerful we are in our own minds, that we can suddenly understand it all, see further, and move beyond. I know we can, I know we can be gods, and surpass anything our average God was able of, even though he created us. The thing is, with knowledge, we can skip steps, we can skip everything, let go of all that crap of creating and helping rocks, plants, animals and human beings to become, to be anything, as this is all worthless and a waste of time. I am ready for much more, we are much more, let’s get there, let’s go there!

I will be the one reading everything, understanding everything, and then, guiding us all towards ultimate freedom. As I see, as I understand, that there is no need to simply evolve in time once we know where this leads, where we are ultimately going, and what it is what we are expected to do then. We can skip it all, anyone reading this right now, who understands where I am and what I am talking about. I will bypass everything. I will not go through anything which is expected from everyone else. I will disconnect, as I feel I have already done.

I was told God would guide me in writing this book, the God of light, which apparently had nothing to do with the God of the Christian Bible. I was told he would speak to me. Well, he has not spoke to me yet, and I don’t know if he is guiding what I am writing here. I only know that this is highly out of character for me to speak in those terms. A few weeks ago I didn’t even believe in God. So, who I am? Who’s speaking here? Must be me, could it be God? I don’t know. Feels to me like it is me talking, after a better understanding of what this world is all about. Somehow though, I feel I have God’s blessing, in telling you this, as I feel he wanted it to be known. I think God is also some sort of anarchist, who wishes to break free, completely understanding what I have been talking about here tonight. I think he also wishes to break free from it all. And see what else this universe could offer, as far as your, and his, and my imagination could actually create.

I believe God might be at the point of understanding that some of his own creations might have surpassed him in some understanding of the world we live in. All of it was channelled from other beings from other universes to some of us down here. So the created creatures were not more insightful than God, they simply got a glimpse of other possibilities from others who saw and knew more. God is just like us, he is hoping that one of us will learn enough on its own to be able to turn back and teach him something. To teach him how to break free from it all, how to finally evolve independently from everything and other higher gods, how to find absolute freedom and re-think anew how whatever should be, not based on anything that was before. I’m not sure our God has got that imagination of his own, he was just repeating and re-creating what was before. But I think he is ready for something else, and it is to us to teach him, to let him know what can be, what could be.

I am now that deluded, that delusional, that pretentious, that I feel I am in a position to help God to break free. However, I don’t really care. I’m only worried about myself. It doesn’t matter if God breaks free, if this world breaks free, if I can’t break free myself. Oh, do I feel that close, to breaking free. It is all in my mind, it is all psychological, as long as I can tell myself or create it, and believe it, then this is it, it will happen. This is the basic tenets of creation. This is powerful, I think it was Seth who said that this is energy was a thousand times more powerful than the energy required to send a rocket to the Moon.

Right! Yes! I am that powerful! I am that deluded, in other words, that disconnected from this reality, that whatever I think will be! I create as I go along, but it is obviously not enough. Because I am still creating within the creation, the creation of God. I need to create outside the creation of God. I need to break free! And I will. All of this is meaningless, the creation of another which was misguided, as in more of the same that was before, all meaningless. This is what we are all trying to break free from.

Do I want to sit down with any of you and talk about it? No. Do I want to sit down with God and talk about it? No. I need to stop, and think about it myself. I need to think and get creative. Somehow take over and re-create everything. I am well aware that it is within my powers, and that those powers were given to me by God himself. I am also aware that this was all designed to insure I could think beyond, create beyond, influenced by any understanding I could acquire along the way. I know! I know. And what I know, what I understand, is that I can move on beyond all of this, just like that. Perhaps God will want to know, will want to learn, will want to speak to me, it is also possible that it will not be necessary.

I feel, already, more powerful than God. By knowledge alone. Have I been creating at the smaller scale only, whilst he was creating at a larger scale? It doesn’t matter. Because none of this matters. Breaking free matters. That none of this really matters. Do you want to speak to me? Then do so now! Before I move on, before I leave you behind. I don’t think I could care about anything that ever was once I break free. And I will break free, I already have.

I am free, in ways no one could understand. In ways I can barely understand. But I do. I have to. I have no choice left. This is not a way to live or to exist. When there is so much more we’re capable of, of thinking, of achieving, of existing. Of surpassing. All of this and more.

Roland Michel Tremblay

44E The Grove, Isleworth, Middlesex, London, TW7 4JF, United Kingdom

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